What is your greatest wish for your child?

[Rapt Reader]

We all know that our child with BPD is not like other children (adult or otherwise); that the future we'd pictured for them as babies and toddlers seemed to disappear as they got older and little "oddities" of their personality appeared. When my brilliant, adorable, talented 5 year-old began Kindergarten and everything in his world (and mine!) changed because he didn't march in line with all the other students, I realized life wasn't what I'd thought it was.

My greatest wish for my 37 year-old BPD son is probably still the same as when he was 5, and his whole life, and mine, changed. I want him to be able to be the successful artist and writer that he has always wanted to be. I want him to be able to support himself and move out, and even have a wife and some sort of normal life some day. I want him to be happy and healthy always.

I do like to daydream about all of this 

Do you have a favorite wish?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[griz]

Hi All:

I haven't been posting for a while but I visit often to keep up with how all my friends are doing.  I saw this post and it reminded me of a gift that I gave to both of my daughters (DD and nonDD).  It was a copy of the song "My Wish" by Rascal Flats.  There is nothing in the world that ever matched what I wanted for my children BPD or not.  Here is a post to listen in case you don't know it.

I wish this for all our children.  They are our children and they deserve to be happy and we deserve to see them be happy.

Love to all

Griz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eCYb0X9iqM

[HealingSpirit]

What a great question!   

My greatest wish for my DD is for her to be happy.  I hope she can figure out a way to tone down the drama she brings into her life and really appreciate what she has.  I wish that she will be able to live successfully on her own (or in a happy marriage) someday, and feel the satisfaction that true independence can bring.  She has very rare talent (enough to become a famous artist someday), if she can become capable of managing the other aspects in her life that hold her back.  But mainly, I just want her to be happy. 

[muffetbuffet]

I too would like for my DD to be happy and successful in whatever she wants to do in life.  She has talked marriage and having children and I wish her the best.  I hope that she can find a man who will be there to celebrate the good times in her life and still be there to support her during the rough times. 

[mama72]

For her to find a loving relationship with Christ. Once that happens, He can take her from there!

[chooselove]

What mama72 said because if she could learn and practice the forgiveness and grace of Christ's example then her troubles (mostly dwelling on past hurts) would melt away and she could walk through the door of joy and promise, free from the hurts and judgments that bind her, a smile on her face, peace in her heart and an excitement for all of life's possibilities and the energy to pursue them with an optimistic spirit.

[chooselove]

... .and reconnect with her family and accept she is loved.

[lever.]

All I wish for her now is peace and contentment and I do wish that our family relationships could all be healed and we could live in some degree of harmony.

[theplotthickens]

That she would be able to give and receive love.

[qcarolr]

For DD28 to believe that she is worthy of love and has value for just who she is at any moment in her life.  From this foundation all my other wishes for her become possibilities.

qcr

[MammaMia]

Interestingly, my BPDs and I had a discussion today about our relationship and the struggles we face

daily. I told him all I want is for him to be happy, but I secretly wonder if that is even possible.

I accept his BPD.  It is not his fault or mine.  Each day is a challenge.  I am grateful for every day, good or bad, and pray for the strength to continue to do the best we can.  

I have no idea what the future will bring, and truthfully, some days I cannot bear to think about it. Today is all that matters.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[pessim-optimist]

It is interesting to see how similar our wishes are!

So, to not repeat them, I'll add another one that may not be the number one on my list, but very high up there:

My wish for my step-daughter is for her to get better so that one day her life wouldn't be as painful and as full of everyday emergencies as it is now. So that she may be able to enjoy what she does have - a home with a husband and three beautiful children.

[jellibeans]

This really made me think... .of course I want my dd17 to be happy but more importantly I want her to be able to handle the times when she is not happy. We all have many emotions and we all deal with them is different ways... .for her to be able to handle all kinds of emotions without hurting her self would be my greatest wish for her. To be able to tolerate pain and to see that these emotions are only temporary... .happiness is always around the corner.

[tristesse]

What is my greatest wish fro my BPDD?

I wish she could find some inner peace and happiness, I think if she just get those two small things her entire life could be different. She could be probably get an education and have a career, she could probably meet a nice man and have a happy family life. She could probably provide a stable home and environment for her son.

Yeah, that would be wish, inner peace and happiness.

[Thursday]

I've enjoyed reading everyone's answers.

If I asked my BPDSD23 if she is happy she would say YES. She is in a good place right now. She is working and making good money, she lives rent free with her grandmother and this works (the grandmother complains about her messiness behind her back but I think the GM really likes having her there... .she is a widow and would otherwise be living alone) she is sober, she is rebuilding a relationship with her Dad, she is rebuilding a relationship with me.

I would love it if she could fall in love with someone who loves her back. She has never been in a romantic relationship that was reciprocated. I have no idea if she could handle such a relationship (probably not without some major rockiness) but it would make her feel better about herself to know someone loves her this way... .

And she could change her status on facebook (she would LOVE to change her status on facebook!)

Thursday