Black/White Thinking ... An Analogy With America's Got Talent

[maryy16]

I know my H has always had the black/white thinking about people, but it really hit me as how distorted his thinking is while watching America's Got Talent with him. We watch the show together every week.

There is one particular act on the show that my H really liked.  The first two performances were really good and my H said very complimentary things about the act. (White thinking).

Well, the third performance by this act was not quite up to par... .not bad at all, just not as good.  While i said " yea, that wasn't her best, but she's still really really good", my H's comment now was "She sucks!" And when the act was voted through to continue on to the next round, his comment was "She doesn't deserve to go on. She's no good" (Black thinking)

It really hit me then that he CANNOT and is truly UNABLE to see that good people can have an off day.  He cannot understand that just because somebody makes a mistake or messes up, that they are not bad people.  I used to think that his black/white thinking of people was due to the fact that he takes everything personally, but the girl on AGT has nothing to do with him.  His thinking is more distorted than I thought. 

I'm not really looking or advice because I know this is part of the condition, but while I actually do understand his feelings a little bit better, it makes me sad because I realized just how difficult BPD is to treat because of their oh so very distorted thinking about everything.

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[123Phoebe]

Thanks for posting this!

Is there a chance that your H was simply having an off day, too?  Or that he's free to have any opinion he wants on any given day and it doesn't have to mean much of anything?

I'm not trying to be argumentative or dismissing your analogy, these are the types of questions I have to seriously ask myself.  Am I being judgmental about this?  

Sometimes yes and sometimes no, while someone else might disagree... .

Well, I hope the girl nails it next time around