What do pwBPD feel, if anything when we reject them?

[Infared]

... .I have been out of my relationship for years now... but once I got into T and worked on me I went total NC... TOTAL... .but she will still try to make contact with me. I know that she has supply (the guy she ran off with)... .but she will try to walk up to me on occasion (there was never any admission of the cheating, the lies. Never an apology to me, etc. etc.)... like nothing ever happened with a look on her face like everything is like it always was.  This is only if she is alone.

If she is with supplier (  ) then the behavior could be ANYTHING... .victim... aggression from her, him or both (meanwhile ... .it is alway a chance encounter on my end... .ALWAYS... .don't know about them, though.)

Regardless of the type of encounter, alone or with supply... I always immediately just try to calm myself and act like an adult.  As far as I am concerned my base reaction is that I need to find safety for me. I need to love me. I need to protect myself from two individuals that were very hurtful to me. Repeatedly.   So, however I need to do it ... .I remove myself from the situation. I have gotten to that place where I just need not to be around it... .it still hurts ... .but I just process thru it and do what I have to do.

My question is... .what does my expwBPD feel in these situations?... .especially when she is alone... I have repeatedly made it VERY clear that I do not want to interact with her. It is very obvious why. Does she even realize how horribly that she treated me, our relationship and our home?  Yet, she will still try to make contact with me.  How is she feeling when I totally reject her? I have no clue at understanding these people.

[Blimblam]

I think it may be a case of if they already thought you would leave them and if they had set up their new feed supply system.  I remember when me and my ex began having talks about equity in the relationship and she would freak out.  She then started taking steps to find back up options. This created the downward spiral.  My expectation she would think for herself.  I suppoce if I had just yelled at her and told her from now on it's like this things would have been better. I was too emotionally invested to apply dog training techniques though.

[elessar]

A few years back when we were in the normal part of relationship before she split me black, I nearly broke up with her. By normal, I mean I wasn't at the receiving end of her rages only a couple of times. During those 6 months she couldn't commit to our relationship, except for 2-3 hrs on my birthday. By the end of the 5th month, I told her that I am thinking about setting her free and letting her make up her mind if she wants to be with me because I cannot deal with this uncertainty. I still remember her face, it was like a child whose parent is about to punish him. That sad face, tears starting to form in her eyes, "are you breaking up with me?"... .it was a sad sight that made quite guilty that I brought it on. so that's the closest I have come to experiencing what do they feel if they think we are rejecting them. They feel abandoned. Their self esteem takes a huge hit because they are narcissists. But it is like a child would feel abandoned by his/her parents.

[Infared]

A few years back when we were in the normal part of relationship before she split me black, I nearly broke up with her. By normal, I mean I wasn't at the receiving end of her rages only a couple of times. During those 6 months she couldn't commit to our relationship, except for 2-3 hrs on my birthday. By the end of the 5th month, I told her that I am thinking about setting her free and letting her make up her mind if she wants to be with me because I cannot deal with this uncertainty. I still remember her face, it was like a child whose parent is about to punish him. That sad face, tears starting to form in her eyes, "are you breaking up with me?"... .it was a sad sight that made quite guilty that I brought it on. so that's the closest I have come to experiencing what do they feel if they think we are rejecting them. They feel abandoned. Their self esteem takes a huge hit because they are narcissists. But it is like a child would feel abandoned by his/her parents.

Ok... ok... I get that.(I never breached any type of "break-up topic while we were together... .I expect that is EXACTLY how she would have responded, elessar... .EXACTLY... )... .but now... she has supply, and will still attempt to make contact which I totally reject (to take care of me)... .I am wondering What the heck?

[hergestridge]

She pretends like everything's ok between the two of you in order to fend of her own feelings of guilt. Isn't that possible. I know BPD type people who only accept "happy divorces", because that way they can avoid taking blame.

[woofhound]

Who really knows what the hell they think. They have impulses and do anything they think will get them what they want at that very moment... .like a child wants candy, eats it, then throws away the rest she doesn't want. my ex wants me, gets her orgasm, then finds a reason to discard me... .disgusting 3 year old in a very hot girls body.

[Infared]

Who really knows what the hell they think. They have impulses and do anything they think will get them what they want at that very moment... .like a child wants candy, eats it, then throws away the rest she doesn't want. my ex wants me, gets her orgasm, then finds a reason to discard me... .disgusting 3 year old in a very hot girls body.

That is what I suspect.  A little child and the self-centered impulses of the moment. Nothing more.

[Tausk]

How does  a traumatized three year old feel when their parent reject them?

Abandoned, Angry, Ashamed, Punished, Hatred... .

And then the child after a while returns to the parent for love. 

The Parent rejects them.

The child feels abandoned, angry, ashamed, punished, hatred,... .

And then the child after a while returns to the parent for love.

The Parent rejects them.

The child feels abandoned, angry, ashamed, punished, hatred,... .

And then the child after a while returns to the parent for love.

The Parent rejects them.

[willtimeheal]

The way it was explained to me was they feel an emotion very strongly and have to feel it all the way until it ends. They cannot control it. Once the emotion starts they can't stop it until it's over. So if it's anger they feel it all the way until it's done.  Once that emotion ends another one takes over. And the cycle continues.  Unlike us nons... .we can control our emotions and stop them and control how we react to them. A person with BPD can't. That is why we always say we are on eggshells... .we never know what emotion they are feeling and have to finish playing out at that moment. They can't control it.

[Infared]

I think this is true guys... .it's just difficult to accept that this is actually what is going on in the mind of a 45yr.-old woman. It's dumbfounding.