Ex feels shame and is projecting on son

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Ok, I want to help however the following just transpired, fully played out... .

Devalued me on a medical issue with our son

For over 2 months... .

Denied the problem 2 weeks ago when doctor gave advice

Went back to doctor got the same advice and ignored it that night

Same problem still present 3 days ago.  Got same advice from doctor, answered her questions and then she decides doctor isnt adequate.  Hasn't followed medicine for problem twice now.  

She doesn't follow advice, devalues it, me and doctor

Triangulates doctor getting a second doctor to advise as per her opinion, her and second doctor agree so that is how to proceed.  

Denies son medical help he needs

Cuts me out of process by stipulating XYZ will happen and I will let you know the result.  Again controlling.  

Now an issue I have raised has been shutdown and following behaviours have occurred.  

Controling situation.  Omnipotence regarding son.  

Splitting, black and white thinking.  She is correct, all or nothing.  

Disasosiation, just wants her view and zones out for everything else.  

Triangulation.  

Devaluation.  

The disorder always wins... .

This has 'centred' me.  

[Aussie JJ]

Ok, I want to help however the following just transpired, fully played out... .

Devalued me on a medical issue with our son

For over 2 months... .

Denied the problem 2 weeks ago when doctor gave advice

Went back to doctor got the same advice and ignored it that night

Same problem still present 3 days ago.  Got same advice from doctor, answered her questions and then she decides doctor isnt adequate.  Hasn't followed medicine for problem twice now.  

She doesn't follow advice, devalues it, me and doctor

Triangulates doctor getting a second doctor to advise as per her opinion, her and second doctor agree so that is how to proceed.  

Denies son medical help he needs

Cuts me out of process by stipulating XYZ will happen and I will let you know the result.  Again controlling.  

Now an issue I have raised has been shutdown and following behaviours have occurred.  

Controling situation.  Omnipotence regarding son.  

Splitting, black and white thinking.  She is correct, all or nothing.  

Disasosiation, just wants her view and zones out for everything else.  

Triangulation.  

Devaluation.  

The disorder always wins... .

This has 'centred' me.  

[Aussie JJ]

With this,

I have another more serious medical issue that is in the pipeline but the same dynamic is occuring, this has been over a ear infection.  I think there may be some inner ear problems effecting balance as well however this has been blocked by her for me getting it followed up. 

I am watching it again and again.  My next step is to not tell her about something, not give her the opportunity to shoot it down and just force the treatment.  When the last bit came in with a second doctor I was so bloody over it.  This is the 3rd medical issue she has done this with.  All small, nothing major.   

The next one is major and I can't accept the behaviours with it when I get a diagnosis of CP I am just going to have to get ready for that fight. 

Just under 2 weeks left and I can pay the full fee at the specialist and get it done and don't have to rely on the waiting list. 

Thing with mine is she is studying to be a psycologist... .  How she doesn't see what she is doing and have that self awareness is beyond me.