Stay away from their FB...

[.cup.car]

I'm blocked on all three of her facebook accounts (yep, three), but I do Google her name every ten months or so just to see if there's any jabs directed towards me and if that anger is snowballing into something more. Sometimes I find things, other times I don't.

She pops up on a plethora of online dating sites, from the mainstream to the obscure. All profiles ridden with lies. Not that it bothers me; her BPD-ridden messages to me also appear among the results. I'm sure those have saved a few people from making a costly mistake.

Most of her pictures don't bother me; she's a gorgeous girl and her photos are quite tasteful. The only ones that get to me are stuff she's taken on her bed, it's like "that's the comfiest bed I've ever slept in."

Then again my bed is pretty terrible so idk

[allweareisallweare]

Social media is a weapon. Ironically, I met the ex DBPDex on Facebook - a message came my way from her - so I have mixed feelings. The abuse endured throughout the rel. came through Facebook a lot of the time - all of my friends noticed it; I'm sure her's did (I would give my life to determine their true thoughts!)

There's a kick in the teeth when you see someone with a replacement in a Facebook profile picture - I've never mentioned the BPD support group. It's spine-tingling to read some of the posts on there from Borderlines - a lot of who have people in the pictures, even kissing them. And I'm thinking 'God, it's happening there, to others!"

I have blocked most of the primary friends as well as the ex - some of her friends blocked me (one, a close one, unblocked... .but then I blocked) I don't want it anymore, I want to be free of them. It's a vortex. I know there's things she would hate if she looked at my wall now. I shudder to think of her, a parasite and a coward, in the background - one day life will get better; I survived the BPD fallout.

I just leave her to it. It's a sad, mad world she lives in.

[findingmyselfagain]

elessar,

In some ways it is a sad love story. It seems like she wants "love" so badly, but then so easily seems to perceive most things as a threat or attacks, and mostly points fingers. Now that I look back things seem much clearer. In a lot of ways I may as well have been dating an emotional toddler. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not grieving her hurt as much as I'm grieving my own. It's getting easier to accept that it just is. I learned from the experience. I'm not angry toward her personally, because I saw up close just how hurt she is. I do hope one day she heals. The emotional charge isn't there like it used to be. I don't think I've reached total radical acceptance just yet. Grieving a lost love is very human, and it means that my love was real though our relationship was more flawed than I realized. I'm feeling more open to dating now and full of life than I have in many, many years. Maybe the pwBPD was the wake-up call that I really needed.

[Narellan]

Quote" Sometimes I wonder if I'm not grieving her hurt as much as I'm grieving my own. It's getting easier to accept that it just is. I learned from the experience. I'm not angry toward her personally, because I saw up close just how hurt she is. I do hope one day she heals. The emotional charge isn't there like it used to be. I don't think I've reached total radical acceptance just yet. "

This is exactly where I'm at. My exBPD is doing the most damaging hurtful stuff to get my attention and I feel so sad for HIM. I can just see how all over the place he is. He just doesn't know what to do next. He's acting like a little kid and wants me to punish him just so ill at least give him some attention/ response. I don't. But it does hurt me to see he is in pain. I can feel it. Even though he professes to be so happy and love his life he is putting up a fake front.

I've only ever had a brief slight anger to him, until I rationalised why he was behaving this way. And then the pity and love for him take over.

But I can move on with my life still loving him. I feel more peaceful and accepting of the whole thing now and have even recently thought about dating (it's taken 5 months) but haven't ventured out yet. Slight interest tho is progress I  think.

[Visitor]

The main reason I stay away from an ex's facebook is girls tend to only use their best photos for their profile photos which can distort your memory of how they looked. My ex was very photogenic but in person wasn't really all that at all. God if she actually looked like her FB photos I would have put up with her ___ for a life time!

Beauty covers many sins!

[Infared]

The main reason I stay away from an ex's facebook is girls tend to only use their best photos for their profile photos which can distort your memory of how they looked. My ex was very photogenic but in person wasn't really all that at all. God if she actually looked like her FB photos I would have put up with her ___ for a life time!

Beauty covers many sins!

I am soo over that!   LOL!   

[Michellinda]

It is so hard to stay away from checking their FB. We have 15 mutual friends and he is always commenting on their pics or posting on their walls which leads me to go on his page. He posted something hilarious which just led me to miss him because one of his good traits was being so witty. Ugh! FB is annoying!

[amigo]

Hi Narellan.

I "broke up" with face(crack)book 5 years ago. This was long before I met the BPDex. It was the best thing I ever did. Saves me a lot of trouble now!

[Narellan]

Yes it's so triggering for me. My former best friend( replacement) posts stuff about " the best thing in life is to do what others tell you not to do" and " do anything that makes u happy" blah blah... .Because I know of her secret affairs with friends husband and other indescetions including my exBPD, it makes me want to punch her . I want to post on these quotes what I really think of her, but can't so it just makes me stew. And for someone with BPD they can post a false life of happy go lucky life has never been better. I can read between the lines and lots of his posts were posted to trigger me. It's really bad news. But I'm still pulled to get back on sometimes. It's another addiction to conquer

[Bak86]

I made the mistake today. Man, she looks so happy in photo's, but i just know she isn't happy .

But yeah, bad bad mistake. Don't do it.

[elessar]

4 days and going strong. 8 days with just one hiccup. I know there is nothing but pain if I do. After a while, the knowledge of definite pain overcomes curiosity 

[Infared]

4 days and going strong. 8 days with just one hiccup. I know there is nothing but pain if I do. After a while, the knowledge of definite pain overcomes curiosity 

Now you are gettin it!  It is a twisted place to be and nothing that you ever wanted... .but there it is!

[Arminius]

I made the mistake today. Man, she looks so happy in photo's, but i just know she isn't happy .

But yeah, bad bad mistake. Don't do it.

Of course she looks happy in the pictures. Even 'normal' people tend to post happy stiff that makes them look their best.

But she'll most likely never actually BE happy. And your job is to ensure that YOU are.

My best revenge is/will be, to be happy