Google BPD phrase translator

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Would this not be a good idea?

I love you = I need you to love me

I don't like you = There way of trying to get you to change (for there good)

I don't want to hurt you again =  I know on some level my behaviour wasn't cool

An iphone app would be even better!

Any other translations we can add?

[Flora73]

Would this not be a good idea?

I love you = I need you to love me

I don't like you = There way of trying to get you to change (for there good)

I don't want to hurt you again =  I know on some level my behaviour wasn't cool

An iphone app would be even better!

Any other translations we can add?

[Flora73]

Oh... .forgot my favourite:

I'm "never" coming back = Until I change my mind

[fromheeltoheal]

And the premium app could tell us why a borderline says what they say, with a reply area for us to decide what we make it mean, how it makes us feel, and what we're going to do about it; very fruitful digging like that.

[Pieter2]

"I don't think this is working out"  = "Please chase after me"

"I'll leave you!" = "I need you to beg me to stay now"

"I'm not stupid. Did you cheat on me? I know you did" = "I cheated on you."

"You hate me" = "I hate myself"

"I am powerless to these situations. I can't change this" = "I know I caused it, but will not take responsibility for it"

"It's always about you!" = "Why can't you accept that it is ONLY about me?"

"You're crazy. You should see a Therapist." = "I need help, but won't take responsibility for it"

"You're friends all hate me and are a@@holes!" = "You have great friends. I can't allow them to see my true colors because they'll tell you to leave me"

"Your family hates me" = "Your family should hate me. They will when they find out the truth"

[Loveofhislife]

Stop yelling at me = stop telling me the truth and/or things I don't want to hear

You have such a good heart=you are so easy for me to take advantage of

I'm out with my sons today = I'm out trolling for new supply

Fine, just go back to your ex husband and your boss=I need to have you completely isolated from anyone who sees through me or will support you when I split you black

Everyone always cheats on me = I always cheat on everyone

I hate lying and sneaking around=that's MY game, and that no one else is supposed to play

[Mr Hollande]

"You're lying" = "I've lied to you about everything from the day we met"

[Willingtolearn]

Can someone translate what this means  when said by a pwBPD

" Delete it"

She was referring to her phone number.  Does it really mean delete it or do they have some hidden meaning when they say it.   Trouble is when a pwBPD says something they could very well mean something completely different,

[Artisan]

I hate you = give me attention

[Mr Hollande]

Can someone translate what this means  when said by a pwBPD

" Delete it"

She was referring to her phone number.  Does it really mean delete it or do they have some hidden meaning when they say it.   Trouble is when a pwBPD says something they could very well mean something completely different,

Delete it and see what the reaction is. Then you'll know what it means.

[toomanytears]

Thanks Flora73 - great post - this is such a reality check. Here are just a few of my stbx's doublespeaks:

I spoke to the mediator about your behaviour and we decided it was so bad it ruled us out of mediation = I'm afraid of any kind of mediation because I don't have the necessary communication skills

I want to be friends with you for the sake of the children = Iknow the children think I'm a xxxx and you are my best chance of getting them to like me

Your mother said I was a bxxxxxd = I think I'm a bxxxxxd and wouldn't be surprised if she said that about me

I've only got two bank accounts = I've got more than that but you won't find them

I'm not a philanderer = I am a philanderer

You've ruined my life and taken everything away from me = I've ruined everything but I won't take resonsibility

You threw me out of the house onto the street = I left the family home but once I had I realised I didn't like it

I'm afraid for my personal safety = I'm afraid of what I might do to you or myself

You are unbalanced and have to get therapy = I need therapy

You've got borderline personality disorder = I think I might have borderline personality disorder


etc etc etc.

[Mr Hollande]

"You are the love of my life" - "I have several men waiting in the wings ready to take your place at any given moment"

[SeaSprite]

You're always judging me = I am doing the wrong thing and can't admit it

You are passive aggressive = you aren't taking the bait or you aren't doing what I say

You don't understand feelings = you aren't catering to my feelings

You are a robot = you are being too calm and rational when I want drama

You never listen anyway = I want you to know what I want without me telling you, even if I don't know myself

I can't talk to you = you don't agree with everything I say

If you don't already know you just don't care = Let's play a guessing game

[woofhound]

You are unbalanced and have to get therapy = I need therapy

You've got borderline personality disorder = I think I might have borderline personality disorder


etc etc etc.

I love these... .toward the end of our relationship my ex began accusing me of having BPD (in a very angry way). She also told me I need therapy. Ironically, I immediately began researching BPD, and began going to therapy which I am still in. In doing so, I discovered that we both had signs and symptoms. However, I'm not the one that throws fits when I don't get my way, will stand in the drive way at 2am drunk, screaming and waking the neighbors (mine on one occasion and hers on the other), and throw a full fountain drink into my S/O's brand new car... .Also, she never got therapy. She just went around having sex with randoms... .some people's kids, man.

[Tausk]

You are unbalanced and have to get therapy = I need therapy

And the above translated one step further:

We are unbalanced.  We have limited sense of self.  We are together, which means that we are both really fcked-up and really need help and therapy.

[woofhound]

You are unbalanced and have to get therapy = I need therapy

And the above translated one step further:

We are unbalanced.  We have limited sense of self.  We are together, which means that we are both really fcked-up and really need help and therapy.

:'( too true

[toomanytears]

You are unbalanced and have to get therapy = I need therapy

And the above translated one step further:

We are unbalanced.  We have limited sense of self.  We are together, which means that we are both really fcked-up and really need help and therapy.

Yup spot on. And therapy was one of the most constructive things my stbx ever suggested.  It has helped clear the fog and made me realise that I had been locked into a very dysfunctional relationship for a very long time. Still working on getting him out of my head... .

[bigredboomer]

I learned to take all the things she said and reverse them because most of it was projection.

I hate you = I hate me.

You're a liar = I'm a liar.

You're an abuser = I'm an abuser.

You're lazy=I'm lazy.

etc. etc.

You end up learning a lot about them.

[coasterhusband]

This is an amazing thread! My favorite so far:

"It's always about you!" = "Why can't you accept that it is ONLY about me?"

My life.

Here's on I'll add that together with the one above should be printed on my gravestone.

"You always criticize me!" >> "If we have a reasonable two way conversation about your opinions and feelings, we'll never again be able to talk about mine"

"You are the one that's wrong!" >>  "I'm probably wrong, but I'll admit that over my cold, dead body!"

"You never listen!" >> "I'm scared out of my mind that you'll leave me if I agree I did something wrong, so instead I'll just get up in your face!"

"I don't understand what you're trying to say!" >> "I understand EXACTLY what you're trying to say, it's a valid point, and I'm now saying 'hey look over there' while I run the opposite direction.

[coasterhusband]

Forgot another classic:

"Every relationship with friends/family has been ruined" >> "I have backed myself into a corner complaining about my husband; either I have to start lying about why I'm always so mad/sad about his behavior or I have to stop talking to them before they understand he's not the problem I've made him out to be."

[KrisK7]

oh yeah.

"You stole all of my friends." -> "My friends all saw how bad of a person I was to you and around you and I can't take responsibility.'