my story i really feel that i am the one sick.

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« Reply #14 on: Yesterday at 11:50:35 PM »

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   my story is long ,but i will try to make it short . my ex and i were living together in 2011. she needed to move in her son  because her ex husband could not handle him any longer. this triggered my girlfriend's BPD and she decided to run away every chance she got. so this left me with her son ,which is BPD and npd. he was really trying to get his life back in order, but she would not allow this so he started doing drugs. one day he decided to paint me black and his rage came out he called me everything but a human and beat me up. i was bruised and had a fracture ankle. my ex stood there and did dishes while he abused me. i was able to call the cops, but because of the abuse i told them it was all my fault. he was told to leave my place for the night. the next day he came back and he would not let me out of my room. he took my light bulbs out and my tv and my cell phone . my ex, his mom, was seeing her ex again and everything was about her. she would not help me with him and there was nothing i could do but leave my home. ( her son was 14 at the time) and i was pushed and pulled so much that i did not even know the day. it was hell on earth, living with two people that had BPD and npd. she would idolize me when her and her sara were fighting  and then demonize me when her son was to much for her to handle then she would run from me and him.

she would tell me she just could not handle him crying and his rage. so it was on me to walk on egg shells around both of them. i was so addicted to her that i allowed this to happen no matter how miserable i was with them both.

on the third day of being locked in my room. i was able to get someone to call a friend for me. although i don`t remember going to the hospital, i did end up in a psych unit after this abuse. i was told that all i did was sit in the shower for hours and brush my teeth while in the hospital. so she and her son moved out after i got home from the mental hospital but before that she did,she told me that when i got home she was not taking care of me. i went in to therapy for ptsd and co-dependents. and i was getting better , my life was okay. i stilled had triggers but nothing like it was.

but then she contacted me again, and gave me a sob story that her girlfriend that she left me for would not allow her any freedom , that she was living in the basement , that she would only give her 20 dollars out of her pay check, that she was cheating on her. and she was having to sleep with a old guy to have any money. it was the same story that i heard before but i thought i was healthier and she told me that she was better. her son was in juvinile hall until he turned 18 because of drugs, and she told me that i would not have to deal with him. so what did i do? you guessed it! i started seeing her again. she moved back in . for the first couple months it was okay. i thought she really did change . nope she was still there she was still talking to her ex she was spending all her money and not paying rent. she was back to the abuse again, but this time it was about how sick she was (nothing was wrong with her)

  i lost hours at work and she was going to have to help. well she did not like this and refused to help so i had to pick up hours somewhere else for a month until my other job was able to get me more hours. well she broke up with me and moved into her own room in the same house. and i allowed it . i really allowed her to do whatever she wanted i did not have any boundaries with her. until one day her son was out of camp . he got out before he turned 18 and need to come and live with us . i said no way but she did it anyway because nobody in the family would take him. and believe me she tried to get him as far away from her as she could . she moved him in anyway . i called the law, but because he was a minor and she live at my place he could stay. i was not having this. and i let her know but she did not care she started seeing her ex again (who is just as much addicted to her as i was.) i kept saying he has one month until he is 18 and he has to leave . During that month i lived in my room in what felt like hell . he had girls in and out of here and also his pregnant girlfriend  lived here also. so i told her that he need to get a job she and him decided that if he sold weed out of my house that could be his job. so she went and bought it for him and allowed him to sell it out of my house. one day she wanted him out . the next day she could not leave her baby on the streets. so she decided to start sleeping with her old guy for money again. she would make me feel sorry for her. but not enough for him to stay.

she decided to leave for a weekend and he was not here either. i cleaned the house and just enjoyed being alone in my home until he came home and made a mess. i told him to clean up his mess because it was not right to leave it. this started a fight that i was not backing down from. he recorded half of the conversation but the half were he called me everything but a human. when she came home she started telling me that i would never treat him like that ever . and the only thing i could think is what about how he has treated me. i have never been mean to her but that day i was done with it. i told her to leave . and if she wanted her stuff to sue me for it . she called the cops and i left the house . she had three hours to get out she only took her son's stuff. i forgot the last time she left me she took everything and i mean everything even the toilet paper. so this time i was not going to allow that to happen . when she left that last time i knew i was done for good . i don`t feel sad for her . i don`t feel anything for her . i feel sad that i allowed it to happened again . i have moved on to my life again. she showed me that they can`t change if they get triggered they will abuse you, leave you , it is all about them and what they need. i could not and don`t want to deal with her again.

[ajr5679]

« Reply #14 on: Yesterday at 11:50:35 PM »

Reply with quoteQuote 


   my story is long ,but i will try to make it short . my ex and i were living together in 2011. she needed to move in her son  because her ex husband could not handle him any longer. this triggered my girlfriend's BPD and she decided to run away every chance she got. so this left me with her son ,which is BPD and npd. he was really trying to get his life back in order, but she would not allow this so he started doing drugs. one day he decided to paint me black and his rage came out he called me everything but a human and beat me up. i was bruised and had a fracture ankle. my ex stood there and did dishes while he abused me. i was able to call the cops, but because of the abuse i told them it was all my fault. he was told to leave my place for the night. the next day he came back and he would not let me out of my room. he took my light bulbs out and my tv and my cell phone . my ex, his mom, was seeing her ex again and everything was about her. she would not help me with him and there was nothing i could do but leave my home. ( her son was 14 at the time) and i was pushed and pulled so much that i did not even know the day. it was hell on earth, living with two people that had BPD and npd. she would idolize me when her and her sara were fighting  and then demonize me when her son was to much for her to handle then she would run from me and him.

she would tell me she just could not handle him crying and his rage. so it was on me to walk on egg shells around both of them. i was so addicted to her that i allowed this to happen no matter how miserable i was with them both.

on the third day of being locked in my room. i was able to get someone to call a friend for me. although i don`t remember going to the hospital, i did end up in a psych unit after this abuse. i was told that all i did was sit in the shower for hours and brush my teeth while in the hospital. so she and her son moved out after i got home from the mental hospital but before that she did,she told me that when i got home she was not taking care of me. i went in to therapy for ptsd and co-dependents. and i was getting better , my life was okay. i stilled had triggers but nothing like it was.

but then she contacted me again, and gave me a sob story that her girlfriend that she left me for would not allow her any freedom , that she was living in the basement , that she would only give her 20 dollars out of her pay check, that she was cheating on her. and she was having to sleep with a old guy to have any money. it was the same story that i heard before but i thought i was healthier and she told me that she was better. her son was in juvinile hall until he turned 18 because of drugs, and she told me that i would not have to deal with him. so what did i do? you guessed it! i started seeing her again. she moved back in . for the first couple months it was okay. i thought she really did change . nope she was still there she was still talking to her ex she was spending all her money and not paying rent. she was back to the abuse again, but this time it was about how sick she was (nothing was wrong with her)

  i lost hours at work and she was going to have to help. well she did not like this and refused to help so i had to pick up hours somewhere else for a month until my other job was able to get me more hours. well she broke up with me and moved into her own room in the same house. and i allowed it . i really allowed her to do whatever she wanted i did not have any boundaries with her. until one day her son was out of camp . he got out before he turned 18 and need to come and live with us . i said no way but she did it anyway because nobody in the family would take him. and believe me she tried to get him as far away from her as she could . she moved him in anyway . i called the law, but because he was a minor and she live at my place he could stay. i was not having this. and i let her know but she did not care she started seeing her ex again (who is just as much addicted to her as i was.) i kept saying he has one month until he is 18 and he has to leave . During that month i lived in my room in what felt like hell . he had girls in and out of here and also his pregnant girlfriend  lived here also. so i told her that he need to get a job she and him decided that if he sold weed out of my house that could be his job. so she went and bought it for him and allowed him to sell it out of my house. one day she wanted him out . the next day she could not leave her baby on the streets. so she decided to start sleeping with her old guy for money again. she would make me feel sorry for her. but not enough for him to stay.

she decided to leave for a weekend and he was not here either. i cleaned the house and just enjoyed being alone in my home until he came home and made a mess. i told him to clean up his mess because it was not right to leave it. this started a fight that i was not backing down from. he recorded half of the conversation but the half were he called me everything but a human. when she came home she started telling me that i would never treat him like that ever . and the only thing i could think is what about how he has treated me. i have never been mean to her but that day i was done with it. i told her to leave . and if she wanted her stuff to sue me for it . she called the cops and i left the house . she had three hours to get out she only took her son's stuff. i forgot the last time she left me she took everything and i mean everything even the toilet paper. so this time i was not going to allow that to happen . when she left that last time i knew i was done for good . i don`t feel sad for her . i don`t feel anything for her . i feel sad that i allowed it to happened again . i have moved on to my life again. she showed me that they can`t change if they get triggered they will abuse you, leave you , it is all about them and what they need. i could not and don`t want to deal with her again.

[willy45]

Wow man. That's really rough. I'm really glad to hear that you are out of that horrible situation. Take care of yourself.

[ajr5679]

Thank you, I have only been out two months now I am feeling okay. i am kinda used to her leaving now and i feel i am better this time because it was my choose for her to leave. i just could not take her son and the abuse.

[willy45]

No kidding. No one deserves that kind of abuse. Do you have access to a therapist?

[ajr5679]

yes i am in therapy thank god if i was not . i would be living in hell because i would of never let her go.

[TheBPDSurvivor]

yes i am in therapy thank god if i was not . i would be living in hell because i would of never let her go.

I'm glad to know you're in Therapy and for the answer to your title... , its not you who is sick but THEM and all these abuse you've accepted from her and the projections makes you think you're sick where in reality its simply not! Its the FOG which slowly corroded your self-esteem. The problem with many non's are the Co-Dependency.

In order to return back to normal, you've to force yourself to forget whatever things had happened between you and her. No second thoughts please because there simply is no logic. The whole relationship is fake as an illusion and they're truly out of mind and without any sense of self. They leech on your reactions to live no matter if its positive or negative. I know its hard to ignore the thoughts but once you ignore them and concentrate on your chores and enjoy the things you do, you'll instantly feel relieved. Learn to Love yourself. Not to mention, she'll go insane once she notices that you're enjoying your life without her dramas. Its so true that living well is the best revenge.

Sending out much peace and love to you... .

[Tausk]

Hey AJ:

Thanks for sharing.  I was inspired by your honesty and courage.  It will hurt, but you made the best choice.  Have the determination to see it through to the rewards. 

Everything sounds very painful.  And we understand.  Not that it lessens your pain, but knowing that we all on this side of the board have gone through the sharp pain and insanity that you describe, can help to move through the pain.

You are not alone.

Keep posting. 

Keep writing.

Keep reading.

We understand.

You made the best decision of your life by getting out.  You're going to find the love that you've always deserved if you just continue to work on yourself.

Be open minded with the therapy.

And thanks for sharing.