What is it like having no sense of self?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Here's a theory: you know that voice in your head, the one that just said "what voice?", the one you talk to when you "talk to yourself"?  Someone without a self doesn't have that.  I say a borderline has half a self, so they do have a voice, it's just screaming "don't leave me" all the time, and obsessed with finding and attaching to another half.

I think that's quite accurate. I had that conversation with my wife many times; she would say something really tactless and hurtful and I would ask her if she could have imagine beforehand what the reaction would be on the things she said.

It turned out she didn't have the "inner dialogue" that I have, at least not in the same way. No "talking to yourself".

"Talking to yourself"/inner dialogue is an important of both self soothing and empathetic thinking. There really are some essential parts missing.

Mentalization is one of therapy methods used to treat BPD. It's all about imagining how things must be for others before reacting. It's about getting yourself an inner voice and learning how to use it I suppose.

[hergestridge]

Here's a theory: you know that voice in your head, the one that just said "what voice?", the one you talk to when you "talk to yourself"?  Someone without a self doesn't have that.  I say a borderline has half a self, so they do have a voice, it's just screaming "don't leave me" all the time, and obsessed with finding and attaching to another half.

I think that's quite accurate. I had that conversation with my wife many times; she would say something really tactless and hurtful and I would ask her if she could have imagine beforehand what the reaction would be on the things she said.

It turned out she didn't have the "inner dialogue" that I have, at least not in the same way. No "talking to yourself".

"Talking to yourself"/inner dialogue is an important of both self soothing and empathetic thinking. There really are some essential parts missing.

Mentalization is one of therapy methods used to treat BPD. It's all about imagining how things must be for others before reacting. It's about getting yourself an inner voice and learning how to use it I suppose.

[bungenstein]

Here's a theory: you know that voice in your head, the one that just said "what voice?", the one you talk to when you "talk to yourself"?  Someone without a self doesn't have that.  I say a borderline has half a self, so they do have a voice, it's just screaming "don't leave me" all the time, and obsessed with finding and attaching to another half.

Great anaylsis.

So basically they drift around without thinking, impulsively drifting towards whatever gratifies them, doing whatever it is they think will result in their emptiness and pain being taken away.

And thats it, thats their incredibly primitive existence.

Its no wonder my ex was incapable of in depth conversations, or delving deep into interests or creativity, they just don't understand it, all they seem to think about is how to survive.