Quiet high functioning BPD

[Hawk Ridge]

I have read so much about relationship recycling here.  I was curious if this is common with high functioning quiet BPD's too. 

[hurting300]

Their is no (high functioning) borderline. They are all the same in my opinion. Borderlines fool themselves into thinking they don't need you after you breakup or they breakup. Most of the time they do come back or call you, because they fear abandonment and shame plus regret is at their core. In the mind of a borderline it is completely disordered and please do not try to analyze what she did or why she did it. Borderlines honestly never detach from exes, they just repress feelings until they are triggered again.

[mitchell16]

I was invloved with my BPDgf for over 3 years. She would be what I call high functioning, meaning to the outside world she appears normal, she gorgeous, amazing personality that draws people to her. She is on top of her game at work, overachiever, school the same way was the top of her class. She always looks together. But behind closed doors, is where the cracks start showing. She will go months without paying her bills even when she has the money, hypersexual, constant lying, reckless behavior, and some forms of self mutilation. But its the longevity of things that in my opinion she cant hide her issue, relationships or at work. She was a top employee but was fired. Same way with her minute relationships. prior to us dating she would only date someone for a couple of months and then she would break up and they would chase her forever longing for her to come back to them. Why? cause they only got to see the outside her. pretty women, great body, educated and crazy wild sex. Every mans dream. LOL. but when you stay past the first few months, i would say around 4 thats when the crazy shows up. Same way at her work. When she was out in the field unsupervised she was a wonderful employee, promoted her to management and a year later they have to fire her. when she got promted to management she started having to deal with people, and she was in constant drama and conflicts. every office they moved her to within a month she was involved in some sort of conflict with someone.

i cant say they all recycle but we recycled so many times in 3 years I have lost count. The longest she has ever went without contacting me was about 5 weeks. we are at 3 weeks now. Will she try to recycle with me I would almost bet my paycheck she will at some point. I will say the at least by the 4 month period. She has never really cut connectiions with any of her exs, she maintains some form of contact, kinda like a roladex of relationship people.  so yes in my experience they almost always recycle, which honestly is a nightmare. I to will catch myself longing for a recycle but it would have been easier if she had walked away and never reached back for me. cause it been hell.

[Cocoon]

I appreciate what you've written here. It's confusing. A 12 step phrase I remember about addiction, "Cunning, baffling, powerful."

I'm sending you prayers for healing.

[HopefulDad]

My dBPDw is clearly high functioning, yet has given me back her rings seven times.  The only reason is that it hasn't been eight or more is because I still have them after the 7th time.