While driving... slow then fast... nothing in-between

[Englishman]

I've only just figured my ex is BPD very recently. We broke up for no reason what so ever other than"I hurt her"... .which I didn't. Well... .I did... .but I was ignorant to BPD pain. After 10 years I keep remembering strange things... .and the BPD seems to brings answers to her strange behavior. We were on a road trip and she was driving my car. She would cruse to 90 and then I'd tell her to slow down... .then she would suddenly cruze at 50... .I let it happen to see if she was just being sarcastic but she wasn't. Anyone had any similar experiences? She did also try to get out of the car while I was driving at 70 down the freeway but that's another story. Living in Los Angeles she had a 3 hour round trip commute every day. Her route to work across LA made absolutely no sense whatsoever... .and she wouldn't listen to reason. I've lived there 25 years and I know it very well.  Anyone else have similar experience?

[Mutt]

It sounds like emotionally immature behavior.

[Perez]

Englishman,

My wife exhibits similar behavior in a slightly different way.  From time to time we need to drive separate cars to get to a destination.  I have noticed that if she is leading, she will zoom ahead and not really care too much on whether I can follow her.  On the other hand, if she is following me, she drives like an absolute snail and I have to constantly be stopping slowing down etc.  The one time I ignored her and moved on ahead, it led to a huge dysregulation.

Noticed this quirk with my wife early in our marriage, talking to her about  it does nothing to change the behavior.  Now that I have learned about BPD,wondering is there is a deeper control issue at work.

[enlighten me]

My exgf would also drive like  maniac or like a little old lady. She also had some strange routes she would take. Ones that where slower and went down to single lanes so you could get stuck with other traffic. She insisted these routes where quicker. She even had to prove it once by insisting we went our own way and see who got there first. She just beat me which surprised me. Out of curiosity I tried timing myself and my route was quicker for me. I suspect that she sped all the way back just to prove a point and I had visions of her doing 70 down these country roads.

[freedom33]

I have noticed that if she is leading, she will zoom ahead and not really care too much on whether I can follow her.  On the other hand, if she is following me, she drives like an absolute snail and I have to constantly be stopping slowing down etc. 

It's all about controlling you. Everything is about control with BPD.

[maxen]

glad this came up. too often my stbxw would speed along to the point it frightened me, and i had to ask her to slow down, and she did, and not sarcastically tbh. she admitted once, when i wasn't in the car, she had hit the car in front of her. other times she showed she really liked going fast, inappropriately fast (e.g. down broadway here in manhattan). and i also had issues with her taking what seemed to me to be strange routes, and wrongly estimating the time/distance we'd be traveling, like really badly, and thinking it was no big deal at all.

reckless driving is included in the list of BPD diagnostic behaviors among the DSM criteria, i guess alot of you know that.