I have to see her tomorrow for my condo refi

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I have not seen her in over 6 weeks, since she officially moved out. We really haven't been speaking or communicating at all, which is what I want.

However, I decided to refinance my condo before getting a divorce to get a lower rate and to also get some money back so I can pay her what I still owe her.

I did not know she'd have to sign some papers at the closing. Which is tomorrow. So I emailed her and she agreed to come. Then "after sleeping on it", she had a bunch of questions and wanted to talk to my mortgage lady to "make sure the documents were true" etc. She couldn't reach the woman yesterday and then I was finally able to explain to her that this was normal procedure when a married person is buying a property on their own, the other spouse has to sign a Quit Claim Deed.

We had already previously agreed we just wanted a clean break and were not claiming each other's condos. But of course she has to make this difficult for me. I finally was able to explain to her that this is perfectly normal and even if we were staying married, she'd have to sign these things. She said "ok I'll see you at the closing tomorrow".

I'm trying not to stress about it but I can't help myself! I hold SUCH animosity towards this woman and we both have to be on our best behavior so the notary does not know we are going to divorce. I told my wife this and she agreed to not mention it. I stressed that I needed to refi so she can get her money, which no doubt encouraged her to play along, since money is her biggest motivator.

I just want tomorrow to be over with.

[SpringInMyStep]

I have not seen her in over 6 weeks, since she officially moved out. We really haven't been speaking or communicating at all, which is what I want.

However, I decided to refinance my condo before getting a divorce to get a lower rate and to also get some money back so I can pay her what I still owe her.

I did not know she'd have to sign some papers at the closing. Which is tomorrow. So I emailed her and she agreed to come. Then "after sleeping on it", she had a bunch of questions and wanted to talk to my mortgage lady to "make sure the documents were true" etc. She couldn't reach the woman yesterday and then I was finally able to explain to her that this was normal procedure when a married person is buying a property on their own, the other spouse has to sign a Quit Claim Deed.

We had already previously agreed we just wanted a clean break and were not claiming each other's condos. But of course she has to make this difficult for me. I finally was able to explain to her that this is perfectly normal and even if we were staying married, she'd have to sign these things. She said "ok I'll see you at the closing tomorrow".

I'm trying not to stress about it but I can't help myself! I hold SUCH animosity towards this woman and we both have to be on our best behavior so the notary does not know we are going to divorce. I told my wife this and she agreed to not mention it. I stressed that I needed to refi so she can get her money, which no doubt encouraged her to play along, since money is her biggest motivator.

I just want tomorrow to be over with.

[Mr Hollande]

Fingers crossed that it runs smoothly for you so you get her out of your hair once and for all.

[SpringInMyStep]

thanks. 

then after that, we can proceed with the divorce and I won't have to see her because that can all be done through email and stuff.

[Mr Hollande]

When my Demon walked out we had nothing financial together. No kids, no marriage, no property and that has made it easier. I hate her with a passion but at least I don't have to suffer any contact over financial matters. What's mine is mine and she has no part in it. Had I been tied to her in that way it would have driven me absolutely crazy so I feel for you there. I really hope it goes well and that you can peel her off with little to no blood loss.

[SpringInMyStep]

Mr Hollande... .thanks! And it's funny that you call her your ":)emon" because my wife claims to have multiple personalities and many of them "identify as demons". Whatever.

So luckily this is not a jointly-owned property, but because we are married, me refinancing even my own condo that's in my name only becomes more complicated.

Luckily I was able to get my mortgage lady to contact my wife and she told me they talked and everything was explained and apparently my wife is ok with things. Sheesh.

I am trying not to get super stressed out because I realize this is her way of trying to control matters. I know she wants her money and the way to get it is to let me refinance.