frustrated with myself

[pieceofme]

i have tried - twice now - to unsuccessfully to implement NC. each time, i've strung together four days of NC before my ex got me to crack. we spoke - albeit briefly - several consecutive days last week. all conversations were via text and instigated by my ex. for weeks he had been constantly hounding me! well, it seems i've been painted black again, as i haven't heard a peep from him this weekend.

on the upside, i have two days of NC under my belt... .again. however, his silence (ST?) is driving me crazy. i'm frustrated that i'm so bugged by this... .why?

[DiamondSW]

You are bugged because you are healthy! 

You are normal.

You aren't screaming, ranting, quoting god... .  or any other weird BPD behaviour.  You are just plain p****d off.  Which sounds entirely normal after the BPD rollercoaster. 

The next thing is you might feel remorse, sadness, maybe even fear... .again, normal human emotions which evolve.  Look after yourself and read these forums... they make the psychological turmoil of 50 shades of grey look very impotent