probing

[mitchell16]

well I got my 3 week probe. It came in the form of a text message of something that didnt even make any sense or really have to do with me. then I got a call from her and then 3 more calls and then another text and then silence for the last few days. I call this the probe to see if i was still game. which I held and didnt repsond which I wont lie it was very hard to do. I feel like they  (BPD) are like a drowning person reaching for anything in their time of need. I figure since Ihavent heard anything else she found someone else to soother her needs.

[freedom33]

Sounds about right... .Well done in keeping strong and good luck with the rest.

[mitchell16]

thank you. It was very hard to ignore and I struggled with it for a few days. But today Im  much better. Ive met a nice lady who has expressed in intrest in dating. So ive either met a future r/s or at least a new friend. But I can tell the im sitting on caution cause of the nightmare I just went through. As far as the ex goes, this is her norm. Ive heard " I will never call you again " or  " i will never be vulnerable again" only for her to reach out for me a few days later. I used to wonder why she does the things she did. and I have figured out that there is no figuring them out.

so its now been a few days and not a sound from exBPD. So im sure my suspcion was correct. She was either scared that I was slipping off the hook or my replacement failed in some sense and she had to make sure I was still available, or good ole trigulations to make the replacement jealous. Kinda of like she did with me in the beginning, she was always telling me about some guy who wnated her or an ex that was calling trying to get her back. This is most likely what she did when she met me. She had told me she had been broken up with her ex 2 months before we met. She said he would call or text from time to time. but she had told him she was done and for him to move on. One night we was togther and he text asking how she was doing. She text back and told him she was dating someone and that he needed to move on. The next thing I knew he texted back a string of vulgarity telling her what kind of sorry B**** she was. This never made sense to me. Why would he act this way after them being broke up for a few months. But it came to me unless she had been stringing him along, just like she has done to me. telling him she loved him but just needed space and in the mean time searching out his replacement and then next thing he knows she is with someone esle. I would probably acted the same way. Since I never call her first I wonder if she was trying to bait me to call her back or start enegaging her back so she could do me the same way. once funny was the ex before that text her that vulgar stuff, she let me about 5 after we was dating to go back to him for a few weeks, she decided she was confused when she heard he was dating someone else. I figure it was just to mess his world up and then came running back to me. So No contact is getting so much better,

[myself]

I feel like they  (BPD) are like a drowning person reaching for anything in their time of need.

Like drowning people who get pulled out, time after time, by many people in their lives, then flinging themselves back into the deepest waters to continue struggling. It's what they know. Who they are.  NC = Dry land for us.