Hello to all,
my mother is sick and I'm really crap. My father is also gone. My aunt is going to help us but it is possible to meet with my exBPD. She knows my aunt and I'm going to my aunt's house to both help my mother.
I don't know what to do should I meet her. I'm afraid she will manipulate me with a hug or by showing me pseudo empathy/sympathy for my mother etc. I'm very weak right now to have an appropriate reaction or not be affected by her. I really don't know what to do. I'm NC now for 2 months.
I am sorry you are going through all of this right now, especially with your mom. There's no easy path, or simple advice. All I can do is share some of what I learned, and hope it helps in some way.
1. It matters how we frame things: Perhaps you can give yourself credit for taking time to help your mother. It's an opportunity to connect with her, rather than a risk of seeing your ex. Focus on the bigger purpose, rather than
2. I know that "manipulation" and tactics like "pseudo empathy" are real -- but is it possible we can blunt impact by changing our perspective? Can we give ourselves space so that such tactics do not impact us? I believe we can do so. It takes practice and intention, but it can be done.
Keep posting. We are here for you.
