Is this common with BPD?

[Bak86]

Me and my undiagnosed BPDex work together. Today i noticed something very very strange. Something that i hadn't seen before while we were together. She goes on holliday next week and she can't finish her work in time, so she needed help. She asked a coworker and me to help her out. While she did this, i saw complete panic. Her eyes were HUGE and it almost looked like she was about to cry. Her body was like a plank. She completely froze up. Was this panic because of stress? Or fear of rejection? An attempt to test the waters between us? Never seen anything like this.

[LettingGo14]

Me and my undiagnosed BPDex work together. Today i noticed something very very strange. Something that i hadn't seen before while we were together. She goes on holliday next week and she can't finish her work in time, so she needed help. She asked a coworker and me to help her out. While she did this, i saw complete panic. Her eyes were HUGE and it almost looked like she was about to cry. Her body was like a plank. She completely froze up. Was this panic because of stress? Or fear of rejection? An attempt to test the waters between us? Never seen anything like this.

Hello Bak86.   Because we are a community of people trying to heal from relationships with pwBPD, may I ask:  What does understanding her reaction mean for you? 

Truthfully, who knows what her trigger/reaction means?

More importantly, perhaps, how does it impact you?  How are you left feeling?  Sad? Empathetic?  Other?

[Bak86]

Me and my undiagnosed BPDex work together. Today i noticed something very very strange. Something that i hadn't seen before while we were together. She goes on holliday next week and she can't finish her work in time, so she needed help. She asked a coworker and me to help her out. While she did this, i saw complete panic. Her eyes were HUGE and it almost looked like she was about to cry. Her body was like a plank. She completely froze up. Was this panic because of stress? Or fear of rejection? An attempt to test the waters between us? Never seen anything like this.

Hello Bak86.   Because we are a community of people trying to heal from relationships with pwBPD, may I ask:  What does understanding her reaction mean for you? 

Truthfully, who knows what her trigger/reaction means?

More importantly, perhaps, how does it impact you?  How are you left feeling?  Sad? Empathetic?  Other?

Well i just want to understand what happened. It's something that i haven't seen before in her behavior. Just wondering why she is panicking over such a trivial thing, yet in our relationship this never happened.

I'm not really moved by it as i would in the past, as i'm almost completely over her, but i do feel bad for her.

[LettingGo14]

Well i just want to understand what happened. It's something that i haven't seen before in her behavior. Just wondering why she is panicking over such a trivial thing, yet in our relationship this never happened.

I'm not really moved by it as i would in the past, as i'm almost completely over her, but i do feel bad for her.

I'm not sure there's a road map to translating behaviors in context of BPD.   Who knows what triggers anybody?   The panic may have been interaction with you, or shame, or stress, or... .fill in the blank... .

Most importantly, I commend you for being "almost completely over her."  Your empathy toward her is also a good sign (for you, especially).

What worked best for you in detaching, especially since you had to see her at work?

[Bak86]

Well i just want to understand what happened. It's something that i haven't seen before in her behavior. Just wondering why she is panicking over such a trivial thing, yet in our relationship this never happened.

I'm not really moved by it as i would in the past, as i'm almost completely over her, but i do feel bad for her.

I'm not sure there's a road map to translating behaviors in context of BPD.   Who knows what triggers anybody?   The panic may have been interaction with you, or shame, or stress, or... .fill in the blank... .

Most importantly, I commend you for being "almost completely over her."  Your empathy toward her is also a good sign (for you, especially).

What worked best for you in detaching, especially since you had to see her at work?

Detaching was a long process and it's still going on. It helps just to try to be indifferent as much as possible. Colleagues of mine who know the whole story, give me a lot of support as well. One said, she will never make you happy, she never will be happy herself. That gave me hope. It also helped to date other people.