living together .

[ajr5679]

my story is like most people stories, but I have this question that is driving me crazy. my exBPD was living with me in my place. she did not pay bills (which in normal for them) she was always sick. hated her job, but went to work. I never made her feel like this was not her home. I would even asked her if she felt at home here and she would always say yes. well her son is not a nice guy and was on drugs . got a 16 year old pregnant and he is 18. he would not get a job. she has always just gave him what he wanted because she could not deal with him having needed she would run away from him when ever she could. this is was not a something she hid from anybody. she would try to get her sister to take him or just anybody. so are life was going I can`t say I was happy but I was not miserable with her. and I am very good at hiding my needs from her because she was my addiction and I did not want to lose this. she came home and she told me that she felt she needed her own place because she is almost forty and owns nothing. I was like what the h ell. but I said to her many times people that are in relationship lives together all the time. this just does not make any sense.

then her son got out of jail and needed a place to stay so she brought him to are place. this kid beat me up and mentally abused me. but she moved him in away I was not having this so she started looking for a place to live with him. I kept telling her people don`t just move out of there home to allow there kids to do drugs and not work . I feel she would paint him white and then black to . so the day she moved out she slept with a ex of mine (Lesbian relationship). I just laughed because by this time I just wanted the drama to end. so she packed up her son and dropped him down at his drug dealers house and she moved in to a place alone. I figure by now she has someone living with her. but who cares about that now she is sleeping with a old for money which she has been doing this for years. when she lived with me she did not have to ___ her self out . she make good money but blows it on what ever she wants. it is like she throws away her kids to. because  can`t handle them

I asked her one time if I was to get sick would you be there to help me and she said no.

she could not handle stress she would always run from anything that made her stress out.

if I got back up on bills and need help she would not help. everything was about her. I told her when she was leaving that I swear you really are the devil. how do they deal with kids having needs.

 


 

[LettingGo14]

my story is like most people stories, but I have this question that is driving me crazy.

Thank you for sharing your story ajr5679.

how do they deal with kids having needs.

Is this the question?   

I think you hit on the answer in the many ways "can't deal" came into the equation.  That said, I'm not sure that it's an easy answer, as many factors come into play.

How are you doing right now?

[ajr5679]

I am doing okay. thank for asking .

yes that is my questions how do they deal with kids haven needs?

my ex would always run from her kids when ever they had needs or even if they came over to are place and they stayed to long. the relationship I had with her was off and on so much , but this time it is my choose to let her go. I just did not want to deal with her anymore.  it is. was and is still like she is my drug of choose .

[SpringInMyStep]

so my ex and I did not have kids... .she's MtF transgender and can't physically have one, but she talks about adopting someday. seriously? WHO would let her adopt a kid with all of her mental illness diagnoses? (BPD, DID, PTSD, etc)

she can barely take care of herself! she used to take my dog outside when I was at work, but the second she had a "trigger" or "back pain" or anything else, my poor dog did not get taken out and my wife would be in bed for days "sick". You can't pull that when you have a kid... .you have to muddle through even when you don't feel so good.

[tim_tom]

how do they deal with kids having needs.

This was my primary concern, she would get overwhelmed by the smallest things. We had a cleaning lady and I helped with laundry and dishes. Her house hold chores amounted to straightening up, sweeping kitchen floors and dishes/laundry... She would constantly have breakdowns that she can't take care of such a big house (2700 sq feet, not that big) and it's too much for her.

I was thinking, are you kidding? You barely do anything

I always thought to myself, she's in for a rude awakening when she's got babies to take care of, of course i then wondered, maybe she will love them so much that she will enjoy doing it... But I suspect that won't be a case...

I don't think she'd be happy unless she had a live in nanny who did everything... but she'd probably feel guilty and bad about that and end up bottling it up for more rage later... I guess you cant win

ps... She never paid any bills either

[ajr5679]

mine ex would clean the house when I was at work , then she would complain that I was not telling her thank you enough for the house being clean . she would also tell me that some days she would look at me and hate me. I think it is the same with kids. I would asked her why she hated me on that day and she would say nothing . I just some days hate you what the f!@#k.

god these kind of people can drive you insane.