feel alone

[amyjane]

Never ever been part of an online group.

But I have a 19y daughter with BPD.

I am tired of feeling so alone and different.

Talking about BPD in everyday relationships just doesn't work.

I need to know I am not alone.

HOpe this experience is helpful.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[merlin4926]

Welcome I'm sure you will find the support you need here and you are definitely not alone. There's lots of people who understand and I agree so many people in the 'real world' don't get it and the message boards give you chance to talk about things with people dealing with the same sort of issues x

[livednlearned]

Hi amyjane,

Welcome to bpdfamily 

You're definitely not alone. Lots of people here experience the same isolated feeling you describe, and like you, find the "real world" doesn't understand what it's like to have a BPD loved one -- why they do the things they do, how exhausting it is, how regular discipline and parenting doesn't apply, plus the love you feel for someone who can behave so out of control.

Is your D diagnosed? There are many people here who know their loved one is BPD, even without a diagnosis.

How are you doing? It's hard enough to raise a teen-ager, and adding BPD to it can make day to day life very challenging.

Glad you found the site. This place changed my life. It's awful to feel isolated when you're already feeling so worn down. You'll find a lot of great support and advice here. People really do know what you're going through.



LnL

[Mutt]

 

Hi amyjane,

I would like to join merlin4926, livenlearned and welcome you. I'm sorry to hear that you are having difficulties and feeling alone.

It is frustrating when you are in a situation where you try to reach out to family and friends for help. They may not understand because they are trying to apply reason when things are different with a person a mental illness. Many members here share experiences and can offer guidance and support.

I would like to echo livenlearned. This place changed my life as well.

-Mutt

[mama72]

 

You are not alone amyjane, but this illness can sure make a parent feel like it, I know. Read up on some of the stories on this board, lots of great advice.

[qcarolr]

Hi amyjane    

Welcome to the 'parenting our BPD kids' board. Whew, I have experienced that isolation and feeling of being alone with this heartbreaking life. The intensity of my home with BPDDD28 has been so hard at times, esp the past 10 years. Yet, with the help of the tools and skills and caring support I have gotten here things are better in my family. I had never even heard of BPD until DD was 23. So wish I had known what I do now when she was younger.

There is a lot of guidance in the information on the right sidebar. My suggestion is to start with the link "Foundation Reading". The videos are a good place to start. Then dive into the TOOLS. You can start making changes as you learn - things can get better.

Can you share more details about your family situation? What resources are available to your daughter? Are there siblings and a spouse in your home? What help is there for you?

Self-care - yes this is very important and hard to hear at the beginning. Hey, this is about my child, not about me! The reality for me is when I am able to get some of my needs met, to feel stronger and better grounded, then I am able to not take my DD's behaviors as personally. Then I can stay calm and be more effective in my relationship with her. It is still a roller coaster ride but the drops are not from such a height as they used to be.

Keep coming back. We care. We understand.

qcr

[MammaMia]

Amyjane

So glad you have found us.  You are very welcome here.

Yes, any parent with a BPD child (including adult children) knows exactly what you are talking about. This cruel disorder tears everyone who loves a pwBPD apart emotionally and physically. This is a very bizarre and severe mental illness that is difficult to treat and even more difficult to live with.

BPDF has so much helpful information.  Please review it, if you have not already, because I know you will find comfort by doing so. Our job is to help you understand BPD and offer educated advice about how to deal with it, and how to take care of yourself.  The health and wellbeing of caregivers is so very important, but sadly, those outside our community rarely understand our needs. This site allows all of us to support each other with kindness and compassion based on accurate information about BPD and mutual experiences.

Please share some of your story with us, and we will do our best to help.  You will never feel isolated and alone again.  Promise.

Welcome and thank you for joining us.

[Elbry]

 

Amyjane, you are not alone, we are here to listen and to help.  Please tell us more of your story.  I am so glad I found this site, I come here every day, and I find so much support here.  It is hard to talk about BPD with people who have no experience with it because they just don't get it.  BPD is terrible, it affects the whole family on so many levels.  You have come to the right place!