Fly On The Wall

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Living back home with my uBPDm and uNPD stepdad.  Just found these boards and am learning about BPD.  Lightbulbs are going off.

I was reading about the way that BPDs think recently.  I am just learning about all the negativity and the mistrust and the cynicism.  I mean, it's always been a part of my uBPDm's personality, but I didn't realize it was mental illness.

However, lately, I've been listening in on the phone conversations between her and her brother, an alcoholic that just lost his wife.  Now that I have clarity, these convos are unbelievable to me.  I am finally "hearing" the mental illness and co-dependency. 

The comments are so negative.  I can finally see how my mother believes the world is a horrible, negative place and that people are bad and not trustworthy.  The convos are litanies of negativity.

"Well, you know they're all ___ers.  I'm a paycheck away from bankruptcy ( guilting me because she knows I'm listening and she's been giving me money).  You gotta do what you gotta do.  Those companies just take all your money.  The friggen co-op I'm trying to sell - all of a sudden 6 other units are up for sale.  Not only do they underbid me - you know, I'm just so beyond that.  If I find out one of these troublemaker realtors are behind this, I'm going to have to kill someone... ."

Dear lord. I had no idea about this kind of thinking and BPD until 2 weeks ago.  But now, I'm listening and I'm like WOW I can't believe I've been listening to this my entire life.

Anybody else have experience with this kind of negativity from their BPD?  How do you counter it?  How have you learned NOT to think like this yourself, and to trust people?

[jmanvo2015]

Living back home with my uBPDm and uNPD stepdad.  Just found these boards and am learning about BPD.  Lightbulbs are going off.

I was reading about the way that BPDs think recently.  I am just learning about all the negativity and the mistrust and the cynicism.  I mean, it's always been a part of my uBPDm's personality, but I didn't realize it was mental illness.

However, lately, I've been listening in on the phone conversations between her and her brother, an alcoholic that just lost his wife.  Now that I have clarity, these convos are unbelievable to me.  I am finally "hearing" the mental illness and co-dependency. 

The comments are so negative.  I can finally see how my mother believes the world is a horrible, negative place and that people are bad and not trustworthy.  The convos are litanies of negativity.

"Well, you know they're all ___ers.  I'm a paycheck away from bankruptcy ( guilting me because she knows I'm listening and she's been giving me money).  You gotta do what you gotta do.  Those companies just take all your money.  The friggen co-op I'm trying to sell - all of a sudden 6 other units are up for sale.  Not only do they underbid me - you know, I'm just so beyond that.  If I find out one of these troublemaker realtors are behind this, I'm going to have to kill someone... ."

Dear lord. I had no idea about this kind of thinking and BPD until 2 weeks ago.  But now, I'm listening and I'm like WOW I can't believe I've been listening to this my entire life.

Anybody else have experience with this kind of negativity from their BPD?  How do you counter it?  How have you learned NOT to think like this yourself, and to trust people?

[HappyChappy]

You right, discovering BPD is like learning a new language. Suddenly things become clearer.

If you lie down with dogs you wake up with flees. So it's not hard to pick up the negativity. There are loads of techniques to avoid that here on this forum. Changing the topic, leaving the room, going “Yes Dear” on the phone when you’re not listening. Then there’s avoidance – live in a nice neighbourhood go LC or NC. So much choice. Have fun.