hello

[gonethistime]

I found this site after we ended, the person did so many thing I have read here... .it saddens me because I loved her, she has a lot of issues. it broke me to read whats here, we have been in NC for about a month. we actually broke up in march. Tried to be friends, you  know how that went. I still think of her everyday. there is an age difference, it took forever to feel the connection it felt like I had. when I told her not to contact me anymore she didnt even answer the text. My friends all say, you have told her you werent going to talk anymore so many times she doesnt believe you... .I really loved her. I wish she would try to call just so I'd know she missed me, but I am scared of it also. she really was the love of my life. I did not know that I was dealing with an uBPD with a big dose of narcisism on top of that. this site helps me and it hurts me, Hurts because my situation is so cliche, reading what all of you have posted... .she hasnt had her major breakdown yet, I think its coming. I'm glad this forum is here, but after so many months I still hurt. I miss the good parts, I both fear hearing from her, and not hearing from her. I have read that if she isn't totally hating you and blaming you for everything yet, she will come back. I still feel like I have lost no matter what. I feel so used, she just left so easily. I did so much for her, it would take too long to tell you all four years in one post.


thanks all at BPD family, I almost ended it twice with all the drama as this broke down, nothing has hurt so much. I'm still trying to break free, while she remains silent. I get the awful feeling something else may be about to happen... .

[Popcorn71]

Sorry you feel so hurt. I think we all go through this. It does get better though. Give it time.

I know what you mean about expecting something to happen.  Its been almost a year since I had a conversation with my ex but I have a nagging little feeling that he will contact me at some point. Maybe I am worrying about nothing. Maybe you are worrying unnecessarily too.

[BlackandBlue]

He man I just want you to know that I know what you're going through... .us the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. My ex girlfriend broke up with me unexpectedly back in much too and I tried being friends with her also and it was a lost cause. Like you I wasn't aware of BPD while I was with my ex... .Thank god for this site. You will notice that a lot of what you went through many of us did too. There seems to be a lot of things borderlines characteristically do. Stick around here... .there's tons of good info and great people. Take care of yourself.

[Infern0]

Hey mate welcome to the family.

You are not on your own in this,  we all know exactly how you feel,  it does get way better.

Right now you are in that awful jittery panic state.  This will wear off though.