How Long before They Expose Who They are

[outside9x]

Hi ,

I know this probably has many answers and not sure if this topic been covered.

I am sure many factors like how old they are, how much money their partner had , how perceptive the partner was at picking up weird statements event or actions or just brushed off the very early red flags, like no friends, or bad behavior with clerks, or friends, or how they cling and just wrapped you up completely.  I know I did!

I think for most, a lot of their explosions happen after the honeymoon stage but sometimes minor ones happen and they catch themselves that also can be masked in the beginning by drugs , and alcohol and stress level that happens at the time of the relationship.  For me, I was going through a divorce and so was she, (her third, and engaged 4 times) so I was surprised though the flags were certainly there, the raging didn't occur until after 1 year.  But lot of times she dozed off at dinner almost in mid sentence, and did that more than a few times, blamed it on stress but she stays at home.  Then slowly the Xanax , grass, Scotch, and other meds appeared.   I was told this was all due to the divorce, so I bought it.  a year after it continued.

Anyway, interested how long it lasted for you detected something really wrong, and yes, I know they are very attractive so we kinda turn our heads the other way a bit.  I know I did.

Thanks

[Arminius]

With hindsight, the fear if abandonment ( now that I know about this, from this site) presented itself on our first week away, about 4-5 months in to the r/s

I left her on a breach as I needed the bathroom. I was away longer than she wanted, and she was both angry and scared on my return. It didn't fit with the relaxed and confident persona she had portrayed until that point.

Oh, hindsight... .why don't you shout louder at the time!

[outside9x]

Wow, similar experience at the beach with her after 8 month. I was wild about her.  She was 60 at the time.  I said I had to go to the bathroom, she needed to go too.  I said I'll wait right here. (let her go first)  I did, and she couldn't find me, she went a bit nuts and told me never to do that and she looked all over and it wasn't funny.  She was very afraid, but  I never moved from the spot.  She was still shaking when we got back, I felt bad about it but didn't do anything wrong.  Never moved!