I was the first out of the shoot Foolish man. Picked her up after husband left, got her through the death of her mother, Divorce, alimony issues, dealing with her Fibromyalgia, 5 kids plus my 2 kids, 2 separate households, child visitation issues with her ex, chaos of 5 kids with vollyball and travel soccer, and I was there the whole time, even when I was dealing with my own problems from the wars, I was there as much as I could. Idealization phase 101, I was the poster child. Once she got her career going, her schedule was even worse. But yet it was my fault that we didnt spend enough time together and I think the devalue began especially when we couldnt go away as she requested before her schedule got heavy. I just couldnt afford it. I was up front with that and thats when it began in earnest. I own my parts of the failure. But then I was accused of lying, accused of thinking that her and her kids were pains in the ass and I had better things to do then be with them, yelled at for serving her kids food and breaking her pattern, yelled at for trying to put a trash can liner in, never allowed to take kids anywhere to help her out, and I still was stupid blind. On top of all the better treat me special or else threats finally broke me and I went NC. When I collected my thoughts about a week later, I was dumped and then replaced a day later. The Volley Ball thing I cant help. Its High School. My son will be driving so I dont need to go to practice and pick him up, so thats good. All I have to worry about is games and of course functions the team may have. I plan on acting as Aloof as I possible can and let my ex wife handle as much as possible(shes been fully informed, including the bad things she said about our daughter), so she's ready. This has been by far worse than my divorce and barely tolerating it.
I can imagine. Well be aloof. It's all you can do. She won't be the same. Maybe for half an hour if she is really upset about another relationship failure. But that will be it now. So if you don't have to go, don't.
My ex has smeared me and all the rest of it although I'm pretty well known and trusted in local area through my construction company and she has so far failed I'd say. Don't worry, you are not a failure in any way. She is, completely. It's going to be hard but it will get easier. She was never the right woman for you, no matter how much you miss her. It's tragic and painful but that's that it's all done now.
When you read this site especially the forum you see a huge pattern of abuse and none of us can break that pattern, that cycle. Not by wishing, not by trying and not by staying. Only by leaving can you break free of the madness and abuse.
