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Skills we were never taught
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A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
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Listen with Empathy -
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Setting Boundaries
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Author Topic: Our family is splitting up  (Read 633 times)
Googie
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: engaged for 9 years with no plans of tying the knot any time soon
Posts: 153



« on: October 04, 2014, 01:15:57 AM »

I haven't posted in a while because things have gone from bad to worse.  My fiance of 12 years is evicting myself along with my DD17 and her young sister and is fighting for sole legal custody of our 8 year old son.  My DD has proven she can not follow rules and disrupts the familyto the point that my younger daughter is having some major issues with school and experimenting with drugs.


I have no where to go and no money/  I feel like an ass because I have been seeing this outcome for 2 years.

Googie

 
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
ropend
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 86



« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2014, 01:41:11 AM »

In my opinion it sounds like you need to speak to someone at social services.
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lever.
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Posts: 717


« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2014, 02:35:39 AM »

I am so sorry Googie.

Do you feel as if your daughter's difficulties have been a major factor in this outcome?

I don't know where in the world you live-Social Services systems vary so much.

In the UK women's aid would be able to help you-both practically and with any legal issues.

How is your daughter re-acting to this situation?

How are you coping?

I am sorry that it is all having a negative effect on your younger daughter, how old is she now? Perhaps social services will help you on her account.

How do you feel about your fiancĂ© fighting for custody of your son? 
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pessim-optimist
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Gender: Female
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2537



« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2014, 09:40:25 PM »

That must be beyond stressful... .I am sorry, Googie, that this is happening... . 

First things first - what's happening right now? Is everyone safe?

Are you at your fiance's right now? How long do you have before you need to move out, if he goes through with this?

Is there a way to try to reconcile and find a better solution?

In either case, I would try to gather as much information as possible:

1. Your legal options - talking to a lawyer would be a good idea. Depending on the laws of your State, you might have certain rights depending on how long you have lived together.

2. Your livelihood if you get evicted: talk to someone in the Health and Human Services Dept. in the area where you live. There are public assistance programs. You might get immediate/temporary housing help, there are cash assistance programs, food stamps etc.

Thinking of you... .
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jellibeans
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1726



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« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2014, 08:40:19 PM »

Googie

I am so sorry thing are not going well for you. I have changed my name but I remember your story. My dd17 puts a great deal on our family and is an expert at splitting myself and my H. I also don't know where you are living but I hope you can get some legal advise. Although you are not married I think you should look at the laws regarding common law marriage. Do not move out of your home until you know your rights. That is the first thing you should do.
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jellibeans
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1726



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« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2014, 01:24:05 PM »

googie

just checking in with you... .please give update when you can.
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