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Beware of Junk Psychology... Just because it's on the Internet doesn't mean it's true. Not all blogs and online "life coaches" are reliable, accurate, or healthy for you. Remember, there is no oversight, no competency testing, no registration, and no accountability for many sites - it is up to you to qualify the resource. Learn how to navigate this complicated arena...
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Author Topic: Like recovering from a drug addiction - 2 years "BPD Sober"  (Read 502 times)
nolisan
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 332



« on: October 07, 2014, 01:01:15 AM »

Well tomorrow morning will mark the 2 year anniversary of me calmly saying "GTFO" to my ex. No contact since - not a peep either way. Thank God.

I will always love her. I loved cocaine and booze too BUT I know I can't have them in my house!

To those of you in the early days on NC stick with it. Just don't take that that first sip of BPD liquor. After a while the obsession fades ... .one day at a time.

I also want to thank BPD Family, CoDA and ACoA - I could not have done it on my own.

Noli
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ScotisGone74
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 432


« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2014, 01:58:54 AM »

Congratulations on all of your progress.   I've never been a regular user of drugs but I know that I definitely had an addiction to my exBPD.   In the beginning she was everything   

I thought I wanted, she was attractive, funny, smart , and overdosed me on compliments and sex.    The saying that ignorance is bliss must be true because I know my life would have worked a lot more smoothly for the better without having to have gotten firsthand knowledge of BPD.    I ve got one more month and I will hit the two year mark as well.   During the two years I've blocked everything , email, phone , social media.     I've not heard a peep.    I did see her close who#e associate not too long ago in a store and I ran out of that place as fast as I could push my buggy threw checkout while she was blurting questions at me across the store.   
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Pingo
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 924



« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2014, 07:21:47 AM »

Congratulations Noli!  I think you are spot on, treat it like the addiction it is.  When I understood this and what the trauma bond was between us it made things much easier to deal with and accept.  And it also made me realise how I used the trauma bond as a coping mechanism to life, not much different than other compulsions I've had over the years such as alcohol, food and drugs.
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nolisan
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« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2014, 12:30:29 PM »

I should add another 12 step fellowship that helped me in the first few months of "withdrawal" - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA).  They have great phone meetings.

I tell you ... .the withdrawal was worse than anything I had experienced with chemical addictions (booze and cocaine). I thought I was gonna die in the first week!
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outside9x
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: divorced for 2 1/2 years
Posts: 222


« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2014, 12:36:42 PM »

It sure is n takes away from my present relationship.  I have such a great pull to end my misery n reach out but I was treated so badly after several breakup the prize is not worth all that pain as well .  its still hard even with a wonderful women n that's not fair to her but it has been better on certain days. I realize the desire is my problem not my ExBPDgf.
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Waifed
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1026



« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2014, 12:55:44 PM »

Congrats Noli!
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