Confused...

[Depression = 72% of members]

Ok so my BPD ex and i have been in contact almost daily now. She texted me on sat night "its so hard not to miss you." Well since then has acted like it didnt happen by saying nothing else about it. We were actually gaining more ground in conversations but now its gone back to her asking me random questions about things i like or things we did. Then i answer but dont usually ask her anything back(I want to but 9 times out of 10 when she does this she wont respond... ) If i dont respond right away she texts me at least once or twice more... Whats up with this i miss her and i do want to talk to her about my feelings but ive told her we need to do it in person and she even offered a week ago that when she was free she would... but then i let her know im free to do something and she just goes silent. Im considering writing a letter about how i feel on a picture i drew her and giving it to her because as busy as i know she is i feel like shes avoiding this meet up... that she initiated... yet she acts like she misses me and honestly i can feel it in the connection we have. (projective identification bond) Maybe i should just text her it. Just not sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

[Chasing_Ghosts]

Ok so my BPD ex and i have been in contact almost daily now. She texted me on sat night "its so hard not to miss you." Well since then has acted like it didnt happen by saying nothing else about it. We were actually gaining more ground in conversations but now its gone back to her asking me random questions about things i like or things we did. Then i answer but dont usually ask her anything back(I want to but 9 times out of 10 when she does this she wont respond... ) If i dont respond right away she texts me at least once or twice more... Whats up with this i miss her and i do want to talk to her about my feelings but ive told her we need to do it in person and she even offered a week ago that when she was free she would... but then i let her know im free to do something and she just goes silent. Im considering writing a letter about how i feel on a picture i drew her and giving it to her because as busy as i know she is i feel like shes avoiding this meet up... that she initiated... yet she acts like she misses me and honestly i can feel it in the connection we have. (projective identification bond) Maybe i should just text her it. Just not sure what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[enlighten me]

Hi Chasing

I cant remember your story but as she is your ex what are you wanting from this. Are you wanting to be recycled? At the moment it sounds as if she is keeping her options open with you. Maybe she just wants you to validate that she's not a bad person. No one likes to know people don't like them but With BPD though its a lot stronger feeling.

You need to ask yourself where you are wanting this to go and then be realistic about how you think it will end up.

If it is that you want to be friends then ask yourself if that is really what you want and do you believe that she can be a friend or will she just use you? How mutually beneficial are any of her friendships?

If your answer is you want her back but it will end up in a mess and your heart broken then don't do it. The problem with getting over a BPD relationship is that it is an addiction. It is like giving up smoking but 10 x worse. You need to go cold turkey and stay away from temptation.

[Chasing_Ghosts]

Yea she just texted me that asking me if i loved her. I said that i never stopped when i said forever i meant it then asked if she loved me. She said of course i do. I then said where do we go from here? Im thinking she doesnt know what to say out of fear of rejection so im about to text her that i want her back... Now im more confused... And she wont answer the phone... i dont get it... .

[Mono No Aware]

Read the Lessons. Search for the phrase Push-Pull.

You have to ride the waves of the cycle, not get sucked under.