Journal entry

[Depression = 72% of members]

Journal. Why wasnt i good enough for you. Why wasnt i given a fair chance. I loved you more than you could have imagined. Why didnt you try and understand me and help me?  Why wasnt i good enough to be with you and your friends? Why am i still so sad. Thought i saw you and him and panicked.  Why? Did i not dress good enough? Was it the tattoos?  What was it that made you throw me away?  You gave reasons, but i dont believe them all. I know i could have done better if you had been honest. But because i didnt go away with you? I cried again today because i felt worthless. I felt not good enough for anyone. Im not sure what you told your friends and the new guy about why we broke up, but im sure its all me. Why?

[Deeno02]

Journal. Why wasnt i good enough for you. Why wasnt i given a fair chance. I loved you more than you could have imagined. Why didnt you try and understand me and help me?  Why wasnt i good enough to be with you and your friends? Why am i still so sad. Thought i saw you and him and panicked.  Why? Did i not dress good enough? Was it the tattoos?  What was it that made you throw me away?  You gave reasons, but i dont believe them all. I know i could have done better if you had been honest. But because i didnt go away with you? I cried again today because i felt worthless. I felt not good enough for anyone. Im not sure what you told your friends and the new guy about why we broke up, but im sure its all me. Why?

[Michael7123]

You're not worthless don't ever think like that. None of us are. People who have a lot of love to give are never worthless and you seem to be one of those people. You offered her you love and she through it away, it's her loss.

[Recooperating]

Deeno,

I cant find the thread, but isnt it your birthday today?

Happy birthday!

[Deeno02]

Thank you Recooperating.

It is my birthday and ive been in both hope to hear from her to see if i at least was still a memory and hope to not hear from her so i would not have to gain anymore pain while on my no contact. So far nothing. I guess thats a good thing. However, im sad that i didnt matter at all to her...