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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
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Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
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Topic: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks (Read 582 times)
Bak86
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
on:
October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM »
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
Logged
Tiepje3
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: divorcing
Posts: 127
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #1 on:
October 13, 2014, 10:20:13 AM »
My guess is you're doing better! Keep up the good work. My sympathy goes out to the cat
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No relationship is ever a waste of time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want.
Bak86
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #2 on:
October 13, 2014, 11:02:07 AM »
Quote from: Tiepje3 on October 13, 2014, 10:20:13 AM
My guess is you're doing better! Keep up the good work. My sympathy goes out to the cat
Yeah i am doing much better
Everybody at work today looked at her like she was nuts. They know she can't take care of herself and now she bought a cat to take care of? Haha bloody hell.
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Algae
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 208
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #3 on:
October 13, 2014, 11:28:03 AM »
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
I'm guessing Ex's with BPD don't feel anything by seeing you for the first time in 3 weeks as well?  :)id she not freak out from seeing you? Or get jealous, sad, or think of all the things you've done for her in the past?
I guess my question is... We go through the motions when we see our ex for the first time in a month or two... but do they?
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Deeno02
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #4 on:
October 13, 2014, 11:31:40 AM »
As someone explained to me, they feel it but they are so very able to compartmentalize it (tuck it away) that they really dont feel much at all.
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Algae
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 208
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #5 on:
October 13, 2014, 11:40:40 AM »
Quote from: Deeno02 on October 13, 2014, 11:31:40 AM
As someone explained to me, they feel it but they are so very able to compartmentalize it (tuck it away) that they really dont feel much at all.
Do they only get it from literally seeing us in person though? Or do they get it all the time, even from things they own of ours (presents, necklaces), and just tuck that away too though?
Logged
Bak86
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #6 on:
October 13, 2014, 11:43:15 AM »
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 11:28:03 AM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
I'm guessing Ex's with BPD don't feel anything by seeing you for the first time in 3 weeks as well?  :)id she not freak out from seeing you? Or get jealous, sad, or think of all the things you've done for her in the past?
I guess my question is... We go through the motions when we see our ex for the first time in a month or two... but do they?
She hasn't said a word to me all day long, so i guess she is affected as well. And she mentioned stuff to coworkers that only i knew about her, so she probably tried to get a reaction out of me. I simply didn't respond. And my ex is one of the best actors i've ever met. She knows to hide her feelings behind her walls/mask very well. Wouldn't surprise me if she breaks down in tears at home when nobody is looking.
Logged
Algae
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 208
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #7 on:
October 13, 2014, 06:13:34 PM »
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 11:43:15 AM
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 11:28:03 AM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
I'm guessing Ex's with BPD don't feel anything by seeing you for the first time in 3 weeks as well?  :)id she not freak out from seeing you? Or get jealous, sad, or think of all the things you've done for her in the past?
I guess my question is... We go through the motions when we see our ex for the first time in a month or two... but do they?
She hasn't said a word to me all day long, so i guess she is affected as well. And she mentioned stuff to coworkers that only i knew about her, so she probably tried to get a reaction out of me. I simply didn't respond. And my ex is one of the best actors i've ever met. She knows to hide her feelings behind her walls/mask very well. Wouldn't surprise me if she breaks down in tears at home when nobody is looking.
I guess she normally still talks to you then, even after the breakup? But since you got back she hasnt?
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Deeno02
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #8 on:
October 13, 2014, 06:30:42 PM »
Algae, starts immediately. Thats how they can move on so fast. Sucks, but nothing seems to matter at all to them. She gave back all the borrowed stuff (pots, pans etc, house key) but kept the gifts. I dont think she will even associate it with me anymore. I threw all her s**t out.
Logged
FoolishMan
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 124
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #9 on:
October 13, 2014, 06:55:37 PM »
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 11:40:40 AM
Quote from: Deeno02 on October 13, 2014, 11:31:40 AM
As someone explained to me, they feel it but they are so very able to compartmentalize it (tuck it away) that they really dont feel much at all.
Do they only get it from literally seeing us in person though? Or do they get it all the time, even from things they own of ours (presents, necklaces), and just tuck that away too though?
My ex said that she looks at my gifts "as the only good thing she got out of the R/S". Of course I had been perfect and "enchanted her life" a few days before this
Logged
Bak86
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #10 on:
October 14, 2014, 12:25:42 AM »
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 06:13:34 PM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 11:43:15 AM
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 11:28:03 AM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
I'm guessing Ex's with BPD don't feel anything by seeing you for the first time in 3 weeks as well?  :)id she not freak out from seeing you? Or get jealous, sad, or think of all the things you've done for her in the past?
I guess my question is... We go through the motions when we see our ex for the first time in a month or two... but do they?
She hasn't said a word to me all day long, so i guess she is affected as well. And she mentioned stuff to coworkers that only i knew about her, so she probably tried to get a reaction out of me. I simply didn't respond. And my ex is one of the best actors i've ever met. She knows to hide her feelings behind her walls/mask very well. Wouldn't surprise me if she breaks down in tears at home when nobody is looking.
I guess she normally still talks to you then, even after the breakup? But since you got back she hasnt?
She was even flirting with me after the breakup. When i tried to reconcile (didnt know about BPD back then) she just wanted to be friends. I told her to ___ off. She doesnt initiate any talk now. Still tries to get my attention though.
Logged
Blimblam
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2892
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #11 on:
October 14, 2014, 12:36:48 AM »
Quote from: Bak86 on October 14, 2014, 12:25:42 AM
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 06:13:34 PM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 11:43:15 AM
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 11:28:03 AM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
I'm guessing Ex's with BPD don't feel anything by seeing you for the first time in 3 weeks as well?  :)id she not freak out from seeing you? Or get jealous, sad, or think of all the things you've done for her in the past?
I guess my question is... We go through the motions when we see our ex for the first time in a month or two... but do they?
She hasn't said a word to me all day long, so i guess she is affected as well. And she mentioned stuff to coworkers that only i knew about her, so she probably tried to get a reaction out of me. I simply didn't respond. And my ex is one of the best actors i've ever met. She knows to hide her feelings behind her walls/mask very well. Wouldn't surprise me if she breaks down in tears at home when nobody is looking.
I guess she normally still talks to you then, even after the breakup? But since you got back she hasnt?
She was even flirting with me after the breakup. When i tried to reconcile (didnt know about BPD back then) she just wanted to be friends. I told her to ___ off. She doesnt initiate any talk now. Still tries to get my attention though.
And this is what it comes down to in the end they want attention. They will even hurt us to get it because they know if they hurt us they will stay in our mind.
Logged
Bak86
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 351
Re: Saw my ex for the first time in 3 weeks
«
Reply #12 on:
October 14, 2014, 03:27:51 AM »
Quote from: Blimblam on October 14, 2014, 12:36:48 AM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 14, 2014, 12:25:42 AM
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 06:13:34 PM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 11:43:15 AM
Quote from: Algae on October 13, 2014, 11:28:03 AM
Quote from: Bak86 on October 13, 2014, 09:44:12 AM
She returned from holiday and had to work today(we work together). I didn't get triggered! She didn't do anything to me. I'm so glad about this. She was even bragging about a blind date in front of coworkers, while i was sitting right next to her. So sad pwBPD try to get a reaction out of you. Didn't do anything to me luckily!
Oh and she also mentioned she bought a cat, yet when we were together she told me she disliked cats. Impulse buy?
So it will get better in time!
I'm guessing Ex's with BPD don't feel anything by seeing you for the first time in 3 weeks as well?  :)id she not freak out from seeing you? Or get jealous, sad, or think of all the things you've done for her in the past?
I guess my question is... We go through the motions when we see our ex for the first time in a month or two... but do they?
She hasn't said a word to me all day long, so i guess she is affected as well. And she mentioned stuff to coworkers that only i knew about her, so she probably tried to get a reaction out of me. I simply didn't respond. And my ex is one of the best actors i've ever met. She knows to hide her feelings behind her walls/mask very well. Wouldn't surprise me if she breaks down in tears at home when nobody is looking.
I guess she normally still talks to you then, even after the breakup? But since you got back she hasnt?
She was even flirting with me after the breakup. When i tried to reconcile (didnt know about BPD back then) she just wanted to be friends. I told her to ___ off. She doesnt initiate any talk now. Still tries to get my attention though.
And this is what it comes down to in the end they want attention. They will even hurt us to get it because they know if they hurt us they will stay in our mind.
Yeah shes always looking for attention. Not just with me. She always complains about health issues and makes bold black and white statements.
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