Broke NC, the consequences

[drummerboy]

Had to break NC to relay some important medical info to her. I had to do it through a mutual friend as we have blocked each other. A few hours later the mutual friend defriends me! God know what the BPD told her. They really are very sick people. She probably gave me an STD and she makes me out to be the bad guy!

[Blimblam]

You got that right god knows.

I'm sorry about the std.

How are you feeling?

[drummerboy]

I'm feeling a bit down but on the positive side there should be no reason to contact her ever again. We used to share a common activity but I think I'll stay away from that in case I see her. For so long I wanted to come to a place of compassion for her but now it seems that hating her into oblivion is the only way. And I'm not a hater!

You got that right god knows.

I'm sorry about the std.

How are you feeling?

[Blimblam]

I'm feeling a bit down but on the positive side there should be no reason to contact her ever again. We used to share a common activity but I think I'll stay away from that in case I see her. For so long I wanted to come to a place of compassion for her but now it seems that hating her into oblivion is the only way. And I'm not a hater!

You got that right god knows.

I'm sorry about the std.



How are you feeling?

So a bit of depression mixed with anger resentment and contempt? 

What ever it is you feel I encourage you to feel it fully. Don't act out of the anger in a hurtful way though!  Once you work through the emotions how you feel towards her will change.  There are a lot of layers to work theough

[tim_tom]

For so long I wanted to come to a place of compassion for her but now it seems that hating her into oblivion is the only way. And I'm not a hater!

I've tried for forgiveness, but I can't get there. Hating her into oblivion is coming very naturally and makes NC easy

[slimmiller]

What we dont understand sometime is we need to get the hate out before we can forgive. The last thing we want to hear when we are hurt is we 'need to have compassion' for them. This may be true but what about what is bottled up? Its ok to feel that hate and get it out. Although be careful that it gets out in such a way that no one gets hurt. I know that can be tough. For me I run or play guitar. Its my way of expressing and channel it out in a non destructive way.

As for the mutual friend thing, sorry to hear about that. As we get healthier and heal, people that are not a good part of that equation tend to drift away from us. Our persona and health gets better and to them, that does not fit

Be good to you

[camuse]

You can hate what they did while having compassion for their pain, I think. None of us is perfect, we all behave badly when under pressure sometimes, I know I have treated people poorly in the past, and I try to not do that nowadays.

I hate what mine did for me, but ultimately I just feel very sad that her life was wrecked before it really began, and that she has to live with a broken mind and empty soul until the day she dies. She gets the worse deal, ultimately.

Out experience does benefit us, in a horrible way. Theirs is just hopeless.