Why do we want them back?
Is it because of the lonely child that I see my mother in her ?
Conditioning, patterns set in our minds since birth.
Control. No matter how bad the situation is, it's 'normal' and you have some 'sort of control'.
At the very least, you know what to expect.
Is it because I have been in long term relationships with DBPD girl?
Habit, addiction, a certain level of comfort in the 'known', fear of the 'unknown'.
it is because of my addition to her because I was and still am addicted to her. she was really like a drug I do of did anything to have her.
Habit, addiction, low self-esteem / self-worth.
Programming since birth wired our brains to accept abuse and abnormal relationships.
is it because of my codependent ways.
Low self esteem low self worth, programming since birth that 'we NEED' someone (or they NEED us) deep abandonment issues (being abandoned as a child and feeling deep fear along with it)
I would love to here your stories of why you would want them back. and if we did get back with them what would happen do we feel it would last and we would be happy?
I begged mine back. Pulled out all the stops.
COMPLETELY changed 'me' to be what HE wanted.
And once again, it was not 'enough'.
I was on the brink of self destruction... .
Each time (for 3 years) we recycled... .he made ALL these promises; these tearful confessions; the BIG talk of how he was gonna do this or that... .and he did, for two weeks. NEVER EVER more than 2 weeks. (he can only keep up the lie for 2 weeks)... .then things went right back to the way they were before.
There was NO happiness. Only 'bracing for impact'.
I WAS A FOOL to beg him back in 2011.
He dropped the veil and showed me the real 'him'... .and I should have ran then.
I wasted THREE YEARS of my life, and dragged the kids thru 3 more years of heartache and misery.
One of the worst decisions of my life.
I thought I was doing "the right thing" and I listened to the wrong people.