in my head

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Almost 2 months b/u and almost 30 days NC and shes in my head. God strike me dead as I cant take this s**t anymore. I know its passing but god damn shes renting space with the replacement, in my damn head. Driving down the road crying and trying to hold back tears while the damn cable guy is here... .WTF...

[Deeno02]

Almost 2 months b/u and almost 30 days NC and shes in my head. God strike me dead as I cant take this s**t anymore. I know its passing but god damn shes renting space with the replacement, in my damn head. Driving down the road crying and trying to hold back tears while the damn cable guy is here... .WTF...

[Pingo]

Almost 2 months b/u and almost 30 days NC and shes in my head. God strike me dead as I cant take this s**t anymore. I know its passing but god damn shes renting space with the replacement, in my damn head. Driving down the road crying and trying to hold back tears while the damn cable guy is here... .WTF...

This is withdrawal.  Like any drug it's hell to go through but you will get through to the other side.  Keeping the NC is crucial.  I'm over 4 mths out now and the withdrawal symptoms are lessening.  I can go almost entire days without ruminating about him.  Some days are still hard.  I still catch myself lost in a memory or missing him and breaking down. 

Have you read the book "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" yet?  It's an awesome book many here have read. I am reading it now and finding it really helpful in getting through these difficult stages.  You can find it reviewed in the book section here.  Here's a summary of how it describes the withdrawal stage:

WITHDRAWAL--Painful Withdrawal from your lost love. The more time goes on, the more all of the needs your partner was meeting begin to impinge into your every Waking moment. You are in Writhing pain from being torn apart. You yearn, ache, and Wait for them to return. Love-withdrawal is just like Heroin Withdrawal--each involves the body’s opiate system and the same physical symptoms of intense craving. During Withdrawal, you are feeling the Wrenching pain of love-loss and separation--the Wasting, Weight loss, Wakefulness, Wishful thinking, and Waiting for them to return. You crave a love-fix to put you out of the Withdrawal symptoms.

[Deeno02]

Almost 2 months b/u and almost 30 days NC and shes in my head. God strike me dead as I cant take this s**t anymore. I know its passing but god damn shes renting space with the replacement, in my damn head. Driving down the road crying and trying to hold back tears while the damn cable guy is here... .WTF...

This is withdrawal.  Like any drug it's hell to go through but you will get through to the other side.  Keeping the NC is crucial.  I'm over 4 mths out now and the withdrawal symptoms are lessening.  I can go almost entire days without ruminating about him.  Some days are still hard.  I still catch myself lost in a memory or missing him and breaking down. 

Have you read the book "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" yet?  It's an awesome book many here have read. I am reading it now and finding it really helpful in getting through these difficult stages.  You can find it reviewed in the book section here.  Here's a summary of how it describes the withdrawal stage:

WITHDRAWAL--Painful Withdrawal from your lost love. The more time goes on, the more all of the needs your partner was meeting begin to impinge into your every Waking moment. You are in Writhing pain from being torn apart. You yearn, ache, and Wait for them to return. Love-withdrawal is just like Heroin Withdrawal--each involves the body’s opiate system and the same physical symptoms of intense craving. During Withdrawal, you are feeling the Wrenching pain of love-loss and separation--the Wasting, Weight loss, Wakefulness, Wishful thinking, and Waiting for them to return. You crave a love-fix to put you out of the Withdrawal symptoms.

Thanks Pingo. It is getting better, but sometimes I just lose it. I think its because I cant get over being tossed away like a used kleenex.  That and Im still stuck dealing wiyh her for my sons volleyball season. Got any thoughts on handling that?

[myself]

Sad and hurtful it may be, but you can look at it as a disordered person tossed you away towards your freedom. Steps you might not have taken on your own. Cry when you feel to, keep a journal, go for long walks mumbling to yourself, whatever it takes to clear this stuff out of your head.

As far as she's involved with your son's sports, can't you avoid her as much as possible? Keep your focus on your son, the team, and yourself, not her. The more you make her out to be a monster, the more of a monster she will seem. See her as someone you want nothing to do with, and act accordingly.

The more you build up your resistance to her, the less she will be able to affect you.

[Deeno02]

Sad and hurtful it may be, but you can look at it as a disordered person tossed you away towards your freedom. Steps you might not have taken on your own. Cry when you feel to, keep a journal, go for long walks mumbling to yourself, whatever it takes to clear this stuff out of your head.

As far as she's involved with your son's sports, can't you avoid her as much as possible? Keep your focus on your son, the team, and yourself, not her. The more you make her out to be a monster, the more of a monster she will seem. See her as someone you want nothing to do with, and act accordingly.

The more you build up your resistance to her, the less she will be able to affect you.

Thats the plan myself... very limited interaction if any. My ex wife said she would run interference for me. But mh msin plan is to look and feel as best as I can to show her that Im not a wreck anymore. Living a good life is the best revenge.

[myself]

That sounds like a good plan. Remember it's about you now, not her. You're not doing this to spite her, deny her, or prove to her. You're doing it so you can feel better, do better, and share a better life with your kid. In fact, the same way you'll be cheering him on, cheer yourself on. You're both going to do well and win.