What was/is your loss?

[Depression = 72% of members]

My mind... .Im not who I used to be. And she couldnt care less

[Deeno02]

My mind... .Im not who I used to be. And she couldnt care less

[Lion Fire]

I lost a dream that she created for both of us and that I bought into with full commitment... .build a home, get married, have kids, travel the world, live as soulmates, passion and companionship, friendship... .turned out it was just that- a dream, an illusion. There was no stability, the whole lot was built on quicksand. Her mercurial nature and volatile shifts made it impossible. I couldn't hold it all up. I left, the dream is dead. That's what I still mourn. I miss certain moments with her but generally my life is better. It's certainly more stable  

[crookedeuphoria]

For those that read responses by me, please bear with me. I'm aware I sound like a broken record.

I empathize and relate to everything you say about your ex. But your loss in her, isn't really about her.  It's about losing yourself. Chances are you were not whole before you met this person and the way she made you feel in the early part of the relationship was something you never felt before. It wasn't her though, it was the way she made YOU feel about YOURSELF that is so painful to lose. Most people don't see this because we focus everything on them, even after the relationship. When your self esteem is low, when your self worth is not healthy, when you are not a whole person, you may not be aware of it. The reasons may date back to your infancy or toddler years... .read more

This might be one of the most eye opening things I have ever read on this site. Thank you for this.

[fred6]

I have lost my trust for women in a romantic way. I have also temporarily lost my sanity for the time being. But hey, at least I have gained loneliness and despair to replace them.

[HopefulPapaOf2]

Loss -

My family, I considered her my closest family member. (A bond that is deeply important to me)

My son (not 100% definitely yet, but probably)

My daughter loves(loved) her, and is missing her stepmom terribly (she never even said goodbye to my daughter)

My ability to believe in someone deeply.

I believed in her, I believed that despite the rage, the abuse (physical, verbal, emotional), the horrible times, that she'd come through it - because we are family.

Myself (like many have written)

It's unbelievable now how many boundaries I've allowed to be trampled.

Looking back, it's quite a mess.

Don't know how I'll really believe in myself or someone else again. (I know it will happen, but there's a long road ahead)

Right now, there's so much internal work to be done, it's overwhelming - One day at a time.

Good luck, love, healing, and peace to you all.

[myself]

I lost a better chance with someone who could have had a better chance with me.

[SlyQQ]

My soul which is what they all want still trying to buy it back hope springs eternal

[Blimblam]

I found the compassion I had always seeked. I havnt let that go so really I lost nothing.

[Chasing_Ghosts]

I found the compassion I had always seeked. I havnt let that go so really I lost nothing.

Yea i tend to agree. I feel if anything ive gained a better understanding of myself and become more in tune with my emotions as a result especially compassion.

[Conundrum]

The sorrow here permeates as far as the eye can see... .on dark days. But when you arrive at your time of peace--as we hope for all who visit here. On that day, you will realize that you did not lose. For you never owned them. You cannot lose what you can never possess--no matter how much you try, or desire it. We were custodians of broken dolls. They need a home too.