bc i love the person i thought he was... that idea of him.
its that person im grieving... the one he pretended to be. which hes not
that person.
Yes, I understand Hurt, I did the same thing; he was also the person you pretended he was, to yourself, a fantasy. Not a stretch really, the fantasy was fueled by our hopes and dreams, a product of going all in with our hearts, not a bad thing at all, actually a great thing, we just picked the wrong people and indulged in the fantasy so strongly we created our own skewed reality. At least I did. Tell me, was he really all that good at pretending, or were there things you noticed but chose to ignore? There were plenty in my case, but I chose to hang onto the snippets of good, even as they got fewer and fewer.
he is cruel and feels no remorse.
thats who he really is. im in love with who he presented himself to be.
but i can say for sure he
only cares about his needs and his pain.
hes not thinking of what he put me through and having guilt about it.
I used to think my ex was cruel, malicious, conniving, devious, manipulative, yadda, which she could be, but upon digging, learning and accepting, it's clear that she walks a very tough road, life is very painful for her, and she's doing the best she can. That doesn't make it OK or acceptable, and I absolutely need to be somewhere else, but it just feels better in my heart to realize her intention was not to hurt me, it was to survive with the hand she'd been dealt, limited resources, and no real solutions. Acceptance of that goes a long way in detaching.
Take care of you!
