Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
July 06, 2025, 10:31:49 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Near or in break-up mode?
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
95
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account (Read 702 times)
Moselle
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1899
Every day is a gift. Live it fully
Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
«
on:
November 03, 2014, 01:07:47 PM »
Any advice?
I've refused to be drawn by her rage and have only been loving. Until today - today I've left the house and I'm just getting out of the way.
She wrote this:
"Just wanting to thank you so much for the huge efforts you're putting into
being a good father and husband. I really appreciate the time you're
spending with the girls and for the habits you're trying to instill in
them with regards to their studies. It means so much and greatly lightens
my load. Thank you for looking after the girls while I've photographed
this past week. It's been such a help. Thank you too for making efforts
to love me."
And then proceeded to absolutely go on a divorce rage in front of the children. She has been going for 1 month now, and there's no sign of the volcano plugging itself. She found my laptop unattended today and started looking at the posts on my bpdfamily account (unfortunately I had a window open) and she went stark, raving, bezerk after reading what I've written.
I choose not to take the abuse any more. I've chosen to heal from it. My children are still there in it :-(
What to do? any advice?
Logged
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
MaroonLiquid
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 1294
Re: Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
«
Reply #1 on:
November 03, 2014, 01:19:16 PM »
My wife found mine too when she kept my laptop and did the same thing. She also told her family that I've had an affair and have painted me black than before. Seen each other for 5 minutes since... .That was seven weeks ago... .I'm sorry and I feel your pain... .
Logged
Moselle
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 1899
Every day is a gift. Live it fully
Re: Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
«
Reply #2 on:
November 03, 2014, 01:38:46 PM »
Quote from: MaroonLiquid on November 03, 2014, 01:19:16 PM
I'm sorry and I feel your pain... .
Thanks Maroon liquid. It means a lot to know someone is going through the same thing. Ditto affair accusation and painted black :-(
I've chosen not let her get to me. I have my future and 3 children to think of. They are my inspiration.
Strength in your situation. We can get through this! I think
Logged
Mono No Aware
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 175
Re: Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
«
Reply #3 on:
November 03, 2014, 04:56:10 PM »
Good luck, Moselle. Be strong, be mindful, be calm. Be a mountain, and let those clouds in your life that obscure your head slowly drift away on the wind. Be yourself.
~~~~~~~~
Let this thread stand as a warning that our time on this forum must be kept Top Secret from our pwBPD. It is an unfortunate and bitter irony that the supportive resource that is most helpful to us is viewed as a stab in the back by our pwBPD.
Steps I take to ensure secrecy:
1) Never visit this site from the shared computer, only my password-locked phone or my work computer (and even then the devices are never set to remember the username & password). No browser history, NONE.
2) Never visit this site with my uBPDw in same location. No chance of her walking in on it. NONE. I post from work mostly.
3) Use throw-away email account to register, not the work or gmail accounts that show up on my phone. Nothing pops up, nothing in inbox from bpdfamily. NOTHING.
4) Username is completely alien. I have a handful of internet handles, this one is utterly different and does not connect to or hint about anything about me in real life. NOT ME.
5) Purchase resource books with cash, destroy receipts. Not "throw in wastebasket", but DESTROY as in burn or shred at work. NO CHANCE FINDING.
The mindset is:
"If there is any doubt, there is no doubt."
combined with
"Run Silent, Run Deep."
Stay undercover, my fellow Nons.
Logged
Grey Kitty
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182
Re: Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
«
Reply #4 on:
November 03, 2014, 07:19:36 PM »
I'd add to Mono No Aware's very good list:
The volunteer staff here (Moderators, Advisors, etc.) can do things to help recover from a situation like this. Get in touch with them.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
«
Reply #5 on:
November 03, 2014, 07:50:02 PM »
Use chrome as a browser.
ctrl shift N get you in incognito mode.
Leaves no trace on computer... .
Best bet is to not get caught...
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Wife went Bezerk after finding my BPDfamily account
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...