BPD and health concerns

[Sofie]

I saw a documentary yesterday about people suffering from Munchausen syndrome, and it just made me ponder a few things in my relationship with my exBPD which I would be curious to hear the reflections and experiences of others on.

On one hand, my exBPD was literally obsessed with illness - the hypochondria-run-wild was actually one of the reasons why I broke up with her. Every day she apparently suffered from a new exotic disease and I can't count the times I have spent in the ER with her due to her being convinced she was dying from some random illness. The entire staff there knew who she was and always looked so annoyed when she/we came... .again. It was so embarrassing. She was a virtual factbook of medical knowledge and spent hours and hours reading about health issues online. In retrospect, though, I really suspect her of fabricating and faking symptoms, as she really seemed to bask in the attention of medical staff.

On the OTHER hand, though, she never took what I perceived to be realistic health concerns seriously. The fact that she chain-smoked, for instance, in spite of coming from a family with rampant lung cancer. Or her maintaining an extremely unhealthy diet which I was sure would give her either diabetes or heart disease one day. Several times I urged her to get her lungs examined or her blood pressure and cholesterol checked, but there was no way in hell she was going to do that. It was as if she had no "normal" health concerns, only unrealistic and far-fetched ones.

Did any of you experience this discrepancy? To be with someone who on one hand obsesses about health, but on the other is completely oblivious to what I would consider to be "normal" health concerns? It was very strange in so many ways.

[SpringInMyStep]

Oh my exBPD wife was the same way! She doesn't work and stays home all the time, living off of her trust fund. When we were together, she spent all of her time lying on the sofa and some of it in bed! Countless days I'd come home to find the shades drawn and her hiding in the bedroom. She was tired, weak, "sick", her carpal tunnel was acting up, then she hurt her sciatica and I waited on her for almost a month while she stayed in bed the ENTIRE time. Seriously. I did everything.

I'm now convinced it was all attention-seeking behavior designed to get me to stay with her. If she appeared to need me, I'd stay. Ugh. Makes me so mad when I think about it now.

[Sofie]

I'm now convinced it was all attention-seeking behavior designed to get me to stay with her. If she appeared to need me, I'd stay. Ugh. Makes me so mad when I think about it now.

Oh, yes. I used to be so puzzled over that my exBPD apparently was able to do so many things when I wasn't around that she always needed my help to do when I WAS around. Go figure. 

[Deeno02]

I'm now convinced it was all attention-seeking behavior designed to get me to stay with her. If she appeared to need me, I'd stay. Ugh. Makes me so mad when I think about it now.

Oh, yes. I used to be so puzzled over that my exBPD apparently was able to do so many things when I wasn't around that she always needed my help to do when I WAS around. Go figure. 

Fibromyalgia and ADHD, plus depression/anxiety. Not sure how many times in 16 months I spent in Walgreens on Emergency Xanax runs as she took more than her alloted dose. flags everywhere... .

[Raybo48]

I saw a documentary yesterday about people suffering from Munchausen syndrome, and it just made me ponder a few things in my relationship with my exBPD which I would be curious to hear the reflections and experiences of others on.

On one hand, my exBPD was literally obsessed with illness - the hypochondria-run-wild was actually one of the reasons why I broke up with her. Every day she apparently suffered from a new exotic disease and I can't count the times I have spent in the ER with her due to her being convinced she was dying from some random illness. The entire staff there knew who she was and always looked so annoyed when she/we came... .again. It was so embarrassing. She was a virtual factbook of medical knowledge and spent hours and hours reading about health issues online. In retrospect, though, I really suspect her of fabricating and faking symptoms, as she really seemed to bask in the attention of medical staff.

On the OTHER hand, though, she never took what I perceived to be realistic health concerns seriously. The fact that she chain-smoked, for instance, in spite of coming from a family with rampant lung cancer. Or her maintaining an extremely unhealthy diet which I was sure would give her either diabetes or heart disease one day. Several times I urged her to get her lungs examined or her blood pressure and cholesterol checked, but there was no way in hell she was going to do that. It was as if she had no "normal" health concerns, only unrealistic and far-fetched ones.

Did any of you experience this discrepancy? To be with someone who on one hand obsesses about health, but on the other is completely oblivious to what I would consider to be "normal" health concerns? It was very strange in so many ways.

My exBPD never ever had any concerns about her health.  She chain smoked as well to the tune of 2 packs a day and  never seemed too concerned  that breast cancer could be an issue.  In fact at one time she mentioned to me she had a lump, but did nothing about it.  

She didn't have health insurance because she was in-between jobs, but she could have easily gone to the clinic to get checked out, but chose not to. When I told her I had an issue or was going to the doctor for a check up she displayed an unusual amount of jealousy (not a topic to get jealous over at all in my opinion) that I had health insurance and she didn't  Very odd.

All this coupled with the fact that she is a hardcore alcoholic who has abused her body with un godly amounts of vodka for 5 years running now.  so yea no concerns over her health what so ever.

[Sofie]

She didn't have health insurance because she was in-between jobs, but she could have easily gone to the clinic to get checked out, but chose not to. When I told her I had an issue or was going to the doctor for a check up she displayed an unusual amount of jealousy (not a topic to get jealous over at all in my opinion) that I had health insurance and she didn't  Very odd.

All this coupled with the fact that she is a hardcore alcoholic who has abused her body with un godly amounts of vodka for 5 years running now.  so yea no concerns over her health what so ever.

Right. I live in a country where healthcare is free, but I would bet that had my exBPD lived in a country where healthcare wasn't freely available, but came at some cost or effort to herself, she would not abuse the medical system in the way that I think she did. Come on, you are worried about having a tropical disease which only flourishes south of Sahara, but you never give your cholesterol a thought in spite of maintaining a diet consisting mainly of fries and cheeseburgers? Hmmmm... .

[SpringInMyStep]

I'm now convinced it was all attention-seeking behavior designed to get me to stay with her. If she appeared to need me, I'd stay. Ugh. Makes me so mad when I think about it now.

Oh, yes. I used to be so puzzled over that my exBPD apparently was able to do so many things when I wasn't around that she always needed my help to do when I WAS around. Go figure. 

Right! Mine would do things only if they benefitted her directly and if not, she'd let me do everything and feign illness so I'd have to. I even fractured my shoulder about a year ago and she still didn't really help me out!

[Bak86]

What my ex had/claimed to have:

- Asthma

- Allergic to shampoo/deoderant

- Allergic to mosquito's

- Aenemia

- Claustrophobia

- Always tired

- Headaches

- Bad cramps

List goes on and on

[Pingo]

Although I have no reason to believe my exh made anything up, he did have ailments that definitely affected our lives.  9 mths into the r/s he became injured with a job-related injury and had to go off work.  I was happy to help him out while he recovered and he moved in with me (that's when I became 'caretaker' full time )... .3 yrs later and him apparently recovered, I was pushing him to go back to work (for a long time) and he came up with many excuses and then next thing he's in the hospital with a slipped disc in his back... .there were many other ailments in between, many I believe to induce pity from people, including me.  He took pretty good care of himself otherwise, didn't smoke or drink and ate what I fed him which was always healthy.

My uBPD Mom, who is so much like my ex, was definitely a hypochondriac, obsessing over illness after illness.  In the mean time, she has an eating disorder, dieting to extremes and never exercising.  She used to smoke but quit and she drinks a lot.  Yet cannot see the correlation between her nutrition and her health issues.