Would you reply?

[Depression = 72% of members]

A friend of mine was talking the other day about his relationship breakdown, how is (assumed to be non) ex had cheated, etc - and then sent a message years later with the usual 'Oh, I'm so sorry, can we meet?' bull. Anyway, he said that he didn't reply - that was such a boost, it was a triumph for me because it reflects in the no-contact/Borderline situation. He said to me: "J, one day you'll get that email," and I think, even though his wasn't strictly a BPD breakup, he's right, and I will. I almost certainly would not reply if my diagnosed-Borderline ex contacted me (via, say, email) because for me the book is closed, she's mentally ill and she's going to struggle with that for the rest of her life. So would you reply if they broke the NC; what would you say?

[allweareisallweare]

A friend of mine was talking the other day about his relationship breakdown, how is (assumed to be non) ex had cheated, etc - and then sent a message years later with the usual 'Oh, I'm so sorry, can we meet?' bull. Anyway, he said that he didn't reply - that was such a boost, it was a triumph for me because it reflects in the no-contact/Borderline situation. He said to me: "J, one day you'll get that email," and I think, even though his wasn't strictly a BPD breakup, he's right, and I will. I almost certainly would not reply if my diagnosed-Borderline ex contacted me (via, say, email) because for me the book is closed, she's mentally ill and she's going to struggle with that for the rest of her life. So would you reply if they broke the NC; what would you say?

[peiper]

No I wouldn't reply. I've done that before and all I got was more misery.

[christoff522]

Possibly. Never say never. But I wouldn't for a very very long time. If she messages me today, no reply. If she does in say, a year... perhaps.

[Aussie JJ]

I have to, we have a son together.  It is about being nuteral, not letting those actions have an effect on you.  If your capable of this then why not, emotionally detached you can. 

I have to ask though, why?

[Aussie0zborn]

I wouldn't reply - not this year, not next year, not in in ten years from now. The brutal and callous discard cleared the FOG for me. Any contact would only be to make her feel better about herself and not for my benefit at all. 

I've had enough of crazy to last me a lifetime and after a brutal discard I wouldn't give her the opportunity to feel good about herself. Her happiness is not my responsibility anymore.

[Raybo48]

I didn't reply on Sunday when she called twice and texted me.  It felt pretty good to keep my power instead of giving it up like I did 99.9% of the time before.