UBPDexbf failed working with children check

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Am annoyed and frustrated because ex has set up business as a personal trainer doing boot camp sessions in his own gym. He offers child minding for the morning sessions, not sure who is providing it but I do know he was turned down for a WWC clearance (required in Australia for anyone having contact with children either voluntary or unpaid) If he is not considered fit to work with kids why should he have access to his own kid unsupervised. I know in many ways I would just be making my own life harder if he could only have supervised access but I am tired of dealing with him and his dysfunctional behaviour. Just venting. I don't think there is any real answer to this

[newlyhopeful]

Am annoyed and frustrated because ex has set up business as a personal trainer doing boot camp sessions in his own gym. He offers child minding for the morning sessions, not sure who is providing it but I do know he was turned down for a WWC clearance (required in Australia for anyone having contact with children either voluntary or unpaid) If he is not considered fit to work with kids why should he have access to his own kid unsupervised. I know in many ways I would just be making my own life harder if he could only have supervised access but I am tired of dealing with him and his dysfunctional behaviour. Just venting. I don't think there is any real answer to this

[clljhns]

Hi newlyhopeful,

Is there a visitation plan in place? I apologize if you have already posted this information before, but I am afraid that I can't offer any suggestions without knowing the back story.

You state that Australia has strict provisions for any adult being unsupervised with children, can you call this authority and share your concerns?

Please keep posting. We are here to listen and offer support.

Peace and blessings. 

[newlyhopeful]

Thanks clljhns, he currently has her 2 days a week .and for the most part is a fairly responsible dad although he is thoughtless and reckless at times, for example letting her ride a quad bike without a helmet. The working with children laws are to protect kids in situations where they have been abused in the past. I just feel stuck that apparantley his character isn't good enough for him to look after other peoples kids but no one questions his right to look after his own. Also I have very little family support, if I stopped him looking after her I would probably have to give up work.

[clljhns]

Hi newlyhopeful,

So it is dad who cannot look after other peoples children? What happened that put him in this position? Are there other family members or friends that could help with child care? Does Australia have programs to help moms in your situation? In US, we have free daycare to working mom's whose income is too low to pay for child care. I don't know your situation, but it might be worth looking into.

Do you suspect that dad is a BPD? Are you in contact with legal counsel?

Peace and blessings. 

[newlyhopeful]

Yes am almost sure her dad is BPD. I have child care but I work shifts. Childcare doesn't cover weekends or evenings/nights. I think he has more of a criminal record than he has disclosed to me and also faced charges over negligently but not deliberately hurting his son, who he had with a former partners.I haven't consulted a lawyer as I think that may cause more trouble with him. I was hoping he would lose interest in being a dad as so many of them seem to do

[Aussie JJ]

newlyhopeful,

legalaid?

I'm on the opposite end in Australia with my exBPD controlling 100% of our sons time and being a right arse about it.  I've recently escalated to try and get more time with our sona nd she has put in a intervention order etc and on it goes  . 

There is the family relationship helpline.  Free service that provides some insight into the process in Austrlaia. 

I would recomend, document, document, docuement.  Then some more. 


AJJ.