need to vent

[Depression = 72% of members]

Don't really know why I'm posting this, I just think I feel the need to vent it was such a weird happening. So ... .I have had little to no contact with ex dil for a few years now since having multiple episodes of being painted black and having a face to face with her where she apologized for her 10 years worth of rude and disrespectful behavior towards me only to get furious when I wouldn't do as she asked ie  ask son (her ex) to stop seeing new girlfriend.  I was polite but said I couldn't tell him how to run his life. I decided it was better for 11 year old gd not to have to deal with constant hateful comments about me so let gf do communication.

My theory hasn't worked so of late thought perhap she feels rejected so maybe if I do some of the communication she might improve and feel better.  I have been doing the texting re gd. However last night when we delivered gd home and exdil was late I just said "not to worry not a problem" all I received was this amazing insolent look that was totally weird coming from a 41   year old woman.  She didn't speak to me just gave me the look!   It was like having a 13 year old  in front of me. As I said I don't know why I am saying this except you really are the only people who understand and do I keep persisting? 

[mother in law]

Don't really know why I'm posting this, I just think I feel the need to vent it was such a weird happening. So ... .I have had little to no contact with ex dil for a few years now since having multiple episodes of being painted black and having a face to face with her where she apologized for her 10 years worth of rude and disrespectful behavior towards me only to get furious when I wouldn't do as she asked ie  ask son (her ex) to stop seeing new girlfriend.  I was polite but said I couldn't tell him how to run his life. I decided it was better for 11 year old gd not to have to deal with constant hateful comments about me so let gf do communication.

My theory hasn't worked so of late thought perhap she feels rejected so maybe if I do some of the communication she might improve and feel better.  I have been doing the texting re gd. However last night when we delivered gd home and exdil was late I just said "not to worry not a problem" all I received was this amazing insolent look that was totally weird coming from a 41   year old woman.  She didn't speak to me just gave me the look!   It was like having a 13 year old  in front of me. As I said I don't know why I am saying this except you really are the only people who understand and do I keep persisting? 

[clljhns]

Hi mother in law,

I am sorry to hear that you are caught in such a painful situation with your exdil. I think that you have a very good understanding of what you are dealing with dil.

It was like having a 13 year old  in front of me.

Knowing that she operates from a place of immaturity gives you insight, but doesn't change the frustration and pain in having to confront her behavior. Have you read any of the articles on communicating with a BPD?  You might find this helpful. https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation

Your question of

do I keep persisting? 

Can you tell us a little more about this? What is it you are questioning whether you should keep doing or not?

Peace and blessings. 

[funfunctional]

MIL

I think it's all come together for you MIL and you have been tolerating so much and FINALLY realize just how wrong your x dil behavior has been.  I went on for 3 years doing the eggshell walk and "nicey nice" and BPD sister just got nastier and nastier.    She picked fights with me and I finally stepped back and am NC with her.     It is bittersweet being NC but I am more at peace.   

Sounds like x dil needs to understand that she can't control what your son does anymore.    That was all over with the divorce.    Wow!

Venting is good.