Hello everyone, I haven't visited since 2010. Back then I was dealing with being NC with my uBPDm for 4 years, with all the guilt, confusion and pain from growing up with that kind of mother. One thing that helped back then was my common-law spouse who was a recovering alcoholic. We worked the steps together, the relationship was rocky sometimes but I had always assumed it was because we were both trying to recover from our respective childhood traumas. 4 years later we now own a duplex and after what I'm calling the worst year of my life, I finally decided to leave the relationship. To say he didn't take it well would be an understatement. I got suicide threats, uncontrollable sobbing, hostility... .On Saturday he's unfriending me from Facebook and tells me we can never be friends, on Sunday he making suicide threats, then ask me to marry him, then he wants to babysit my dog when I out... .Sounds familiar ? Then, after some soul searching from his part he tells me he thinks he has BPD. At first I wasn't sure, after all he has a very good job, he's been there almost 8 years and he's very good at what he does, he even got promoted twice.He's well liked by his coworkers and has friends.And there is the stereotype about BPD to be more affecting females than males. But after reading about it and talking some more with my ex, it was a
moment. Turns out the BPD was well hidden behind his alcoholism and his chronic pain but it had been there all along. Unfortunately, unlike with my mother, being NC is not an option this time. My mother lives in another city, it was easy to just not go there. My ex lives downstairs, we share the yard and the basement. And selling is not an option until at least 8 months or I will lose too much money, I just can't afford that. So I'm reacquainting myself with the tools and getting online therapy. I'm taking care of myself and getting support is important to me right now. Thank you for being there
