I did it

[lovethebeach]

Today, I finally mailed all of his belongings back! He had sent me money to do so about a month ago, but didnt care when he get anything back. I got into a car accident, had a death in the family and have been so busy ... .I just couldn't look at it anymore.

I had originally wanted to keep one of his sweatshirts... .as he said I could when we were still speaking. But, I remember he always used to keep a shirt at my apartment during college ... .a reason to contact me (a door left open). I didn't want him to interpret me keeping the sweatshirt as such and so I mailed back all of his things. I hope that was the right decision? I think so.

I'm sad... .but I also feel like a weight has been lifted.

I think after one month, I have finally hit acceptance. We haven't spoken since his cold and distant ways after my accident and I'm alright with that. I refuse to reach out to someone who could act that way.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him though... .my mind keeps replaying one year ago... .when it was his first day in basic training and how upset I was that we couldn't speak yet supportive. I wrote him a letter a day .

Its crazy how much things change in a year... .Tomorrow I pick up my new car and next week I start my new job.

Maybe in a way ... .things are looking up.

What do you think?

[Deeno02]

Today, I finally mailed all of his belongings back! He had sent me money to do so about a month ago, but didnt care when he get anything back. I got into a car accident, had a death in the family and have been so busy ... .I just couldn't look at it anymore.

I had originally wanted to keep one of his sweatshirts... .as he said I could when we were still speaking. But, I remember he always used to keep a shirt at my apartment during college ... .a reason to contact me (a door left open). I didn't want him to interpret me keeping the sweatshirt as such and so I mailed back all of his things. I hope that was the right decision? I think so.

I'm sad... .but I also feel like a weight has been lifted.

Big step for you girlie! I remember when you first came on here, your getting there!

I think after one month, I have finally hit acceptance. We haven't spoken since his cold and distant ways after my accident and I'm alright with that. I refuse to reach out to someone who could act that way.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him though... .my mind keeps replaying one year ago... .when it was his first day in basic training and how upset I was that we couldn't speak yet supportive. I wrote him a letter a day .

Its crazy how much things change in a year... .Tomorrow I pick up my new car and next week I start my new job.

Maybe in a way ... .things are looking up.

What do you think?

[Deeno02]

Today, I finally mailed all of his belongings back! He had sent me money to do so about a month ago, but didnt care when he get anything back. I got into a car accident, had a death in the family and have been so busy ... .I just couldn't look at it anymore.

I had originally wanted to keep one of his sweatshirts... .as he said I could when we were still speaking. But, I remember he always used to keep a shirt at my apartment during college ... .a reason to contact me (a door left open). I didn't want him to interpret me keeping the sweatshirt as such and so I mailed back all of his things. I hope that was the right decision? I think so.

I'm sad... .but I also feel like a weight has been lifted.

Big step for you girlie! I remember when you first came on here, your getting there!

I think after one month, I have finally hit acceptance. We haven't spoken since his cold and distant ways after my accident and I'm alright with that. I refuse to reach out to someone who could act that way.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him though... .my mind keeps replaying one year ago... .when it was his first day in basic training and how upset I was that we couldn't speak yet supportive. I wrote him a letter a day .

Its crazy how much things change in a year... .Tomorrow I pick up my new car and next week I start my new job.

Maybe in a way ... .things are looking up.

What do you think?

Epic fail on my response. Your doing great! I remember when you first gone on here and boy, this is huge for you! Well done!

[lovethebeach]

I'm really trying! It definitely isn't easy but I'm gonna keep moving forward ...

How are you Deeno?

[Deeno02]

I'm really trying! It definitely isn't easy but I'm gonna keep moving forward ...

How are you Deeno?

Im good. Almost 3 months in and doing better. Sure has been a hell of a ride for this 51y/o... .

Glad you took this big step... .

[lovethebeach]

Keep it up! I know the feeling. I can't wait to be three months in... .looking forward to him not being my first and last thought.

[Deeno02]

Keep it up! I know the feeling. I can't wait to be three months in... .looking forward to him not being my first and last thought.

That is a good part. Less and less thoughts. I dont cringe when her name is mentioned anymore!... .

[lovethebeach]

I'm still sad. Mailing his things back makes it more real? Easier and harder at the same time?

[seeking balance]

I'm still sad. Mailing his things back makes it more real? Easier and harder at the same time?

This is normal - honestly.

The phases of grief are not linear and really over means really having to feel it - this is hard work.

You did do the right thing for your journey and your healing.  I know this is super sad right now, even with the weight lifted.  Be very kind to yourself, sounds like you have been through a lot... .treat yourself the way you would a best friend who told you the same story.

Simple things:

eat healthy, exercise, sleep, be around healthy for you people... .

Peace,

SB

[Caredverymuch]

Today, I finally mailed all of his belongings back! He had sent me money to do so about a month ago, but didnt care when he get anything back. I got into a car accident, had a death in the family and have been so busy ... .I just couldn't look at it anymore.

I had originally wanted to keep one of his sweatshirts... .as he said I could when we were still speaking. But, I remember he always used to keep a shirt at my apartment during college ... .a reason to contact me (a door left open). I didn't want him to interpret me keeping the sweatshirt as such and so I mailed back all of his things. I hope that was the right decision? I think so.

I'm sad... .but I also feel like a weight has been lifted.

Big step for you girlie! I remember when you first came on here, your getting there!

I think after one month, I have finally hit acceptance. We haven't spoken since his cold and distant ways after my accident and I'm alright with that. I refuse to reach out to someone who could act that way.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him though... .my mind keeps replaying one year ago... .when it was his first day in basic training and how upset I was that we couldn't speak yet supportive. I wrote him a letter a day .

Its crazy how much things change in a year... .Tomorrow I pick up my new car and next week I start my new job.

Maybe in a way ... .things are looking up.

What do you think?

 

Epic fail on my response. Your doing great! I remember when you first gone on here and boy, this is huge for you! Well done!

This is huge for you both. I recall both of your original posts and its wonderful to see how far into healing you are getting on this thread.

I know how difficult this journey is and the process is not always linear but we move forward together on this board. Read back on your earlier posts. Continue to recognize how valued you are and how far you are coming into better days ahead 

[Deeno02]

Today, I finally mailed all of his belongings back! He had sent me money to do so about a month ago, but didnt care when he get anything back. I got into a car accident, had a death in the family and have been so busy ... .I just couldn't look at it anymore.

I had originally wanted to keep one of his sweatshirts... .as he said I could when we were still speaking. But, I remember he always used to keep a shirt at my apartment during college ... .a reason to contact me (a door left open). I didn't want him to interpret me keeping the sweatshirt as such and so I mailed back all of his things. I hope that was the right decision? I think so.

I'm sad... .but I also feel like a weight has been lifted.

Big step for you girlie! I remember when you first came on here, your getting there!

I think after one month, I have finally hit acceptance. We haven't spoken since his cold and distant ways after my accident and I'm alright with that. I refuse to reach out to someone who could act that way.

Doesn't mean I don't miss him though... .my mind keeps replaying one year ago... .when it was his first day in basic training and how upset I was that we couldn't speak yet supportive. I wrote him a letter a day .

Its crazy how much things change in a year... .Tomorrow I pick up my new car and next week I start my new job.

Maybe in a way ... .things are looking up.

What do you think?

 

Epic fail on my response. Your doing great! I remember when you first gone on here and boy, this is huge for you! Well done!

This is huge for you both. I recall both of your original posts and its wonderful to see how far into healing you are getting on this thread.

I know how difficult this journey is and the process is not always linear but we move forward together on this board. Read back on your earlier posts. Continue to recognize how valued you are and how far you are coming into better days ahead  

Thanks Cared! It has definitely been an experience for this old guy. I have had my moments, but i recognized what our r/s was about... .her. The bad thing is trying to become a caring, loving man again like i was before and during the r/s. Thst was taken from me and, with my T, I hope to get that back again!

[Pingo]

Lovethebeach, good for you to take that step which symbolises moving forward!  I know you are sad and that's to be expected.  I mailed the last of the things I had of my ex a couple weeks ago and I also shredded all cards & letters.  Releasing the past and taking steps to heal. 

[Deeno02]

Lovethebeach, good for you to take that step which symbolises moving forward!  I know you are sad and that's to be expected.  I mailed the last of the things I had of my ex a couple weeks ago and I also shredded all cards & letters.  Releasing the past and taking steps to heal. 

It definetly felt good throwing out all her ___ she bought me... .

[Pingo]

Lovethebeach, good for you to take that step which symbolises moving forward!  I know you are sad and that's to be expected.  I mailed the last of the things I had of my ex a couple weeks ago and I also shredded all cards & letters.  Releasing the past and taking steps to heal. 

It definetly felt good throwing out all her ___ she bought me... .

Yup!  I felt a little more empowered!