as BPDex thinketh

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Last night I re-read "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen.

It was written in 1902; I believe I was in high school the first time I read it & have probably read it over 20 times since.

There have been times when I've implemented it's teaching in my life and other times when my thought were too preoccupied with work, bills, taking care of a baby and a million other things. 

I firmly believe our thoughts, intent, hopes, dreams, prayers or whatever you'd like to call it forms the reality we experience on a daily basis.

In the two months since our break I've had thoughts of pain, sorrow, disappointment, remorse and even anger run wild in my head searching for an answer, a justification or a cure to my misery.

In all honesty the end result is; it's gotten me nowhere.

Recently I've decided to once again read daily affirmations, be mindful of my thought process and control my inner dialog making sure it's healthy, productive and meaningful.

As I've told many people on these boards several times; you can't control the moods, thoughts and words of your ex because they themselves can't even do that but you can control yours.

I've pleaded and begged her to realize that I'm a good person who helps his friends and neighbors, I love her and my family more than anything in the world and we truly were happy together.

I've done so because of her negative interpretations or misguided beliefs in an effort to be painted white again. In doing so I somewhat started to believe that if someone I love so much and once love me so much thinks these horrible things about me at least part of it must be true.

This way of thinking is a recipe for self-disaster and quite similar to the thought process of someone with BPD (perhaps it's contagious?) 

Jumping up and down trying to tell her (or remind her) how kind and loving a person I am, how much I love her and my family falls on deaf ears and has gotten me nowhere. 

Today I affirm that I will be independent of the good opinions of my ex and I will show her not tell her who I am.

The old saying goes: "Actions speak louder than words"

[BrokenFamily]

Last night I re-read "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen.

It was written in 1902; I believe I was in high school the first time I read it & have probably read it over 20 times since.

There have been times when I've implemented it's teaching in my life and other times when my thought were too preoccupied with work, bills, taking care of a baby and a million other things. 

I firmly believe our thoughts, intent, hopes, dreams, prayers or whatever you'd like to call it forms the reality we experience on a daily basis.

In the two months since our break I've had thoughts of pain, sorrow, disappointment, remorse and even anger run wild in my head searching for an answer, a justification or a cure to my misery.

In all honesty the end result is; it's gotten me nowhere.

Recently I've decided to once again read daily affirmations, be mindful of my thought process and control my inner dialog making sure it's healthy, productive and meaningful.

As I've told many people on these boards several times; you can't control the moods, thoughts and words of your ex because they themselves can't even do that but you can control yours.

I've pleaded and begged her to realize that I'm a good person who helps his friends and neighbors, I love her and my family more than anything in the world and we truly were happy together.

I've done so because of her negative interpretations or misguided beliefs in an effort to be painted white again. In doing so I somewhat started to believe that if someone I love so much and once love me so much thinks these horrible things about me at least part of it must be true.

This way of thinking is a recipe for self-disaster and quite similar to the thought process of someone with BPD (perhaps it's contagious?) 

Jumping up and down trying to tell her (or remind her) how kind and loving a person I am, how much I love her and my family falls on deaf ears and has gotten me nowhere. 

Today I affirm that I will be independent of the good opinions of my ex and I will show her not tell her who I am.

The old saying goes: "Actions speak louder than words"