prayers/positive thoughts requested

[Depression = 72% of members]

My uBPDw goes to our family doc tomorrow for her checkup.  A few weeks ago I talked to the doc about the situation and she fully understands.  The doc is going to try to get my wife back on Cymbalta, which she took herself off of about a year ago.  Things have gotten steadily worse since then.  I would appreciate any kind of prayers, good thoughts, positive harmonic vibes, a disturbance in the Force, whatever you want to send our way, that things go well tomorrow and she listens to the doc.  I tend towards prayer myself, but at this point I'm not picky 

[jedimaster]

My uBPDw goes to our family doc tomorrow for her checkup.  A few weeks ago I talked to the doc about the situation and she fully understands.  The doc is going to try to get my wife back on Cymbalta, which she took herself off of about a year ago.  Things have gotten steadily worse since then.  I would appreciate any kind of prayers, good thoughts, positive harmonic vibes, a disturbance in the Force, whatever you want to send our way, that things go well tomorrow and she listens to the doc.  I tend towards prayer myself, but at this point I'm not picky 

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[flowerpath]

Praying that all will go well, jedimaster.

[Cat Familiar]

  Hugs and prayers, Jedimaster.

[jedimaster]

At this moment we are sitting in the waiting room.  She has already seen the doc and we are waiting for her mother to finish her appointment.  She said her appointment went well but has not mentioned anything about new meds.  I'm just going to be patient and not let on.  Eventually she will either say something or I will see her meds around the house.  Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.

[Restored2]

Prayers lifted up through Jesus to God Almighty, jedimaster!  May there be truth and revelation that comes forth.

[jedimaster]

Well she left her paperwork out and if the doc discussed it with her it was off the record. No Rx for Cymbalta that I could see.    She could have forgotten or just didn't get a good opportunity, so I'll just be patient.  Our son has an appointment next week and she will be taking him, so there's still hope.  If not we'll just keep up the good fight without benefit of medication until another time.  Not giving up hope! 

[Jessica84]

I forgot why she decided to go off the Cymbalta? Bad side effects? Sounds like it was helping her, at least with her BPD symptoms.

[michel71]

PRAYERS. And hugs too!

[jedimaster]

I forgot why she decided to go off the Cymbalta? Bad side effects? Sounds like it was helping her, at least with her BPD symptoms.

Because she wanted to, basically.    She decided she needed to "cleanse" herself of too many medications and not be dependent on pills the rest of her life.  Also, she was prescribed Cymbalta for fibromyalgia, and her symptoms had largely ceased because she lost a huge amount of weight.  (She had gastric bypass surgery in 2011 and it was amazingly successful.  She lost over 280 lbs and began running and working out. She looks great and her health is markedly improved).  The fact that Cymbalta made it possible to live with her was a beneficial side effect.

So now that she has "cleansed" herself, she only takes Topamax daily for migraines (just raised her dose, will probably take for life), Maxalt PRN for migraines the Topamax doesn't prevent, synthroid for hypothyroidism (lifetime), an IBS medication, and a multivitamin due to the GB (again for life).  But she is "living clean" because she no longer takes Cymbalta.   

I think she craves the emotional intensity she gets without it, even though it is destructive to her and everyone around her.

[jedimaster]

Interesting update to this thread.  I was disappointed in how the doctor visit went.  Not sure if the doc forgot or if there just wasn't a good opportunity to bring up the subject.  However, yesterday afternoon I got a random text message from a lifelong family friend, said only, "Praying for you!"

Not knowing what it was about, I sent back, "Thanks, I can always use prayers!" To which he replied, "If you need anything, just call."

Odd, I thought, but he's the kind of person who might do something like that just because someone is on his mind.

So today I talked to my parents for a bit and mentioned the text.  They have really become my lifelines with this and I have given them permission to discuss my wife with anyone they feel could help and can keep confidence.  Turns out my mother had visited this friend on another matter and took him into her confidence.  She said she had no more than mentioned our names and what is going on, when the friend said, "I can imagine! I've known for years that woman's crazy!"  Maybe not the most sensitive way to say it, but just goes to show she's not fooling anyone except herself.

So my support team is growing even when I don't realize it.  I will get the doctor on board eventually as well; just a matter of time.

[Jessica84]

She craves the emotional intensity? I thought borderlines hated that feeling and did almost anything to escape it?

I wonder if part of her feels an identity loss after losing so much weight? BPs struggle with identity as it is. She has to feel like a completely different person. I also wonder if she feels like she has worked harder to change than you have - may be why she keeps saying YOU need to see the light and change YOUR ways? I'm only guessing here... .I try not to get too deep into the mind of a BP... .scary in there 

Glad you have a strong support system. Good luck getting the doctor on board!

Sending prayers your way

[jedimaster]

She craves the emotional intensity? I thought borderlines hated that feeling and did almost anything to escape it?

Strange as it sounds, I think in a sense she does.  She has quite a bit of NPD tendencies as well, and would rather feel pain than to feel as if nobody was paying attention to her.  Also she has quite a bit of ADD tendencies.  I suspect that just like anything else that didn't/doesn't satisfy her inner needs, the calm levelheadedness she had while on Cymbalta grew boring, and she needed the attention she gets from dysregulation.  She constantly criticizes others for creating drama while creating mountains of it herself.  I think after 4-5 years of a happy marriage she'd had all the normalcy she could tolerate

What she doesn't know is that now that I understand more about the situation, I am dialing back the drama as fast as I can learn how.  I have been warned by my psych to expect her to ratchet things up when she figures out she's not getting the reactions she once was.  We'll see.

[Grey Kitty]

She craves the emotional intensity? I thought borderlines hated that feeling and did almost anything to escape it?

I would say that a pwBPD is fighting to balance themselves on the edge of a razor blade, with a fear of abandonment on one side and a fear of engulfment on the other side. And usually they fall off and react wildly to one of those fears... .until the other one suddenly becomes bigger and scarier again.

Anybody who was raised with all that drama/intensity, and then got into romantic relationships with it, whether pwBPD, non-, whatever will pretty readily fall into it again and again, because it feels 'normal' or 'comfortable' to them.

the friend said, "I can imagine! I've known for years that woman's crazy!"

As I've taken people into confidence about the troubles I'm having with my wife, I'm hearing lots of people who aren't very surprised... .at least that we've been having troubles.

When it comes to people who are mentally ill... .there is a veneer of normalcy over top of it, and a large percentage of people nearby see that something likes underneath. It is reassuring to see how many of them do.