- Feelings were hurt if I didn't hold her hand when we went shopping together... .even at the grocery store
I had an AFFAIR with mine and he was STILL hurt if I didn't want to hold his hand or kiss him in public IN TOWN! I mean really hurt, tears in the eyes hurt. He'd tell me he understood why we needed to act "like friends" at times like that - till the next time it happened of course.
Every once in awhile the word "delusional" would flash across my brain, but I dismissed it.
And here's another story, 2 distinct times I remember but I'm sure it happened more than that:
- Before we were dating, when we really were "just" friends... .I was sitting at my desk one morning at home, getting some quotes out before heading to my part time job. I used to chat with a few people online occasionally so I typically had iChat open. He came online and asked what I was doing. When I told him, he said, but I made pancakes for you. Remember, we were having breakfast? (at his place). I had NO recollection of that, but everyone forgets now and then. I apologized for forgetting and asked if I could do a rain check as I really needed to get the quotes out and get to work. He got really agitated and I couldn't talk him out of it. I really feel this incident set the whole tone of the following years with him, but I really felt bad that I forgot (I now realize I didn't forget anything, he made it all up). I ended up going over there, all was well with him and I barely made it to work on time. This would've been late 2006.
Fast forward 2 years to late 2008. My exh had just moved out of the house and I was trying to rediscover myself after 2 years of being pushed and pulled all over. I was hoping that "belonging" to the exbf would settle him down more - this was 6 months before I learned of BPD. Just day to day activities were not easy for me, exh was still in a lot of contact with me and exbf also wanted ALL my time. I get home from work and field a very angry call from him, after he learns I just want to hang out at home - alone. He tells me that he had put pizza in the oven, enough for both of us, and it would be ruined if I didn't get over there asap. In addition, not going over there would prove that I had no care for him. Again I tried to get out of it but there was no reasoning with him (I lived many days and nights telling myself "there's always tomorrow". It takes me 10 minutes to drive over there, and those pizzas take 10 minutes to bake. I pack up and head out. His front door is unlocked and he's in the shower. I check on the pizza expecting it to be ready to come out of the oven. THEY WERE STILL FROZEN! He had just put them in before getting in the shower, well AFTER we hung up. I questioned him on it when he got out of the shower, realizing he had completely lied to me that time, but he just brushed it off.
