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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Red flags  (Read 784 times)
mywifecrazy
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Picking myself off the canvas for the last time!


« Reply #30 on: December 12, 2014, 07:36:33 AM »

For me the biggest    that I ignored and the one that all the other     Revolved around:

*Stories of being abused... .Sexually, physically and emotionally by family and others. This was/is her main weapon to manipulate people into thinking she's a poor damsel in distress. I was young and naive and bought it hook line and sinker. I just didn't think a person would lie about such a thing. Boy was I wrong! When I first discovered bpdfamily My jaw dropped when I read story after story so similar to my experience.

MWC... .Being cool (click to insert in post)
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The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. (Psalm 34:18, 19)
Tater tot
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« Reply #31 on: December 12, 2014, 08:06:00 PM »

For me the biggest    that I ignored and the one that all the other     Revolved around:

*Stories of being abused... .Sexually, physically and emotionally by family and others. This was/is her main weapon to manipulate people into thinking she's a poor damsel in distress. I was young and naive and bought it hook line and sinker. I just didn't think a person would lie about such a thing. Boy was I wrong! When I first discovered bpdfamily My jaw dropped when I read story after story so similar to my experience.

MWC... .Being cool (click to insert in post)

My ex also spoke about abuse, not his own, but his child's at the hands of his father. While it was truthful, the fact that he shared that information with 24 hours was a flag. It also was a powerful disclosure that really tugged at my heart and made me feel so much empathy for what he and his child had been through.
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power thru

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« Reply #32 on: December 13, 2014, 02:46:37 PM »

Wow, thinking back I must have been completely insane to have just dismissed the signs. Intuition was always there but I chose to ignore. Some of mine were... .

-  Family abuse, both sexual and physical

-  Making me promise to everything she said "you promise you will always love me?"

-  Falling in love way to quickly

-  Telling me I was the best lover she ever had

-  The greatest porn star sex right out of the gate... .willing to do anything! I have to admit this was flattering but questionable at the same time.

-  Coming home everyday with a story about how everyone at work hates her and is out to get her. (at three different jobs I might add)

-  Constant ailments that are incurable

-  No female friends, all male. Says she cant really relate to females... .hmmmm

-  just about anytime she went out to the store by herself, she told me that some guy tried to hit on her... .almost as if to try and make me jealous

-  When I first met her she said she hated drama... .hahahaha... .wow... .totally missed the mark on that one.

-  Abusive, cheating ex's

-  Feelings were hurt if I didn't hold her hand when we went shopping together... .even at the grocery store

I could seriously write 20 more lines... .so glad I'm done with that.
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WhyMe?
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« Reply #33 on: December 13, 2014, 04:26:59 PM »

-  Feelings were hurt if I didn't hold her hand when we went shopping together... .even at the grocery store

I had an AFFAIR with mine and he was STILL hurt if I didn't want to hold his hand or kiss him in public IN TOWN! I mean really hurt, tears in the eyes hurt. He'd tell me he understood why we needed to act "like friends" at times like that - till the next time it happened of course.

Every once in awhile the word "delusional" would flash across my brain, but I dismissed it.

And here's another story, 2 distinct times I remember but I'm sure it happened more than that:

- Before we were dating, when we really were "just" friends... .I was sitting at my desk one morning at home, getting some quotes out before heading to my part time job. I used to chat with a few people online occasionally so I typically had iChat open. He came online and asked what I was doing. When I told him, he said, but I made pancakes for you. Remember, we were having breakfast? (at his place). I had NO recollection of that, but everyone forgets now and then. I apologized for forgetting and asked if I could do a rain check as I really needed to get the quotes out and get to work. He got really agitated and I couldn't talk him out of it. I really feel this incident set the whole tone of the following years with him, but I really felt bad that I forgot (I now realize I didn't forget anything, he made it all up). I ended up going over there, all was well with him and I barely made it to work on time. This would've been late 2006.

Fast forward 2 years to late 2008. My exh had just moved out of the house and I was trying to rediscover myself after 2 years of being pushed and pulled all over. I was hoping that "belonging" to the exbf would settle him down more - this was 6 months before I learned of BPD. Just day to day activities were not easy for me, exh was still in a lot of contact with me and exbf also wanted ALL my time. I get home from work and field a very angry call from him, after he learns I just want to hang out at home - alone. He tells me that he had put pizza in the oven, enough for both of us, and it would be ruined if I didn't get over there asap. In addition, not going over there would prove that I had no care for him. Again I tried to get out of it but there was no reasoning with him (I lived many days and nights telling myself "there's always tomorrow". It takes me 10 minutes to drive over there, and those pizzas take 10 minutes to bake. I pack up and head out. His front door is unlocked and he's in the shower. I check on the pizza expecting it to be ready to come out of the oven. THEY WERE STILL FROZEN! He had just put them in before getting in the shower, well AFTER we hung up. I questioned him on it when he got out of the shower, realizing he had completely lied to me that time, but he just brushed it off.
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workinprogress
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« Reply #34 on: December 13, 2014, 06:15:03 PM »

With regards to my wife, she told me a couple of weeks to a month after we started dating that she loved me.  She was stunning to look at, and I felt kind of honored that a woman like her would fall in love with me so quickly.

She loved bombed me all the time.

She did have a quick temper.  She could make a joke about herself, and if I jokingly said the same thing later she would get angry at me.

She told me the sex we had was the greatest. 

During our marriage she told me that I was the best sexually, then, suddenly after that, sex stopped.

She talked about herself non-stop.  I thought it was a cute little quirk at the time.
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Kwamina
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« Reply #35 on: December 13, 2014, 07:15:51 PM »

Staff only

This thread is being reviewed by staff.
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Oh, give me liberty! For even were paradise my prison, still I should long to leap the crystal walls.
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