BPDs and cutting

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Are any of you aware of any cutting the BPDx may have done?

I don't see many references to it on this forum and the BPDx i was involved with didn't cut nor would she ever, despite being koo-koo for cocoa puffs. The reason i ask is because just about every description of the disorder i read online has cutting as one of the MAIN signs of BPD and i don't think that is accurate.

Your thoughts?

[clydegriffith]

Are any of you aware of any cutting the BPDx may have done?

I don't see many references to it on this forum and the BPDx i was involved with didn't cut nor would she ever, despite being koo-koo for cocoa puffs. The reason i ask is because just about every description of the disorder i read online has cutting as one of the MAIN signs of BPD and i don't think that is accurate.

Your thoughts?

[EaglesJuju]

Mine is a cutter. Self-harming behavior is a characteristic but, it does not apply to all pwBPD. The diagnostic criteria for BPD did have that as a characteristic in the old DSM, but even then you needed 5 out of the 9 criteria to be diagnosed.  If you did not have that criteria, you still could have been diagnosed. The DSM-V has different criteria.   

[Mercury2Pluto]

Mine was a cutter.  She said that she started harming herself as a young child.

[neverloveagain]

My waif ex was too she would try and hide it from me sometimes when she quietly got stressed she did it a lot. And when i did wrong she would do it and show me after look what i made her do now.

[caughtnreleased]

mine was a cutter.  He'd had a couple episodes where he'd cut so deeply he needed to go to the ER.  He also frequently seemed to have cigarette burns on the back of his hands.  I think it helped him deal with feeling really badly about all the things he did to people, and being rejected by them as a result.

[HappyNihilist]

My exBPDbf used to be a pretty heavy-duty cutter. He still does it infrequently, during times of extreme stress. He did it right before he broke up with me.

I personally struggle with self-harming behaviors -- excoriation disorder, aka skin picking, which is not completely analogous in its pathology (skin picking is a compulsion more akin to OCD or substance abuse, while cutting is a conscious relief valve for emotional pain). Still, I definitely sympathize with him on this. I'm glad he's been able to control it so successfully; I know it's not easy.

My ex said that he did it so that he could feel something. I know others have different reasons for doing so.

[Faith1520]

When first learning about the disorder I wondered about this, too, because my ex had every symptom except for the self harming and being suicidal. I realize I was blind to a lot but I really couldn't imagine he would ever physically harm himself and we'd even had talks about those kind of things and seemed we were on the same page.

Here's the information I came across that explains that only some pw/BPD (mostly "low functioning" tend to cope with their pain through self injury. Learning about these two types made even more sense of things for me. My ex was very "high functioning"

www.aapel.org/BPD/BLlowhighfunctioningUS.html

www.outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/HighAndLowFunctioning.html

[HappyNihilist]

Here's the information I came across that explains that only some pw/BPD (mostly "low functioning" tend to cope with their pain through self injury. Learning about these two types made even more sense of things for me. My ex was very "high functioning"

www.aapel.org/BPD/BLlowhighfunctioningUS.html

www.outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/HighAndLowFunctioning.html

That's very interesting -- thank you so much for sharing, Faith.

My exbf has been high functioning for over 10 years, but he wasn't in his teens and 20s when the cutting was really bad. Now he only resorts to cutting when he's severely dysregulated.

It makes sense that lower functioning pwBPD would be more prone to self-injury. A way to express the extreme emotional turmoil and distress.

[misty_red]

My ex is: a cutter, a binger, sometimes starves herself, burns herself with cigarettes... .drinks lots of alcohol.

If they don't cut they have other ways to compensate/other defensve mechanisms/whatever.

[downwhim]

Mine was high functioning and thanks Faith for the links. I know all too well how the highs operate. They let you have it after the party... .you become the target of their anger in private.

[Xidion]

My ex was a cutter as a teenager. Still has scars from it. She also did it once when we were together. Also she once ran to the kitchen after an argument and put a knife to her wrist.