BPD Daughter, Triangulation? Narcissist?

[TryingToBeHappy]

Hi, this is not the first time I've posted on this board, but it's been quite some time since my last post.

My BPD daughter has had all the symptoms and problems listed if you do a google search of the illness... .She has been a nightmare.

She has been moved out of our home for about 6 months now, she visits often because she lives on the same street, she moved in with some family friends (or so we thought they were friends)... .When she moved in with them, we noticed they stopped talking to us, we were a little confused but kinda blew it off to us being paranoid maybe. Anyway, once she moved in there, after about 3 weeks, she would come visit us and tell us that these "family friends" were name calling us, it got to the point that she was telling us what they were saying on almost a daily basis. We were shocked, why would they talk about us in a negative way, we'd never done anything to them, we were good friends to them. We questioned her on why they would say such things, and her responses were always detrimental towards them "it's because they're miserable people"... ."Its because they're gossips"... ."I don't know why they say such things because you've never been nothing but nice to them"... .etc

She has a boyfriend, she was pretty close with his family... .She would always complain to me how he would blow her off because he wanted to spend time with his friend. A few weeks later, she told her boyfriend that his friend had been touching her inappropriately and forcing himself upon her when they were alone. Her boyfriend wanted to beat his friend up... .A week after this incident, we got a call from her boyfriends parents, they said my daughter had fabricated the whole scenario in order to split them up, so she'd have the boyfriend all to herself, his parents won't have anything to do with her anymore, they call her names and say she is very conniving and manipulative. Her plan had failed once her lies were thwarted, and her boyfriend and his friend are still very close. They seem to have forgiven her for trying to split their friendship, not sure why?

Anyway, just recently, we were all at a family gathering, my BPD daughter was also there... .A few of us smoke cigarettes and went outside for a smoke after we had eaten, there was me and 3 others... .The others that came out were family, but not immediate family, my BPD daughter came out to join us, she proceeded to start gossiping about an immediate family member to everyone, she said some hurtful things, the others just stood there in shock at what was coming out of her mouth. I was speechless and walked back into the house. Anyway, just yesterday, the family member who she had been saying things about confronted me, she was pretty angry! My BPD daughter had gone to see her and said "My Mom said this about you", and started to tell her that everything she had actually said outside that day, she told her I had said them! This family member was walking around for weeks thinking I had said these horrible things about her. Obviously, me and the family member had a good chat and she now knows it was my BPD daughter who had actually been saying it and not me... .Thank goodness I have witnesses or it would've been my word against hers! Now the family member doesn't want anything more to do with my BPD, she has banned her from visiting her home and doesn't want to speak to her anymore, and she's absolutely disgusted that she tried to push me under the bus.

We've noticed as a family that she has been doing things like this for the past couple of years, almost like she's trying to cause upset between family and friends, like planting the seed of doubt. I'm worried that her mental state is worsening, where she's now starting to hurt others outside of our home. She also recruits people to be on her side when she has a problem with someone, she tells them lies to garner sympathy, then makes them also react in a negative way towards the person that BPD daughter has a problem with. Usually, it's me she has issues with, I don't allow her to manipulate me in any way, I see thru her and know what she's doing. She's tried to even pit me and my husband off against each other, several times shes tried, but we are a team and don't allow her to come between us, she hates that! Now it's got us wondering, what exactly has she said to our family friends that she now lives with, to make them stop talking to us and start saying negative things about us?

My questions are: Is her behavior Triangulation?

                        Is there a certain way how to deal with her doing this?

                        Could she also be a narcissist?

I also have to add, that this isn't the only times she's tried to play people off against one another, it's been happening frequently! Each time, her lies get more and more vicious and unforgivable... .I'm at the point now where I want to cut her completely out of our lives, she frightens me with her lies, what could she say next. The things she said about the family member were not true, and if people believed what she said, it could've got the family member into serious trouble. To me, these are dangerous lies, lies that can effect other peoples lives in a negative way, something they can't easily walk away from unscathed. She scares me, she scares us all... .Is it the right thing to do to cut her off? Even for our own sanity and self protection?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

Now it's got us wondering, what exactly has she said to our family friends that she now lives with, to make them stop talking to us and start saying negative things about us?

I'm glad you found your way back to us, TryingToBeHappy, but very sorry for the circumstances that have brought you here... .You are going through a whirlwind of pain, frustration and confusion, and what is going on would be horrible for anyone to have to deal with. I actually don't have any experience with behaviors like this (my dBPD son is 37, but has never been hateful or disingenuous with us in those kinds of ways), but I do know that there are other members on this Board who do. I'm sure they will be here to give you some of their insights, advice and personal stories... .

I'm wondering if what she is telling you about these family friends is actually true? If she is untruthful about other people, and you are pretty sure she is telling them falsehoods about you and your family, I would think it's possible that the stories she is telling you about what your family friends are saying about you could also be false. I realize that they aren't speaking with you these days; have you tried contacting them at all? As bad as you think they feel about you, maybe they in turn are hearing things from your daughter that make them think you are feeling that way about them? Would you be able to contact them to try to straighten this out?

How old is your daughter? Is the family she lives with related to her boyfriend? In what way is her behavior dangerous to you? Are you fearful of more than the fact that she is spreading lies and possibly harming your relationships with other family members and friends? Are the people that she interacts with who know you unaware of her tendencies to do this?

I'm so sorry you are in this situation, and I hope that other parents on this Board who are dealing with the same thing will jump in tell you how they are handling it, TryingToBeHappy... .Hang in there 

[TryingToBeHappy]

Thank you Rapt reader, for responding... .

My BPD daughter was diagnosed at 15, but symptoms had been obvious since she was 13, we never thought she could have a disorder, it was her school counselor that alerted me to it, he told me she definitely has something going on that's not within the norm, he had worked in mental health for 15 years before starting work at the school. We took her to see a Psychologist, she would go twice a week for an hour. He was the one who told us she's definitely suffering from BPD, she was placed on meds, they didn't work, they tried several different kinds, some making her worse. She's currently not on any medication, she refuses to acknowledge there's anything wrong with her. She's almost 19 years old now.

We've gone thru many of the issues that other people have experienced on here, the rages, the lying, the inappropriate behavior, mood swings, arguments that go around in circles, abusive outbursts, blaming others for everything, just to name a few... .It exhausted us as a family, we actually started to resent her for making us all miserable and on edge, we were walking on eggshells all the time, everyday.

I think you are right when you say that she's probably telling the people she lives with that we're also talking about them in a negative way, they don't know her in the same way we do, so I can imagine they'd bite back and name call us, thinking she's telling the truth. Yes, we can contact them, we probably will at some point... .The thing being, if they find out she's playing them and lying, they may throw her out and she has nowhere else to go. We honestly can't have her back in our home, her behavior is so bad and she creates so much stress that it made me ill, I had to go on steroids for 6 months because my stress levels were so high with her that it had exhausted my adrenals and I was so ill I had to quit my job. I am ok now, but my doctors have warned that I cannot be overwhelmed with stress on a daily basis like that anymore or it could happen again.

When I say her lies are dangerous, for example, she's accused 4 or 5 different people of rape or sexual abuse, each time she gets busted for lying, once she's been discovered lying, she expects her victims to forget what she's done and be friends with her again. She has also accused people of beating her up when they haven't. I got a phone call from her school, the counselor wanted to wish me a speedy recovery because she had told them I was dying of liver failure and was receiving counseling for it, this of course was a lie and I had to tell them she was lying. She went around and told people that a family member was a drug addict, and would take drugs in front of her children and that she doesn't feed her children, this of course is all lies... .But the reprecussions for such lies could prove detrimental to the family member and her children should somebody want to act on this information. She left home, but told everyone I'd beat her up and kicked her out... .There's just too many lies to list, this is just a few, but do you see where I mean her lies are dangerous? She also told people she's had two abortions as a result of rape, and people believe her! I confronted her about her allegations, she tried the "I don't know what you're talking about" thing, but I told her I had proof she was saying these things, then she shrugged and said "I was just mad and stupid when i said that" like it was no big deal? I was so angry, I said to her ":)on't you understand you could get somebody into trouble by accusing them of these things?" Again, she shrugged like she didn't care. Maybe her brain doesn't comprehend, i don't know... .I found letters she had written, all full of lies, they were addressed to a boy she liked, claiming her home life is terrible, she'd listed all these things that would make us an awful abusive family, abusive parents... .etc Again, I confronted her, she again denied it, until I told her I had the letters. Again, she shrugged and said she was mad when she wrote them! God forbid anyone ever ruffles her feathers, because she'll come at you with a vengeance. She is constantly victimizing herself, constantly looking for that sympathy rush, and she doesn't care who she steps on to get it. She doesn't discriminate on who she throws under the bus.

I just found out yesterday, that she's cheating on her boyfriend now with his best friend that she accused of forcing himself upon her. I'm wondering if this is her next tactic to split her boyfriend and his friend, because the last one failed.

Some of the people around us are aware of her tendencies, but the extent of these tendencies seem to be getting worse, then there's those who have no idea she's like that. It just scares me no end, I always worry about what's going to come out of her mouth next, what about all the things shes lied about that I haven't discovered yet.

No, the people she lives with are just my husbands friends, they've known each other since they were teenagers, it's two guys who rent a house on our street, nice people, i can see they would pity her and take her in.

So, as you can see, her lies can go from wanting to garner sympathy, to trying to ruin peoples relationships. So we never know what type of lies are coming from one week to the next. I just feel like she's very manipulative in a bad way, and she involves others and tries to hurt others constantly. I would like to see the world thru her eyes for just one day, because i don't get what she's getting out of it. That's why I'm wondering if she's also a narcissist? Need to be in control, feels powerful when she's creating drama between people, because she does somehow take herself out of the situation when the poop hits the fan, sits back and watches the damage unfold that she's created. She's a hateful person.

[TryingToBeHappy]

Oh, I forgot to mention... .One of the family friends she lives with has been complaining about her to my neighbor, he has accused her of stealing from him, which of course she denied, we had the same problem with her, we had to keep our money in a locked safe, in a locked bedroom in order to keep her from stealing it.

He also complained she has no respect for their home, she smokes pot in there when they're out at work and they smell it when they return, they had to put a lock on their back door because she was sneaking her boyfriend in that way even tho they told her not to, she cooks and won't clean up after herself, and she has poor personal hygiene. He also complained that when they approach her about these habits, she argues. And I guess she got into an argument with one of them about the mess, and she turned round and said to him "so and so was right about you, you love to start trouble"... (so and so being the other guy who lives there)... .Which suggests to me that she may be trying to create a rift between them, it seems the other guy is a little more tolerant of her behavior too.

[Rapt Reader]

Which suggests to me that she may be trying to create a rift between them, it seems the other guy is a little more tolerant of her behavior too.

Yikes!  

It sounds like she may not be welcome in that house for much longer, and it also won't take too much more time for the guys to realize that anything she's complained to them about you & your family isn't true. They may be calling you pretty soon!

TryingToBeHappy, I don't really know a whole lot about Narcissism myself, but this site has lots of information about it, and you will probably find it enlightening and it should answer some (or all) of your questions: What is the relationship between BPD and narcissism (NPD)?, TOOLS: Family systems--understanding the narcissistic family and Dealing with narcissists by reinforcing the positive. I do know that there are other parents on this Board who are dealing with this with their own children, and I so hope they jump in and give you insights from their own experiences... .

The lying sounds awful, and you are right about the lies actually being dangerous for other people; I don't know why she is doing it but I can see why it frightens and concerns you so much... .And I do agree that you need to keep your stress levels low for your own health. If those guys ask her to leave, does she have another place to go to, so that you don't have to have her at home?

Have you read all the links to the right-hand side of this page? We also have some wonderful Feature Articles linked to under the 4 photos at the top of the threads listing. And though your daughter is not in Therapy for anything at this time, please read the Article about "Supporting a Child in Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder" because it is loaded with great, practical information about how to deal with her. I'm so sorry for all the trauma that she is causing for you, and for everyone who seems to care for her... .this has got to be tough  

[TryingToBeHappy]

Thank you for the links 

I will have a good read of them.

My husband just saw BPD daughter, he has let her know that we know about her recent lies, he said she tried to deny them at first, but once it was established there was no denying it, she went quiet and started shaking her leg, she wouldn't look at him. He said "that's some pretty messed up lying don't ya think?" She wouldn't respond, she closed down and looked a little panicky. He told her I was upset with her, along with the family member she lied about.

After a time lapse of silence, she said "I don't think I'll be going to Gmas at Christmas". Then my husband said bye to her, she said bye back.

[jellibeans]

tryingtobehappy

I know how the lies can hurt and how damaging they could be if believed. You should protect yourself at all times to guard from this kind of attack. I will record conversation and video an encounter secretly if need be.

Now I really want you to get past the focus being on the lying... .shaming and judging is not going to help your dd. You are too caught up in her lies... .your are hanging on too tightly to what is right and what is wrong... .you need to come from a different place. You need to accept that your dd is sick and work on getting her the help she needs.

I want to encourage you to read a book by Valerie Porr called Overcoming BPD... .look at the side bar and read those article too. She is not going to change... .you can only control what you can do ... .communicate with her differently ... .set boundaries... .valid and listen with empathy when you can... .but stop the focus on the lies... .you will never change that part of her.

[Kate4queen]

My son did this to us. He walked out and went to live with a friends parents, whom we'd known for several years. They never even bothered to call us or attempt to send my son back (something we'd done for them when their son ended up in our spare bedroom-we talked the issues through with him and sent him back home to sort them out). Later I realized that my son had been doing his usual thing of presenting us as monsters to them. They put up with him for 6 months and then asked him to leave.

I'm going to echo the above advice and say there is absolutely no point trying to prove to your DD that you know she is lying. All she's going to do is react badly, panic and make things worse. Not that you shouldn't have the conversation, just be calm, state your truths and let it go. Nothing you say will make her change her story, that's a big part of the BPD and narcissistic behavior. It's like you are living in two different realities. It took me a long while to work that one out.

It does sound as if she is getting a bit out of hand. Is she involved with any therapy or counseling? Would she agree to get help? I feel so sorry for you. It took me a long time to realize that the people who hated me on sight because of what he'd told them weren't my friends anyway and weren't important to me. I told family members the truth and even some of them don't get it and consider my 'parenting decisions' have caused the problems. Nothing I can do about that, either.

I think for your own sanity you need to stop protecting her and explaining and apologizing for her to everyone else. Its exhausting for you. And you need protecting. Are you seeing a therapist? I had to set up boundaries to protect myself and my other kids against my son's choices so that I was safe and away from the lying and stealing and drug abuse and... .you know all about that.

I wish you all the best.

[TryingToBeHappy]

Hi, thank you for responding.

She's stayed away since she found out we were aware of her lies, she does seem to be trying to patch things up with the family member she lied about, but she's having no luck with that.

You are right, I am too focused on her lies, sometimes I feel as tho it consumes me because they're so frequent.

I am not in any therapy, I probably need it after dealing with her so long!

She is not in any type of therapy either, we've suggested it many times but she refuses, she thinks there's nothing wrong with her. It's everyone else who she thinks has issues. So I'm at a loss, I have 2 choices, either take my life back by eliminating her out of my life, or basically put up with the constant upset and drama.

She will never agree to get help, she's not going to change. I'm at a loss, I have other children to think about too. I'm just sick and tired and exhausted with her.

[donnab]

My daughter tells lies a lot. She's just about to turn 21 and it is getting better. In the moment when the things she says hurts me it feels like she's lying but when the sting of it reduces it seems to me that it isn't exactly lying, if you know what I mean? In the heat of her emotional dysregulation she is thinking irrationally and *feels* something and then she says it. At that moment she believes it so technically although what she's saying isn't objectively true she isn't lying either. It's a fine balance, and it hurts me the things she says, particularly when they are about me. But I can't control what she says nor what others believe. Those who know me know I'm not the person she makes me out to be sometimes.

I'm sure many of us have been where you are, driven to the limits of what we can cope with and been made ill by the illness that our loved have. Over the last 2 and a bit years I have been on a journey to reduce my co-dependency and rebuild a life. It's been a really difficult journey, and I am only just at the beginning. I joined CODA & Al-anon for a while which helped with the process. I still think about my daughter a lot more than is probably healthy but no longer every minute I am not actively doing something. I miss being so close to my daughter but it was the only way to break the dependency. Being so close to her meant it was a full time job that was all consuming. I hope in the future we will become close again but in a healthier way. I am no longer filled with shame the things she does. Her life is still a mess at the moment, we are going through the court process to gain custody of her 17 month old daughter who has lived with us for the last 6 months, she is homeless and has been for 4 months although luckily she is sofa surfing with a friend, is using drugs and is in a very abusive relationship. It has been hard not to rescue her from this, but due to the complications you have mentioned - raging, causing conflict, lying, smoking weed, causing chaos/mess in the home - we have said she can no longer stay over even 1 night let alone stay with us until she finds somewhere to live. Even though she drives me insane sometimes and in the heat of the moment I want nothing more to do with her, I'm trying to understand it's more difficult for her than it is for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is when I focused on breaking my codependency and getting well in myself I have been able to create some distance, not rescue her from her chaos and no longer feel so trapped and resentful to her.

Like many others she cannot engage with therapy and services to get well at the moment, that is her choice, and as her mother it's hard to accept. But accept it I must and just hope she will get to the point where she can.

[TryingToBeHappy]

donnab, your experiences sound so familiar, and seem to mirror mine.

It feels good knowing I'm not alone, it is awful bearing the brunt of their lies isn't it? It's like they have a personal vendetta towards us, well in my case it does. If her lies were harmless, I could probably cope better with it, but since they're not, I find it more and more difficult to process what's going on. Every time she does it, I find that it consumes my thoughts for quite awhile, well at least until the next lie. I wish I could go out into the streets with a fog horn and expose her... .hahaha!

We had a family meeting yesterday, not just our household, but all the family. We discussed how to deal with her lying and trouble causing. We all pretty much accepted that she's not going to stop, but we (all of us) would take the power to do it away from her, by just not taking on board what she says! We have to just presume that she's telling lies because her lips are moving, and we won't react to anything she says. We won't allow her to ruin our relationship with one another. She used to do this between her friends, but she slowly lost them all, now she has her boyfriend, and that's it. We are wondering if that's why she does it with family now, because they're is nobody else for her to do it to?

Because she will never acknowledge there is anything wrong with her, or that her actions are wrong, one of the family suggested we give her an ultimatum "If you want to remain part of this family, you cannot do this anymore, and you have to go seek some professional help"... .What do you think?

We just couldn't come up with anything to change the situation with her than this.

I wish you luck getting custody of your granddaughter, she doesn't need to be in that environment. You may be able to get CPS to help you thru the court system with that.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[TryingToBeHappy]

tryingtobehappy

I know how the lies can hurt and how damaging they could be if believed. You should protect yourself at all times to guard from this kind of attack. I will record conversation and video an encounter secretly if need be.

Now I really want you to get past the focus being on the lying... .shaming and judging is not going to help your dd. You are too caught up in her lies... .your are hanging on too tightly to what is right and what is wrong... .you need to come from a different place. You need to accept that your dd is sick and work on getting her the help she needs.

I want to encourage you to read a book by Valerie Porr called Overcoming BPD... .look at the side bar and read those article too. She is not going to change... .you can only control what you can do ... .communicate with her differently ... .set boundaries... .valid and listen with empathy when you can... .but stop the focus on the lies... .you will never change that part of her.

Jellibeans... .As a family, we have done so much reading and research over the years on BPD and how to handle living with someone with it. We learned how to talk to her, how to handle her when she's going off the deep end on us, every scenario you can think of, we learned how to approach her differently. I really wish it was that simple, our different view and different approach didn't change a thing, infact, it made her worse, it was like she felt she could walk all over us even more. It's not like we did this new approach for a month, we did it for over a year. All the family were involved, we all did it... .Nothing at all changed with her, she went worse. We would follow the advice from many articles, links from this website, I even called a mental health specialist to confirm I was doing it right.

I'm kinda thinking she's gone beyond anything we can help her with, I truly believe she needs hospitalising and given intense therapy.

When she lived with us, we would experience all the things I've mentioned before: The walking on eggshells, the mood swings, the lying, the arguments that go in circles, the denials, the everything is everyone elses fault... .etc Thankfully, we don't have to deal with her daily problems anymore because we're not around it and don't have to live it. I'm sorry to admit, our lives are so much better and relaxed now she's not here. But she is now getting worse with the "woe is me" stories, the pity parties, the constant lying, the trying to cause rifts in the family. Shes doing it from a distance.

I do except she's ill, but I also except I can't help her.

[Lacey Mae]

My daughter has a new boyfriend and this is the first time we have seen a new behavior from her .  Most of the time she would show a more united front with her parents to the boyfriends.  This new boyfriend is kept very little around us and tells this boy lies about us and uses vulgar speech about us.  I know they have had a rocky relationship.  He does know she is in therapy.  I do know her Dr. has told her not to get into a relationship but I am not sure if her Dr. knows. Since she leaves with me, I cant help to over hear some of her phone conversations due to the volume in her voice when she is giving him the old BPD treatment.  Sometimes it is hard being the watcher of the three ring circus and having to keep ones mouth shut and hands tied.

[Lacey Mae]

Sorry, lives not leaves... .oops

[TryingToBeHappy]

My daughter has a new boyfriend and this is the first time we have seen a new behavior from her .  Most of the time she would show a more united front with her parents to the boyfriends.  This new boyfriend is kept very little around us and tells this boy lies about us and uses vulgar speech about us.  I know they have had a rocky relationship.  He does know she is in therapy.  I do know her Dr. has told her not to get into a relationship but I am not sure if her Dr. knows. Since she leaves with me, I cant help to over hear some of her phone conversations due to the volume in her voice when she is giving him the old BPD treatment.  Sometimes it is hard being the watcher of the three ring circus and having to keep ones mouth shut and hands tied.

I'm sure her boyfriend will catch onto her soon, my daughter does the same, she has no friends because of it anymore. Her behavior pushes people away, they can't cope with her. Most of the time they just gradually go away, like they can only handle her in small doses. I've heard them make their excuses as to why they can't hang out with her that day, and the excuses are pretty lame. Her boyfriend makes the same excuses, most of the time he won't pick up the phone if its her, he doesn't respond to her text messages for days, then he'll claim he was out and left his phone at home, however, his facebook activity contradicts that. People usually find out the hard way what they're like, it's just a shame it takes time. 

[Lacey Mae]

While  I am very lucky my daughter came to the point she had BPD, and seeing a Dr. 3 times a week , I am still the point person.  I am happy she has had some fantastic movement with her own emotions.  However ,  her anxiety, anger, BPD is still there and strikes out with the same negative behavior.  She has not learn how to negotiate with her family members.  She probably feels comfortable raging out at us or simply giving the silent treament for long periods of time.  She wants that emotional control over people close to her

[Lacey Mae]

God... .it sounds like we have the same child.

[Lacey Mae]

What helped turn my daughter around was a book she read... .get me out of here by rachel reiland.  She claims that is the book that saved her life.

[Lacey Mae]

For a moment of sane:  She talked to me for about 5 min. in a vunerable and calm moment when she said she realized she needed the correct help.  She said she  mirrored  this girl in the book and she realized to go on in life she needed to change.  She has gotten better but the rough periods are still there.  OH how I wish BPD would go away forever for her and for me

[TryingToBeHappy]

While  I am very lucky my daughter came to the point she had BPD, and seeing a Dr. 3 times a week , I am still the point person.  I am happy she has had some fantastic movement with her own emotions.  However ,  her anxiety, anger, BPD is still there and strikes out with the same negative behavior.  She has not learn how to negotiate with her family members.  She probably feels comfortable raging out at us or simply giving the silent treament for long periods of time.  She wants that emotional control over people close to her

Yes, those long silences, those are ones that make you feel you're walking on eggshells around them, my husband calls this her "superpower". She can switch the mood of the house in a second, and we all feel it, we look at each other because some dark, depressive cloud just came right over us in a blink of an eye! It always amazed me how she was able to bring us all down like that without saying a word.

[Lacey Mae]

Ditto... .its like living on the edge of a dime... .just never get to comfortable with the positive... .BAM... it can change on the spin of a dime.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[TryingToBeHappy]

My BPD daughter messaged me lastnight asking for a ride to her boyfriends dads (his mother won't have anything to do with her)... .I didn't respond.

I am going to buy that book "Get me out of here" by Rachel Reiland, I'm going to read it and then send it to her. I read some of the reviews, I was interested that the people with BPD who had read it, said it helped them a lot.