gobsmacked at my replacements

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My exgf is 41. Her boyfriend who I thought was my replacement is 55.

This was a bit of a shock as 14 years is a fair bit.

Imagine my suprise when I was told she was seeing someone before him who was even older. Apparently in his late sixties earlt seventies.

Im not sure what to make of this. Part of me thinks its funny. Another part thinks it must be confusing for her friends and another part feels sad for her as she seems to be looking for a father figure to look after her.

Anyone else had experience with this?

[enlighten me]

My exgf is 41. Her boyfriend who I thought was my replacement is 55.

This was a bit of a shock as 14 years is a fair bit.

Imagine my suprise when I was told she was seeing someone before him who was even older. Apparently in his late sixties earlt seventies.

Im not sure what to make of this. Part of me thinks its funny. Another part thinks it must be confusing for her friends and another part feels sad for her as she seems to be looking for a father figure to look after her.

Anyone else had experience with this?

[clydegriffith]

From my experience, and this pertains to how the BPDxgf was, there is no pattern, rhyme, reason or logic to how she goes about picking her next victims. As a matter of fact i think to say she "picked" someone isn't even the right word as with 5 kids under the age of 6, she just jumps into a full blown "relationship" with anyone gullable enough to believe her BS. If things don't work out, and they never do, then it's next man up.

I'm really shocked at how easy it is for her to just keep getting guy after guy to comitt to her and a bunch of kids that aren't theirs. I would have thought she would be radioactive by now but i'm sure she could pop out another 3 or 4 kids and there will be someone around willing to put up with her.

[RisingSun]

My xw didn't run off with a much older man, but someone equally inappropriate.

She replaced me with a total loser. This douchebag cheated on his wife with one of his patients. Got busted by his wife. Tore the family apart, two kids won't even speak to him. Was reported to the board of physicians, lost his license to practice as an MD. He's in extreme debt paying alimony, medical school loans and he doesn't even have a place to live full time. He now works three landscaping jobs. Not that there's anything wrong with landscaping but going from being an MD to landscaping is a pretty big demotion. Life can suck when you a fck.

I believe my xw scooped this derelict up just to have an enabler by her side. Someone who can "empathize" with her reasons for betraying her husband. Of course she would choose a cheater for her next partner. As they say, birds of a feather. They can stay up into the wee hours of the morning justifying why they felt the need to cheat on their partners.

Sounds like a perfect match to me. Soulmates  

[Raybo48]

I'm in agreement with the premise that there is no pattern.  My ex would tell me she hated guys with tattoos yet when I saw pictures of her ex boyfriends they had tattoos.  She also said she didn't like younger guys yet she told me all the guys she had dated previously to me were younger than me and her.  She also said she liked guys who were "classy" yet I found out that many of her ex's had served time in jail... .So the moral of this story is I never really got the truth from her on what type of guy she was actually was attracted to.

I think one thing is for sure, the BPD will always be attracted to someone who gives them the most N-supply and age has nothing to do with it.

[guy4caligirl]

Very true !

[clydegriffith]

I'm in agreement with the premise that there is no pattern.  My ex would tell me she hated guys with tattoos yet when I saw pictures of her ex boyfriends they had tattoos.  She also said she didn't like younger guys yet she told me all the guys she had dated previously to me were younger than me and her.  She also said she liked guys who were "classy" yet I found out that many of her ex's had served time in jail... .So the moral of this story is I never really got the truth from her on what type of guy she was actually was attracted to.

I think one thing is for sure, the BPD will always be attracted to someone who gives them the most N-supply and age has nothing to do with it.

This is funny because the BPDx X used to say the exact same thing. Oh, i'm not attracted to ____ kind of guys and sooner or later she'd end up screwing exactlyt hat.

[enlighten me]

From the many exs she told me about only one was a lot older and that was about twenty years ago. All the others were around her age or younger. Im just shocked that my replacement had a bus pass and pension .

I understand its all about there needs being met but she also makes a great deal about her image and what others think. I cant imagine her friends have taken it without thinking it strange.

[Dutched]

Ditto.

Exw begin 50 and a UK guy age 65 (a GREAT grandpa!), fled from the UK to mainland Europe after several yrs. moving around in a camper, fat as a Michelin puppet.

From a low social class (typical rebelling in early/mid 60ties, expressing it by ordinary tattoos, totally disgusting and contempt in those days).

A grandpa(!) who hooked a ‘next last soulmate’ with a house, comfort at cold nights and to be taken care of in his old days.

Exw is not happy, exw is not in love only attached to supply. There is no sparkling left in her eyes nor in her body language. 

For years in our r/s I predicted her THIS outcome, to be hooked by “just someone” 

Predicted her to end up in a total a affair down.

Many confirmations, better validations for me.