ex is trying to break nc

[Depression = 72% of members]

My phone rings. It's her. I hit answer and then immediately hit end. She then starts texting me some blah blah blah crap that I'm just ignoring. It's actually FUNNY now that I have detached and ignore her.

Its almost cute... .

[evilpepsi]

My phone rings. It's her. I hit answer and then immediately hit end. She then starts texting me some blah blah blah crap that I'm just ignoring. It's actually FUNNY now that I have detached and ignore her.

Its almost cute... .

[Jmanster]

After how long of no contact did she try contacting you?

[Xidion]

After how long of no contact did she try contacting you?

It's so funny how most situations are the same. Mines currently doing drivebys at places I just happen to be at. Prob won't be long until I start getting texts.  Don't validate her. That's what she wants.

[evilpepsi]

After how long of no contact did she try contacting you?

Seven days. For a brief second, I had the urge to answer the phone and say "duck off skank... ." but I'm in control of my emotions and she no longer has the power to affect my reactions. She is just a bad joke to me now... .

[Jmanster]

Damn dude, my ex is currently getting a lot of attention from a lot of guys at the moment so I think mine will be quiet... .however on halloween, I didn't spend time with her, I was out with other women and she tried desperately calling me, saying that she misses me and sht. So, we shall see when she is alone, probably on New Years eve. That bi*ch. I can't believe she dragged me to hell with her.

[Targeted]

After how long of no contact did she try contacting you?

It's so funny how most situations are the same. Mines currently doing drivebys at places I just happen to be at. Prob won't be long until I start getting texts.  Don't validate her. That's what she wants.

That's funny, i'm getting messages still and waiting for the drive-bys!

[evilpepsi]

After how long of no contact did she try contacting you?

It's so funny how most situations are the same. Mines currently doing drivebys at places I just happen to be at. Prob won't be long until I start getting texts.  Don't validate her. That's what she wants.

That's funny, i'm getting messages still and waiting for the drive-bys!

Either he or she drove by my moms because They saw my jeep there and cracked a comment.

[Ripped Heart]

I'm currently in a r/s with someone suspected of being BPD and it is a rough ride. However, not my first time (hence therapy for my caretaking issues)

The first time, she called things off after dragging me through hell for 2 years, BPD was just the start (her therapist put her around the psychopath mark). Given how it all ended, my therapist at the time asked me what I will do WHEN she contacts me again and I laughed. Didn't think it possible given that I was told if I ever tried to contact her she would call the police and I went NC straight away. It took her a week before she started contacting me and as fast as I was blocking her, she was finding other methods to contact me.

Over the course of going NC, she made close to 250 attempts and June this year was when it finally stopped (or so I thought) She has since reappeared on LinkedIn as someone I might know. Found the last email she sent in June the other day, seems I didn't delete it, not because I didn't want to but because I simply didn't care enough to notice. Anyway, I opened it and it was the most pleasant and polite email she ever sent. Had I not lived through the nightmare, you wouldn't have guessed it was the same person.

Needless to say, I laughed and hit delete. If there is one thing I've learned, NC is there to help you and there may be people out there who never get contacted again and others who it is an endless barrage. I know for me, I'm in a place where I can quite happily deal with anything my ex sends my way without it opening old wounds. However, given that I've walked into a new BPD relationship 2 years later, I'm refocusing all my energies in dealing with my own issues.

Glad you are in a good place evilpepsi and seeing things for what they really are.

[evilpepsi]

We give these people the power to affect us, just like we play enabler when we coddle a child that's throwing a tantrum. I'm done paying attention to the screaming child. She has someone else, so this is no longer my circus, nor is she my monkey.

I kmow that she will try to pop up again. She admits to recycling. For a while it felt like I was on a lame train with a first class ticket on the nonstop to nowhere, but this is my stop.

While most of you have to deal with only one person with a pd, I'm having yo deal with two simultaneously, thanks to her narcissist bf. He blows me up more than she does, which tells me that either he thinks that I'm sexy, haha, or he is threatened... .

[Hadlee]

After how long of no contact did she try contacting you?

Seven days. For a brief second, I had the urge to answer the phone and say "duck off skank... ." but I'm in control of my emotions and she no longer has the power to affect my reactions. She is just a bad joke to me now... .

Haha "duck off skank". Love that!

[Ripped Heart]

We give these people the power to affect us, just like we play enabler when we coddle a child that's throwing a tantrum.

Ironically this is true. For some they are still working on figuring that out, for me after therapy a couple of years ago, I told my new therapist exactly the root cause. Despite that, I choose to go the other way and coddle the child because I haven't figured out how to change that and my previous therapist, as great as he was, wanted to focus on the present rather than solutions to issues in the past so I never got work out closure on that. I guess I ended up in another BPD r/s because I dealt with the person before and not the illness.

Have you thought about how you will deal with things when she does pop up? I know that right now you are in a good place and see things for what they are, though sometimes it's like they have a radar (or spies) and resurface when you are in a vulnerable position. Also sounds like her bf feels threatened, you seem to be disrupting his ego, either through things she has said to him or through his own paranoia, either could spell some interesting times ahead for your ex 

[downwhim]

Honestly they are so sick. Mine got on a website I was on to view me. Pathetic. He has someone else now and she looks like me supposedly and called me at 2:30 am to let me know that! Right now I hate him so much and his whack job girlfriend. I know that is not good for me to carry around. Not good for my health or life in general.

[evilpepsi]

We give these people the power to affect us, just like we play enabler when we coddle a child that's throwing a tantrum.

Ironically this is true. For some they are still working on figuring that out, for me after therapy a couple of years ago, I told my new therapist exactly the root cause. Despite that, I choose to go the other way and coddle the child because I haven't figured out how to change that and my previous therapist, as great as he was, wanted to focus on the present rather than solutions to issues in the past so I never got work out closure on that. I guess I ended up in another BPD r/s because I dealt with the person before and not the illness.

Have you thought about how you will deal with things when she does pop up? I know that right now you are in a good place and see things for what they are, though sometimes it's like they have a radar (or spies) and resurface when you are in a vulnerable position. Also sounds like her bf feels threatened, you seem to be disrupting his ego, either through things she has said to him or through his own paranoia, either could spell some interesting times ahead for your ex 

She recycled him.  We had to deal with his npd for six months.  He blew us both up and she even compared us to him and how he comes up short. He is scrawny, I'm almost the same size as t be rock. He is bald. I still have all of my hair. He isn't very bright. I'm nerd smart, haha. I'm romantic and he is cold. He beats women, I don't. He cheats, I dont, and so on. While I thought that it was funny, in hindsight, maybe she should have kept quiet, hahaha

[downwhim]

evilpepsi,

She was a fool to let you go with all those qualities. Do you know how rare that is in this crazy dating world? Figures these BPD's land with nutcases. I got two calls in the middle of the night from his drunk replacement and her girlfriend... .How did they get my number? I would not have put it past him to hand it out because he loves revenge... .

Amazing what little regard and respect they have for us!

[Xidion]

Looks, qualities, honor, honesty, respect... etc... mean nothing to them. They aren't looking for a good candidate for a husband like normal woman. They are looking for attention... from anyone. My replacement isn't even half the man I am, and he is straight up fugly. My female friends can't believe how ugly he is... .inbred looking sob. And he is supposedly an "upgrade" as she said. And she is a cutie. All they want is attention and to be obsessed over until it wears off and they find then next guy.

[evilpepsi]

Looks, qualities, honor, honesty, respect... etc... mean nothing to them. They aren't looking for a good candidate for a husband like normal woman. They are looking for attention... from anyone. My replacement isn't even half the man I am, and he is straight up fugly. My female friends can't believe how ugly he is... .inbred looking sob. And he is supposedly an "upgrade" as she said. And she is a cutie. All they want is attention and to be obsessed over until it wears off and they find then next guy.

Long before we split, she told me that she is drawn to chaos and there was none with me. I'm not saying that I'm all that, but I did treat her better than she is used to. Far better... .

[Mutt]

Long before we split, she told me that she is drawn to chaos and there was none with me. I'm not saying that I'm all that, but I did treat her better than she is used to. Far better... .

No physical, financial or emotional assistance ever seems to make any lasting difference. It's like pouring the best of your self into a galactic-sized Psychological Black Hole of bottomless emotional hunger. And if you keep pouring it in long enough, one-day you'll fall right down that hole yourself.

I like this paragraph from the article "How a borderline relationship evolves." You can keep pouring like water into a jug with holes in the bottom. No amount is enough.

[evilpepsi]

Long before we split, she told me that she is drawn to chaos and there was none with me. I'm not saying that I'm all that, but I did treat her better than she is used to. Far better... .

No physical, financial or emotional assistance ever seems to make any lasting difference. It's like pouring the best of your self into a galactic-sized Psychological Black Hole of bottomless emotional hunger. And if you keep pouring it in long enough, one-day you'll fall right down that hole yourself.

I like this paragraph from the article "How a borderline relationship evolves." You can keep pouring like water into a jug with holes in the bottom. No amount is enough.

I agree.  Her last text to me was "you just thought that I was a buckethead before. You haven't seen the buckethead that I will be... ." buckethead is substituted for the obvious. I want to laugh at her smugness because as far as bucketheads go, she was probably one of the mildest that I have ever been with. I have seen her go into what she calls full buckethead mode on her ex that she just recycled and it was so cute that it made me laugh. I actually had to offer pointers.

The sad thing is that I know that it's just a matter of time before he puts his hands back on her and before I end up in jail for hurting this douche. I just can't help it when it comes to a man hurting a woman. I won't even call that karma for her because no matter what she has done to me, shell never deserve that...