Small progress is still progress

[Cat21]

I know that when I read an account of success on these boards, it gives me hope, so I thought I'd try to offer that! This is by no means an end point, but the light at the end of the tunnel has been shining brightly enough for me to see as of late... .

I've been coming to these boards for support for about 7 months. In that time, I've learned what BPD is, how to validate (and invalidate!), how to set and enforce boundaries, and how to see my uBPDh for what he is: a person with a mental illness. While there have been many lows (and fewer highs), overall, the last 2-3 months have seen a steady upward trend.

One of the biggest issues for me is the criticism/micromanaging/nagging. I have REALLY been trying to not let it "get to me" by validating his concern (no matter how ridiculous) and moving on. It doesn't always work, but I have noticed a decline in the nagging over the last few months. Just yesterday, he wanted me to do something dishes-related (I can't even remember- I must really not have cared!), and although it seemed silly to me, I said, "OK. Next time I'll try to remember. Thanks." And that was it- moved on. THAT is progress for him.

Lastly, I am 2.5 months pregnant. When I first came to these boards, I was worried that I would not have a family with my H because of (many) horror stories I read. I needed time to decide if I wanted to stay in my marriage and potentially raise a child with my uBPDh. Through the progress I've seen, and a noticeable decline in dysregulations/arguements, I decided that I did want to stay and that I did want to raise a family with the man to whom I chose to commit. Although 2.5 months is NOT a long time, I must say that since finding out I am pregnant, my H is quite different- attentive, supportive, present, and (low and behold) even apologetic. I don't know if this is a "phase" or if it's real change- time will tell. But for now, small progress is still progress.

Peace and love to all in this holiday season!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kc sunshine]

Oh that is great to hear Cat21! Your story gives me hope as well-- thank you for it.

[formflier]

 

   

Thank you for sharing!