10 Years ago

[ShadowIntheNight]

It was 10 years ago tonight that we met for the first time. I'm having a hard go of it this holiday season. Who am I kidding? I'm having a hard go of it all the time.

When we first got together all those years ago, we talked about going to Hawaii on our 10th anniversary. Well here it is. And she's obviously with some guy now. 9.5 years and she decides she's straight again. I'm pretty sure whoever she's seeing doesn't know that she dumped a woman. It doesn't matter. I just know there is nothing in my head that can make any sense of this. All I know is that I never knew I had such sadness and tears inside of me.

[Turkish]

I'm sorry you are hurting, ShadowIntheNight. Pretty much a decade is a long r/s. You change, and your change tends to be tied to your partner, PD behaviors or not.

This time of year is around the time I and mine got together 7 years ago. She moved out last Feb. So many dreams and plans feel like they were wasted on the wrong person. Do you have the support of friends or family through the season? After so long likely care taking a pwBPD, how are you taking care of yourself this season? I'm trying to figure this out myself... .