Surprised and sad about how BPD friend is alienating her kids

[Deelakehouse]

 :'( Childhood friend is alarming me.  Finally decided to share with her adult daughter what I'd suspected & referred child to this site. Feeling scared that I've betrayed my friend.  Relieved the girl is seeking independent counselling/validation with a therapist.  Hate to see either suffering but feeling so, so guilty and meddlesome. Just couldn't bear to watch it anymore without reaching out to the child.  Guess I identify with her cause of my own childhood. Glad to find this group.

[ftm0514]

Speaking from the position of an adult daughter suffering the roller coaster of a BPM mom, it would have been amazing and wonderful had one of my mother's friends talked to me about my mother's dysfunction.  It's very hard as a child (even adult child) of a BPM mother to feel validated because often people outside the immediate family don't see that side of my mother. Validation from an "outsider" is huge, and very healing.

[rebl.brown]

You totally did the right thing, no matter what happens, the daughter can turn on you just as the mother might. Don't worry about that.  Stand in the truth.  Hopefully this daughter will escape and your telling the truth may make the difference.  It's never wrong to do the right thing.

[P.F.Change]

Welcome to bpdfamily, Deelakehouse.

It sounds like you are really concerned for your friend's daughter. What kinds of things is your friend doing that are alarming you? What was your own uprbinging like?

We're glad you're here, and hope to hear more from you.

Wishing you peace,

PF