Rage hate and anger then deadly silence after break up

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My BPDexgf over a 2 week period after the break up (I split up with her and has a replacemnt ) was texting me hurtful things saying she doesnt care , hates me , telling me to stay out of her life etc blocked me on her FB and phone . Then out of nowhere unblocked me on her phone I replied with 1 text wishing her happy Xmas etc . Now deadly silence has been for 2 weeks ? She is still talking about me to mutuel freinds etc and after her smear campaign back fired she still trying to cause conflict between everyone . It's so strange how she has gone silent but still left me unblocked on her phone . Anyone had this and did you ever get a reason ?

[Splitblack4good]

My BPDexgf over a 2 week period after the break up (I split up with her and has a replacemnt ) was texting me hurtful things saying she doesnt care , hates me , telling me to stay out of her life etc blocked me on her FB and phone . Then out of nowhere unblocked me on her phone I replied with 1 text wishing her happy Xmas etc . Now deadly silence has been for 2 weeks ? She is still talking about me to mutuel freinds etc and after her smear campaign back fired she still trying to cause conflict between everyone . It's so strange how she has gone silent but still left me unblocked on her phone . Anyone had this and did you ever get a reason ?

[misty_red]

Mine had a smearing campaign going on as well. After that didn't work out an backfired at her she she left our sport's team (there she was doing the smear campaign), went dead silent for a whole month then showed up but I'm still getting the silent treatment. I don't know what's going on and I guess I never will. But actually I don't even want to understand anymore. Takes too much energy I need for other things. So yeah, from time to time I wonder but this mind___ has gotten too insane. Whenever you think you understand what's going on some other insane thing happens and you're confused again. Don't try to understand. It doesn't help to detach. Just my two cents. Maybe others see it differently.

[Splitblack4good]

Thing that's getting to me the most is the last text I sent her was I'm happy she is happy and found someone who can give her attention and that if we bump into one another no hard feelings and I'm moving on to . I made it clear Id leave her alone but I realised I left some important documents at her house and she won't respond to her freinds text about getting them back ive stayed NC

Why is it that you tell them you except the relaitionship is over and you say I'm happy for you they can't even be polite or they run a mile wen they see you ? I don't get it ?

[misty_red]

My last message to her was also something nice. I wrote that I want to say goodbye and wish her well for her future and even though the relationship/friendship didn't work out I will keep her in mind. No response at all. But I knew she wouldn't, I knew she would possibly see it as a weak thing to do. But I don't care. I did it because I wanted to say goodybe even though she'll never be able to say goodbye.

I do have many different theories why but in the end it doesn't matter. We can't ever know and maybe that's a good thing not being possible to put ourselves in a BPD's shoes.

[Deeno02]

I dont care what she told her friends about why we arent together anymore. Like I said, I dont see her friends anymore(not like I did anyway) and she doesnt really speak to any of our 2-3 mutuals. I have zero contact and she has not reached out to me. I dont care she's happy, dont want to know she's happy, and however long I can keep from seeing her, the better off I am(i'll not have a choice coming up in a couple months).

While her memory pains me greatly, I no longer have any fu*ks left to give about her and what she does and who she does it with. Not my problem. She's blocked and deleted on everything, and I hope I am as well.

[ucmeicu2]

It's so strange how she has gone silent but still left me unblocked on her phone . Anyone had this and did you ever get a reason ?

most likely youre unblocked so you can/will continue to contact her.  they feed off it.  any attention, positive OR negative, is Narcissistic Supply for them.[/quote]

Why is it that you tell them you except the relaitionship is over and you say I'm happy for you they can't even be polite or they run a mile wen they see you ? I don't get it ?

BPD's/narcissists are NOTORIOUS for being either unable or unwilling to give closure.  you must learn to accept it and give yourself closure. 

Mine had a smearing campaign going on as well. After that didn't work out an backfired at her she she left our sport's team (there she was doing the smear campaign), went dead silent for a whole month then showed up but I'm still getting the silent treatment. I don't know what's going on and I guess I never will.

The Silent Treatment is the virulent form of Passive-Aggression known to man!  my xBPDgf was a master at it.  the more i begged her not to b/c it was so painful for me, the MORE she gave it to me.  go figure, right?    

the mind___ery is staggering and inconceivable.  you cannot make sense of the senseless.  RUN!  and stay NC!  thats my best advice.  it's also advice that was given to me by the HEAD of a mental health clinic, but did i take it?   

icu

[Splitblack4good]

It's so strange how she has gone silent but still left me unblocked on her phone . Anyone had this and did you ever get a reason ?

most likely youre unblocked so you can/will continue to contact her.  they feed off it.  any attention, positive OR negative, is Narcissistic Supply for them.

Why is it that you tell them you except the relaitionship is over and you say I'm happy for you they can't even be polite or they run a mile wen they see you ? I don't get it ?

BPD's/narcissists are NOTORIOUS for being either unable or unwilling to give closure.  you must learn to accept it and give yourself closure. 

Mine had a smearing campaign going on as well. After that didn't work out an backfired at her she she left our sport's team (there she was doing the smear campaign), went dead silent for a whole month then showed up but I'm still getting the silent treatment. I don't know what's going on and I guess I never will.

The Silent Treatment is the virulent form of Passive-Aggression known to man!  my xBPDgf was a master at it.  the more i begged her not to b/c it was so painful for me, the MORE she gave it to me.  go figure, right?    

the mind___ery is staggering and inconceivable.  you cannot make sense of the senseless.  RUN!  and stay NC!  thats my best advice.  it's also advice that was given to me by the HEAD of a mental health clinic, but did i take it?   

icu[/quote]
I do have closure I have spoken to her since the split its not that that's bothering me it's the fact she has not said anything since tbh I think she does love me that's why she has withdrawn . After loosing all her freinds over this aswell is like a double hit ! It's her own fault and she knows I understand a lot more about BPD now she has remained silent if she wants to talk she knows were I am enough said .

[ucmeicu2]

I do have closure I have spoken to her since the split its not that that's bothering me it's the fact she has not said anything since tbh I think she does love me that's why she has withdrawn . After loosing all her freinds over this aswell is like a double hit ! It's her own fault and she knows I understand a lot more about BPD now she has remained silent if she wants to talk she knows were I am enough said .

and she would talk to you... .for what purpose?  you think she loves you?  borderlines are not capable of a mature, healthy, adult love.  they are the poster child for Arrested Development.   somewhere around 3-6 if i recall - it's been some time since i read voraciously on the subject.  i read voraciously for so long b/c i couldn't accept the reality.  and b/c it was easier to focus on her instead of me.  there is no healing in that, guaranteed. 

she is ill and will probably never get better - that is the unfortunate truth.  you/we are ill, too.  the difference is we can get better.   

a healthy, functional adult would have walked (or ran!) at the first sign of the red flags.  my job - all of our jobs - if we are to get healthy, is to dig deep to find what part we played in it... .  why didn't we leave?  why did we stay in a bad situation until (for most of us) we were almost completely destroyed? that's where the real ray of sunshine and hope is. 

icu